Hello, 2021

Dear 2020, you were a hell of a year for everyone. You were a hot mess so to speak. I think I would like to speak for everyone, that we are glad that you are gone. I know that there was a lot of good things that happened for some people. For me, I ended up having a beautiful baby boy. However for others, many lives was taken due to the covid virus worldwide. I know this is about starting a new beginning due to a new year. Just a quick thought, 2020 has made us be thankful for everything that we have due to losing things. We begin to realize to be thankful for things around us as well. It has made us think of things we don’t really want to think of, such suicide, running away, learning who true friends are, etc. So with respect 2020, goodbye!

Hello 2021! You are a fresh breath of air into this time of need. I know that we do New Year resolutions and I didn’t make any this year. I felt like if I need to wait to start at the beginning of the year, to work better on myself it wasn’t worth it. However, I feel like I would like to get myself into a better shape for my kids. I always say this every year, “I’ll go get a gym membership and work my ass off.” I go for about two to three months, then right back in my old habits again. So this time, I’m doing this for me not my kids. I have to want this for me, or I won’t keep up with it. I have started since I was pregnant last year, to cut sodas. Well I did for the most part, until I gave birth. I have cut down to one a day, which is a major accomplishment for me. I used to drink at least four to five a day!

My second goal would be to focus on my family. I know this seems an odd way to put this. I have two kids from my husband previous marriage. They are awesome boys, eleven and nine. They have done nothing but help us with their new baby brother into the world. I am beyond blessed that’s for sure. I know I have many thoughts bringing a child into this world, the way it is now. I was terrified about it all, still am. I just want to make sure that all three kids feel like they are equal, and their love is not overpowering each other. I know that the boys are happy with baby brother, but I just want them to know that we still love them. I know they know that, we have discuss that with them. It’s just a mother’s worry that I will think about it.

My last goal for this year would be take care of myself. Last year, while I was pregnant all I did was worry about what to eat, sleep, and how I did things. I was very precaution of my baby, due he was truly a miracle. I was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome at a very young age. They told me that it’s a possibility that I couldn’t get pregnant. A lot of women do not know they have this disorder. It is more common than what people think. I continued to be optimistic to have that chance. Around June, that’s when we found out that I was pregnant. We were in awe that we could have a chance. So of course, it was a change that we were happy, but I had to watch everything not to get stress on top of that. It was a rough third trimester, I have written a story on that. This year, I want to make sure that I don’t have to worry like I did with my body changing so much.

The best way for me to accomplish these goals, is to stay optimistic and ask for help during this. I know that’s the hardest thing to do for anyone is to ask for help. If I don’t get these goals hit, it’s okay knowing I tried to hit them makes me happy. I know that I’ll be okay and that I’ll have fun doing these goals. I know I’ll be making memories with my family, working on my health and my mental health. It’s the effort that I’ll be putting in counts. I hope that everyone has at least some type of goals that they want to better themselves, in some sort of ways. Hello 2021, let’s kick this year’s ass.