Fighting Seasonal Affective Disorder

Enjoying: Seasonal Depression — I Have No Desire to Pray or Do the Things I Love to Do. Why? by Velvetstar64

Seasonal Depression — I Have No Desire to Pray or Do the Things I Love to Do. Why?

These words pulled my heartstrings.

George asked for prayer as he came on the prayer line at five one morning. I have not come out of my bed for almost three days, he stated. I have no desire to pray, read my Bible, or get up. I feel tired and have noticed changes in my energy, including significant fatigue and low energy. I have no desire to leave my home or go to work. I do not want to be around anyone and want to stay in the dark room. Velvetstar64

I had this feeling of mountainous fatigue at certain times of the year while living in New York.

Seasonal Affective Disorder is classified as a subtype of major depression with a seasonal pattern. While many people may experience temporary mood changes as the seasons shift, SAD is a more persistent and impactful condition. Symptoms typically start in autumn and continue through the winter, subsiding in spring or early summer, though some people may experience a reverse pattern, feeling symptoms during the spring and summer months.

Seasonal Affective Disorder: Symptoms, Causes, and Understanding

https://www.hearthjunction.com/health-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder-symptoms-causes/?

Despite growing up in a poor country with limited resources and being hungry all the time. Even with scarce opportunities and hopelessness, I was so busy fighting life that I didn’t have the time to be depressed, no matter the season.

Living in NY, as Fall approaches and the sun rests, or takes a vacation, or takes a long lunch or breakfast break, my mood, attitude, and emotional feelings begin to change. Why was the sun hiding from me? I took this personally. In my home country, where we have to fight poverty daily, the sun never hides. We could rely on it to show up daily. Some days it takes breaks, but it always returns.

I couldn’t understand how a small seasonal change could have such a powerful impact on my emotions. I wasn’t aware of the Sun’s value and importance to our lives and living. Growing up in the Caribbean, it was impossible not to be mindful of climate change. It was hard not to notice that there had been no sun for days, and it gets dark before five PM.

I don’t like the darkness when it should be daytime. How can it be dark before 5 PM?

I ignored it, adjusted and adapted from my survival instincts, because when you are fighting poverty and life, the little things are unimportant. They are pushed aside for months, and by the time you slow down, Winter is over, Spring steals in, and you feel better until Fall a few months later.

This was an ongoing cycle that disrupts life for many people. As fighters, many of us fight it and live until it demands our personal attention.

As we age, the changes caused by Seasonal Affective Disorder, a.k.a. SAD, are more complex to cope with. Aging slows us down, and life pains begin to add up. The feelings of Seasonal Depression refuse to leave. It moves into our home, demands a say in our actions, choices, decisions, and intentions. It seeps into our hearts, minds, and souls, influencing our feelings, likes, and dislikes. It became like salt, sugar, and water, becoming part of everything we do and say. It has become a dangerous part of our health and life now.

It really began to hurt, forcing us to give it the attention it’s been demanding ten, twenty, or more years later.

For me, I fight like hell not to bend to its will. It’s not easy because it shuts my body and mind down. I hate the cold, so I feel everything to the nth degree. No matter how warmly I dress, the cold seeps deep into my body, mind, heart, and soul, along with sadness that hurts and then tries to slow me down. I must find a way to stop it without medications, because I feel everything with Seasonal Depression. That’s when it became unbearable.

I dug deep within me to find my best solution.

I realized that I had been living my best solution.

I move by Will, never by strength. My Will is stronger than I. If it must be done, it will be done, regardless of SAD, snow, sleet, or rain. Life didn’t give some of us a choice. It didn’t give me one. What must be done in my life will be done no matter how I feel. My personal feelings are never allowed to get in the way of what is right.

This action has consequences; I pay. That’s life.

It takes more than SAD to stop me. #Iintend2Survive no matter what.

Life is a fight for all of us, but we can’t give up!