Healing is Mandatory

How many times has he broken your heart and left you for someone else that had certain qualities you didn't have. How many scars and black eyes can you handle?

How many times are you going to let her get away with cheating and taking advantage of your loyalty? How many times has she said "I love you" but her actions didn't match up to her words.

Where does the line draw?

How are you still not fed up with the lies, the broken promises, the cheating, constant arguing, the abuse and the dishonesty?

When do you all of a sudden get to a point of 'my self-worth and value is no longer compromised' by this person no more?

Have you had enough of enough?

Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired?

Are you tired of me asking these questions?

....Well if you are, then good, you should be sick and tired of not being treated like you should.

If your not sick of my endless string of questions then this story could be for you if you are currently in a season of hurt and are trying to heal.

This is not to exploit anybody, this is only to make you realize the importance of self-healing and to be real with yourself.

These questions are the questions that you need to be asking yourself.

This ties to mostly everybody, the people who you see that make it seem like they have it altogether and go the extra mile to cover up wounds are the people who are hurting the most.

No matter your circumstance or upbringing, all of us at one point or another have endured years of ongoing emotional trauma that stemmed from our childhood and we have not recovered from it yet.

Some folks will outright avoid looking into it and become almost numb to their pain.

In the short-term numbing can work but in the long-term your past will always come back to haunt you.

We carry so much baggage through flights, taxi's, and into our new home but we don't make the conscious effort to unpack everything.

We know we have a problem but we rather put everything else out to the forefront and put our healing to the back burner.

But we rather look and be strong, self-righteous, cynical and too vague 24/7 than to admit momentary weakness and vulnerability and open the door for much needed help.

So when you finally made the decision to get out of that toxic relationship, one of the common mistakes people often make is reentering the dating world.

What happens is, you rush the healing process by trying to replace the missing void from your ex and you lock in with somebody and you probably don't realize it but your pain now carries on into the new relationship.

Without doing the proper work on self, you risk creating more pain onto yourself by comparing your ex to your current hubby and then put him or her in a awkward position.

All your doing is spreading toxicity in the relationship based off how your ex treated you, so by design whether you mean to or not, you are now mirroring your ex's behavior by inflicting more hurt onto somebody that genuinely loved you.

The truth is dude, whatever happened between you and Sarah from 5 years ago, in no shape or form should it never come in between you and the woman that is the mother of your children or only giving 50% while she gives 110%.

The dynamic of an emotionally scarred male or female being with their spouse that already put their past behind them is off balanced.

You should never date anybody without 1st taking a selfish season, the worst thing you could do is not give yourself the essential time to heal all wounds.

The first step of healing is becoming aware.

To know that I allowed myself for this person to treat me this way and abuse me.

To know that I need to take a break from mingling and have the time to work on myself.

And if I don't heal then all my next relations will suffer from my pain.

The second step is taking accountability for what happened.

It's easy to blame everyone else for how poorly they treated you but its not always their fault.

Your only treated a certain way based off how much you tolerate from that person.

You protect yourself by setting boundaries and being honest about what you expect from this relationship from the jump.

The last step to healing I believe is examination.

Examining feelings, thoughts and emotions is so crucial to the healing process, simply just forgetting about your ex in a day after the hard break up is not going to happen.

Healing is not overnight or some magic pill you take and poof! - you finally recovered and "back and ready to tackle the world again" not so fast, now healing can be a very healthy thing for the soul but expect to run into some speed bumps along the way.

As you continue to examine the severity of your broken spirit and shattered heart, just know that you will endure a tough season of reliving the bad times and have days where you don't wanna leave your bed.

Coming to terms in your mind that what happened to me is not going to define my next partnership. This bad season is only temporary and once you applied awareness, accountability and examination to where you were at, the healing becomes that much easier on you.

No longer ignore what healing can do for you if you just put away pride and ego and make it mandatory in your journey.

A broken heart can never love, it will only break more hearts.

Thanks for reading!

We all need to heal so we can reach our fullest potential.

Please leave a tip and a heart, much appreciated.