How a little black Moleskine book made me the hero of my life.

A little black book...hmm, what does that bring to mind? Mystery, intrigue, the mundane, just something to jot down notes and reminders, excitement, possibilities, a diary, or if you were a teenage boy in my era, it was where you kept the names and numbers of all the girls you wanted to date.

I hadn't thought of a little black book since high school. So, at 63 years old, I was amazed when walking to work one spring day, there it was, as plain as day, in the middle of the sidewalk. Nobody seemed to notice it but me. The noisy sidewalk was crowded with people heading on their way. Preoccupied mothers taking their youngsters to school, business men and women in their high power suits and spiffy shoes, their faces focused only on their cell phones. They were joined by laughing teenage girls cracking jokes about how silly the boys were. Teenage boys trying to look so cool while making wolf whistles at the nearby girls. Just an ordinary morning in small-town Canada.

But it wasn't ordinary at all. Amidst all the hustle and bustle, the noises and the smells, time seemed to slow to a crawl and there it was, this small black notebook. It seemed to shimmer and vibrate with an energy I had never witnessed before. I noticed it from ten feet away, just ignoring it at first. With each step I took, the book called to me, not in a voice so much, but just a calling, an insistent calling. Have you ever been drawn to something like that?

I shook my head and thought, don't be silly, a book can't call you. I looked away and tried to ignore it, but I couldn't. Time slowed even more. This is impossible...isn't it? I was stunned by my hesitancy. I am normally brave and adventurous. But something, a fear perhaps, made me consciously fight the overwhelming urge to run and scoop it up. What was I afraid of? Why wasn't I following my natural curiosity? What if it was important to someone? Shouldn't I try and return it to its owner? It seemed that no-one else noticed it. A little girl with the most beautiful auburn ringlets even almost tripped over it, kicking it a few feet further away as her mom impatiently dragged her along.

There it sat, just drawing me in. What if it was there for me? Then my fear was replaced by this incredible urge to rush up and grab it before anyone else could snatch it away. "Wait a minute" my mind screamed. "This is simply ridiculous! It's just a notebook that someone dropped, it can't be there for me."

But no one else paid it any mind and both the seductive call and the trepidation continued in waves. Could the siren's song that lured ancient sailors to their deaths at the bottom of the ocean have felt like this to those unfortunate mariners? This pull, this magnetism, this urge was so powerful. I felt I just had to answer it.

Whoa. What? Here was the fear again. One minute I was ready to rush right in to scoop it up and the next I was going into a full-blown panic attack about the horrors I might experience if I even touched it.

By now, only a few seconds had passed, but it felt like an eternity. This can't be real. Have I slipped into an alternate reality? Books don't call you, they don't consume you, they can't slow time. Or can they? How can a simple little black notebook take me from excitement about the unknown to absolute terror? My mind must be playing tricks on me.

Then I had it! This must be a dream. In dreams, I am invincible, I can be, do or have, anything I want. So what do I want? That settled it. I'm safe in my dream so I can just walk right up to this shimmering illusion and end this roller coaster ride of uncertainty. Wow, here I am, superwoman, a brave adventurer beyond compare! I'm going for it. I just have to touch it in my own hands, I just have to know what it feels like to sense it in my fingers, to smell it, to examine it's every minute detail.

Now that I have it, I savor every delicious sensation. I open it, looking for clues of who could have dropped it. To my surprise, I find no writing at all, but in the middle is a small bundle of $1,000 bills. I look around, shocked and amazed. The fact that no one seems to notice me, is as incredible as what I have discovered. I quickly slam the book closed and rush to the nearest coffee shop to collect my thoughts and calm my raging mind.

Sipping my Earl Grey tea, I take a few deep breaths and slowly open the book again, checking to see that I'm not delusional. But there they are, 20 clean crisp bills. $20,000! Hidden under the money, written in beautiful flowing penmanship is a note saying "To whomever this book has called, this gift is for you to enjoy in whatever way you desire."

I sit there and let it all soak in. I get to enjoy this money in whatever way I desire! When is the last time I even thought of my desires? It had been so long. It seems that all my life, I've put other people's needs above my own. Now, I have been invited to step out into unknown territory. At first it is a shock to my system. What do I desire? The question bumps and rattles in my brain, without answer for a long time, an eternity it seems.

I am forced to face my own sense of self worth. Am I daring enough to be selfish? Is looking after myself even a selfish act, or is it one of great compassion and self love? Ohh, self love, I like that. I'm going with self love.

Finally, I know exactly what to do with this Godsend. I now know why the little black book was relentlessly calling me. I'm so grateful, for the money and for all that I learned about me.

You may wonder how I will spend this money, but I'm not going to share that with you. I will say that I will revel in spending it, so intentionally, so consciously and so deliciously on me. Exactly how I plan on spoiling myself is a miniscule blessing compared to the bigger lessons I gleaned from this experience.

I now have a newfound awareness that I deserve to treat myself as well as I treat others. I finally understand that I can't add to anyone else, if my cup is empty and that my first responsibility is to enjoy and honor myself. I'm so thankful for being reminded of my curiosity and my bravery. Most of all, I'm grateful for stepping into the safe space of trusting my own intuition.

This journey is a sign that my future is truly abundant and limitless, if only I have the audacity to reach out and grab it....and I will! I will be the hero of my own story.

Now that you have heard my story, what will you dare to do today? Will you dare to become your own hero? Or will you shirk away, shrink up and become the victim of your life?

The choice is yours alone, it always has been. In all this world, you are unique. You are the only you to have ever lived and there will never be another one just like you.

I invite you to be creative, dream big, bold, audacious dreams and find your own adventures and extraordinary journeys, whatever they may be. I invite you to step into the unknown and be your own hero!