How does a person end up wasting away?

How does a person end up wasting away?

There are many different answers: laziness, procrastination, indulging in fantasies, avoiding problems, being content in their comfort zone, refusing to learn and think deeply, staying up late, being obsessed with games, excessive consumption and eating, excessive alcohol consumption, and more.

Each of these reasons is valid, but in reality, there is a common pattern behind these seemingly different answers: getting addicted to short-term pleasure and being unable to break free from it.

The more meaningful things in life often have a long feedback cycle, and their effects are not immediately apparent.

For example, reading, learning, writing, maintaining a regular sleep schedule, and adopting a healthy diet. Merely doing them a few times will not yield significant results. They require long-term perseverance, as the benefits accumulate and compound over time, leading to ultimate growth.

But what about activities like binge-watching TV shows, reading Mary Sue novels, staying up late playing games, overeating, excessive alcohol consumption, chasing temporary trends, and indulging in fantasies?

These activities have short feedback cycles, providing instant gratification without the need for patience. Although this pleasure is fleeting and quickly dissipates, as long as we engage in these behaviors, we can immediately satisfy ourselves.

Consequently, to prolong the present pleasure, we continuously repeat these actions, eventually forming stable habits with negative consequences.

A person who has wasted away doesn't necessarily give up without a fight. They may even make plans and set goals to try to break these bad habits. However, when they attempt to do so, they face fierce resistance from these habits. Ultimately, the more they resist, the more they lose control and sink deeper.

While the bad habits that gradually lead people to waste away may appear different on the surface, their essence is the same: being addicted to short-term gratification and lacking the willingness to make long-term commitments.

There's an interesting joke that goes: "If you consistently prioritize early bedtime, hard work, exercise, and reading and avoid mindlessly browsing social media or reading brainless online novels, you'll soon find yourself at odds with those around you, as they will see you as an anomaly."

Although it is a humorous remark, it reflects an undeniable truth.

Take a look at yourself or the people around you, and you'll notice that apart from work, sleep, and meals, most of our time is spent scrolling through TikToks, watching videos, binge-watching TV shows, reading online novels, watching live streams, playing games, shopping online, dining out, and taking photos for social media check-ins.

Engaging in these activities doesn't require much mental effort, yet they provide instant pleasure for our senses. While you happily hold your phone, they sneakily steal away large chunks of your time. They even invade your attention when you should be sleeping or focusing on serious work.

In the book "The Willpower Instinct," it is said, "Neuroscientists believe that we have only one brain, but we have two minds. Or you can say that we have two selves within our heads. One is impulsive and seeks immediate pleasure. The other overcomes impulses and thinks long-term."

Every day, these two selves within us engage in a fierce battle—a battle between impulse and reason.

They are like two little beings. When you see the latest smartphone, your impulsive self will scream, "Buy it! Hurry and buy it! It's not expensive at all, and you can pay in installments. It's the latest model, and you can show it off. Your classmates and friends will envy you. You'll be the coolest guy in town!"

But at the same time, your rational self will tell you, "Don't be impulsive. You just bought a phone last year; there's no need to buy the latest one. Many of its features are unnecessary. You already have enough monthly payments to make; don't overdraft your credit card!"

In this inner conflict, your mind becomes chaotic. They are like contestants in a ring. If your impulsive self wins, you succumb to temptation and choose to overspend on your credit card to buy the phone. If the rational self wins, you can suppress the desire for impulsive spending and vanity.

However, defeating the impulsive self requires strength. The rational self requires a significant amount of willpower. Once there's a problem with the supply of willpower, the impulsive self gains the upper hand.

After all, the biggest advantage of the impulsive self is not only its minimal drain on willpower but also its skill in pleasing the brain and being likable, solely concerned with immediate happiness and disregarding the future.

When you're angry, it tells you, "Vent your anger, curse if you want to, and express all your frustration!"

When you want to play games, it tells you, "Play as long as you want. Playing games is fun and thrilling! You don't have to worry about homework or work; you can deal with them tomorrow!"

When you're unhappy, it tells you, "Spend money, indulge in desserts, or have a wild night out!"

The rational self, on the other hand, is different. It is always serious, calmly dismantling your lies and excuses and speaking uncomfortable truths. It never flatters or seeks to please.

Deep down, we know what is right, but emotionally, we prefer our impulsive self. The practice of self-discipline involves recognizing these two selves, not blindly indulging the impulsive self, finding ways to conserve and replenish willpower, and allowing the rational self to function properly.

Indulging in short-term pleasures and being too lazy to make long-term investments is a dangerous thing. In the short term, you may not realize the harm it can cause you. This way of life may even give you the false sense that "I am happy and fulfilled right now."

But if you let yourself be manipulated by impulsive desires and only seek pleasure through the simplest, quickest, and most direct ways, without the willingness or ability to think it through and lacking the patience to invest time and energy in something meaningful, then you will narrow your own path and be destined to be eliminated.

This problem is easy to understand.

Deep down, each of us knows very well how to make our lives better—by learning!

Even if you are already working, as long as you are willing to learn, you can improve your education, participate in qualifications and exams related to your work, and enhance your job skills, making yourself more and more valuable in the workplace.

Everyone knows why, but most people are not willing to do it. In other words, they would rather suffer at work and live in poverty than sit at the desk, memorize and practice, and endure the hardships of learning.

Why is that? It's because when we suffer at work and experience hardships in life, we pick up our phones, watch a few short videos, have a good laugh, indulge in eating junk food to satisfy our hunger, play games, and mindlessly scroll through videos.

We don't need to use our brains, engage in deep thinking, or exert any willpower. With a simple swipe of our fingers, happiness comes easily, quickly, and effortlessly.

On the other hand, studying and practicing, like memorizing and solving problems, is not something that brings instant gratification.

It requires long-term perseverance, forcing yourself to sit every day, engaging your mind, and enduring the anxiety of the unknown. Only through continuous accumulation and qualitative growth can you achieve a significant breakthrough.

One is about instant gratification without much effort, and the other is about long-term, continuous effort and accumulation. If you were faced with this choice, how would you choose?

Everything that caters to human nature has the potential to be a trap.

In the book "Globalization Trap," Brzezinski introduces the theory of "pacifier pleasure."

Products such as the internet, television, and games can be categorized into two types: gratifying entertainment and cathartic entertainment. The former provides what you like, while the latter offers stimulation based on your preferences.

They are like pacifiers for babies, capable of diverting attention and negative emotions. This simple and easy happiness makes it effortless to become immersed in them. Over time, abilities like deep thinking, execution, problem-solving, and more begin to decline, gradually widening the gap between individuals.

In the show "Roundtable," Dou Wentao expressed concerns that modern TV dramas are becoming increasingly straightforward and easily understandable. People have become accustomed to comprehending the simplest content and are reluctant to engage their minds with anything slightly more complex.

By allowing ourselves to indulge in these shallow pleasures that have low costs but provide quick returns, we not only waste time but also run the risk of becoming like a frog slowly boiled in warm water. Furthermore, we can become addicted to these activities.

What used to bring happiness with just a game a day gradually turns into playing whenever there is free time, eventually reaching a point where it becomes the sole activity apart from sleeping.

Do not think that these things are distant from us. You may have already become addicted without even realizing it.

Speaking of myself, I used to have a strong affinity for purchasing various electronic products such as cameras, lenses, and stabilizers. Whenever I saw the words "interest-free installments," I would feel that the item looked cool and useful, so why not buy it since it's interest-free?

In reality, I hardly used these devices in my daily life, and there was no real need for me to make those purchases. But I couldn't control myself. Did I truly dedicate myself to learning photography since I had all this equipment? No!

I have never seriously studied it from start to finish. Compared to investing significant time and effort into learning photography skills, I find more enjoyment in the fleeting moment of shopping because it is simpler and easier.

Over time, my bills grew longer, and it was then that I realized the severity of the problem.

Indulging in short-term pleasures and being unwilling to make long-term investments is dangerous for personal development. So how can we break this bad habit?

1. Break the loop.

According to author Charles Duhigg's book "The Power of Habit," a habit loop consists of three parts: cue, routine, and reward. The cue is similar to a switch. When we encounter the cue, we subconsciously associate it with the anticipated reward, prompting us to engage in habitual behavior.

For example, when it comes to gaming, we discover that using a mobile phone to play games helps us forget our problems and provides excitement. After a while, simply seeing the phone or game icon becomes a cue, triggering anticipation in our brains for that exhilarating and pleasurable experience. As a result, we can't resist picking up the phone and playing.

What we desire is not the behavior itself, but the reward behind it. It's not the game itself that we enjoy, but rather the pleasure it brings.

Once we understand these dynamics, addressing the issue becomes more manageable.

Let me share my own experience as an example. I used to have a strong inclination to play games on my phone before going to sleep, spending several hours on it. Consequently, I would sleep late, around one or two in the morning, and struggle to wake up the next day, feeling groggy throughout.

So, how can we change this habit? The first step is to identify the loop of this bad habit. The cue is the feeling of boredom while lying in bed before sleep, seeking a way to pass the time. The action is playing games on the phone. And the reward is the pleasure derived from killing zombies.

Once we understand these components, we can break the loop of this bad habit. Whenever the cue to pass time before sleep arises, I simply leave my phone in the living room. This directly breaks the loop of the old habit.

Furthermore, we can establish a new habit loop based on this. Since there is a desire to pass the time and entertain oneself before sleep, we can find some books that we enjoy and place them by the bedside. This way, when going to sleep, we can flip through the books, and soon we'll feel drowsy.

For a while, I developed a keen interest in psychology and bought some books on the subject. When it was time to sleep, I would leave my phone in the living room, slip under the covers, and grab a book. Let me tell you, reading is the best hypnotic tool. I would feel sleepy after reading just a couple of pages, and then I would turn off the lights and go to sleep.

The next morning, I would wake up naturally, full of energy for the whole day.

So, quitting bad habits is not difficult. First, find the habit loop, and then find a way to break it.

2. Start small and guide yourself to complete a "low instant return value, high-value long term investment" activity from start to finish.

As mentioned earlier, truly useful and meaningful things require long-term accumulation to see results. For example, reading, exercise, writing, and so on.

The individual advantages from each of these sessions may be modest, but with regular, long-term practice, there may be substantial rewards.

It's unlikely that we will have the patience to see these activities through from beginning to end all at once. But we can start small and gradually guide and encourage ourselves.

For instance, in a TED talk titled "Try Something New for 30 Days," the speaker Matt shared his own experience. He challenged himself to take a photo every day for the next 30 days. This was an easy habit to maintain, so he actively took a photo every day. After 30 days, he realized he had developed a genuine love for photography.

Instead of always setting grand goals, start with inconspicuous tasks. The key is to guide and encourage yourself to persist in something consistently rather than trying to accomplish a multitude of tasks within a day.

Friends, stop obsessing over short-term returns. Don't waste your time indulging in superficial pleasures.

Starting now, find something meaningful and set an extremely low goal for yourself. Even if it's just memorizing one word a day or practicing writing one character, commit to completing this inconspicuous task every day. It will reward you with a wonderful gift in the future!

I hope today's message inspires you. Feel free to follow, comment, and share. I heard that by following and retweeting me, both your abilities and income will soar!