How Rejection Taught Me to Approve of Myself

Rejection used to feel like the end of the world.

Whether it was a job I wanted, a relationship I poured into, a friend drifting away, or a creative idea dismissed—

every “no” echoed through me like confirmation of what I feared most:

“You’re not enough.”

“You don’t belong.”

“You’re too much… or maybe not enough.”

I let those echoes define me.

Because I hadn’t yet learned the difference between someone else's opinion—

and my own truth.

But slowly, over time, and through pain that softened me instead of hardening me,

I found something powerful in rejection:

An invitation to approve of myself.

🎯 When Rejection Feels Personal

Let’s be honest—rejection hurts.

No matter how many motivational quotes we read,

being turned down, left out, or not chosen stings.

Because it often touches something tender inside us:

Our desire to be loved

Our fear of not mattering

Our craving to feel seen and affirmed

The problem isn’t the rejection itself—

it’s what we make it mean about who we are.

I used to internalize every closed door.

I’d think, “If they don’t choose me, maybe I’m not worth choosing.”

But here’s what I now understand:

Sometimes rejection isn’t a reflection of your value—

it’s a redirection toward your truth.

🪞What Rejection Revealed

Every rejection I experienced—big or small—pushed me inward.

At first, that felt like isolation.

But eventually, it felt like clarity.

Because when you stop chasing external approval,

you’re left with a powerful question:

What do I believe about myself when no one is clapping?

And the answer to that question?

It changed everything.

I realized I had spent years outsourcing my self-worth—

measuring my value based on someone else's standards.

But when you live like that, you become a shapeshifter.

You say what’s safe.

You shrink what’s bold.

You become what’s likable… and lose what’s real.

💡 From Rejection to Reflection

Here’s what I began doing differently when I stopped seeing rejection as failure:

I paused before reacting.

Instead of spiraling, I asked, “What story am I telling myself about this?”

I got honest about what I actually wanted.

Some of the things I was chasing were never aligned with me in the first place.

I stopped begging for doors that were meant to stay closed.

Because not every “no” is a punishment. Sometimes, it’s protection.

I started approving of myself first.

I asked, “Would I choose me? Would I hire me, love me, support me, even if no one else does?”

And slowly, the grip of external validation loosened.

🌿 Learning to Approve of Myself

Self-approval isn’t loud.

It doesn’t always look like confidence.

Sometimes it’s quiet and steady, like a whisper that says:

“I know who I am.

I know what I carry.

I don’t need your ‘yes’ to keep going.”

I started writing things I believed in—without worrying if they’d go viral.

I wore what made me feel good—not what was trendy.

I stopped explaining myself in conversations where I knew I wouldn’t be understood.

And that? That was freedom.

🔥 The Power of Internal Validation

When you stop needing constant external affirmation, you begin to build something stronger:

self-trust.

You trust your timing.

You trust your voice.

You trust that even if someone walks away, you’re still worth staying for.

This doesn’t mean rejection won’t sting.

It just means it won’t shatter you anymore.

Because you’ve already chosen yourself.

🛠️ How I Practice Self-Approval Now

It’s an ongoing journey, not a one-time revelation. But here’s what helps me stay anchored:

Daily affirmations that are grounded in truth, not fluff

(e.g., “I am worthy of good things, even when I don’t feel perfect.”)

Journaling my wins—even the small ones

(Validation doesn’t always need to come from the outside.)

Celebrating my courage, not just outcomes

(Showing up is enough.)

Asking, “Would I still be proud of this if no one noticed?”

(If yes, then that’s enough.)

💬 Final Words: Rejection Isn’t the End

If you’re in the middle of a rejection right now,

I won’t tell you to “just be positive.”

Feel it.

Grieve it.

Be honest about the sting.

But then—come back to yourself.

Remember that you existed before that “no.”

You’ll exist after it.

And your worth was never up for debate.

Rejection may close one door,

but self-approval opens a thousand others—

each one leading you back home to who you truly are.

You are not for everyone.

And that’s your power.

Not your problem.