Hobby after all

I found interest in my hobby during one of the darkest times of my life. In 2016 I was doing the best I have done in my life. I’m an admitted slacker. And for many years I just coasted through life working at different factories packing foods or cutting nylon with shears. I can say I have probably had thirty-five jobs since the age of 16. I could never quite find my niche. But after toiling through many different careers I finally found it. I was an IT technician travelling from site to site installing hardware and software for a major insurance company.

I was great at my job. And this was truly one of the happiest times of my life. I felt so fulfilled. I took great pride in what I did so much so I was offered a position at the company headquarters to train other technicians. I worked five days a week twelve hours a day and it seemed, because I was happy and loved what I did, the time didn’t bother me. I was energized and ready to go every day.

As I continued to work my assignments based on a six months term. I noticed that at the end of my last term in year three I was always so tired. So, I went to the doctor only to discover that I was severely anemic. No big deal I thought so I took meds and continued to work. On the last day if my work assignment I got a call from my doctor saying. Ms. Marshall your blood work came in and you have cancer.

This call was nothing like what you see on T.V. There was no dramatic pause no crying family members or a sympathetic nurse in the background. It was just me and my tool kit in a strip mall parking lot fifty miles from home. I’m 34 years old I thought and I’m dying. I called my boss and told her I may not be able to return for the next season of installs. Two weeks later I was getting a bone marrow biopsy. It was determined that I had Multiple Myeloma an incurable blood cancer. And that sixty percent of my bone marrow was cancerous I had a stem cell transplant and was in remission for a month before the cancer returned full force. Its five years later and I am still fighting.

I learned a lot about myself during this ordeal. One of the things I learned is to not deny my talents. But to use them to make other people happy. I found a passion for cooking. But fell in love with baking. The first time my scissors were used to cut my piping bag open it was like magic. The simplest incision changed the texture and appearance of the icing I was using.

I found a replacement for my sorrows and gained peace in simply mixing cake mix. It seemed as if everything in my life was in a shambles. But the anxiety I faced was dramatically lessened by the calculation and measuring of ingredients. The simple cutting of my piping bags used just to transform the normal into something spectacular was amazing to me. I found myself watching YouTube videos just to find out how to perfect piping. Needless to say, I haven’t yet but I am good at what I can do.

If asked where my inspiration for baking has come from, I guess I would say my inspiration for baking stems from the ugliness that having a terminal disease can bring. Everyone is born with an expiration date. You tend to take that for granted unless it’s pointed out to you. When faced with the reality of mortality the small things really begin to matter. When I’m feeling pain or start to get depressed, I bake. I like the thought that the things I make and decorate bring joy to others. That in itself is enough to keep me going. I