Facing the Inferno

"In the middle of the journey of our life I found myself within a dark woods where the straight way was lost." Dante Alighieri, Inferno.

I had a nightmare last night that I was chained to a giant boulder in the center of my city. I feel the cutting weight of jagged lead cuffs dig into my wrists and ankles. With every motion they dig deeper into my flesh as I remain a prisoner of hopelessness staring at the blood soaked concrete where I remained. All around me are people passing me by oblivious to the pain, and shame I feel. I'm not looking for a savior either, my pride will not allow me. I know better to rely on people as I wrestle with my own strength to free myself, yet no matter what I do I remain powerless. But then I see fire igniting spontaineously consuming everyone around me. The screams of agony still haunt me as I witness the painful deaths of men, women and children.

My whole body is trembling in remorse and I'm shouting, "Save them! Please God, won't someone save them?!" My heart is broken beyond repair witnessing the ash that was once a mother, a father, a brother, a sister, a son, and a daughter. But it gets worse, I see everyone I failed as a lover, as a friend, as my family in the distance rushing to my aid. I'm in frenzy screaming so loud my vocal cords hurt, "Get back! Stay away! For love of God save yourselves!" Time freezes and I struggle to break these chains. Pain doesn't matter anymore, I scream, "I don't care if fighting with these chains tears me apart. Take me instead of them!"

The inferno is merciless and one by one I see all that I love turn to ash before my eyes. There is no sound of life, only the crackling flames of death from a world on fire and my heart beating angrily to the silence. You would have to be in my nightmare to hear my screams of anguish, to feel me. But I will tell you it's possible to be alive and dead at the same time to experience this vision. I also wonder and feel for anyone who knows this pain. Nothing is impossible in a nightmare. With nothing left to lose I find the strength to surpass my limitations only to drag that giant boulder across the pavement to hold the ashes of my mistakes wishing I could rewrite fate.

I wake in a cold sweat, my throat sore from shouting in my sleep and my bible is alongside me on my bedside table and I turn to the scripture that first spoke to me, from Apostle Paul

2 Corinthians 11:1-7 " I hope you will put up with me in a little foolishness. Yes, please put up with Me. But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ. For if someone comes to you and preaches a Jesus other than the Jesus we preached, or if you receive a different spirit from the spirit you received, or a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it easily enough. I do not think I am in the least inferior to those "Super-apostles." I may indeed be untrained as a speaker but I do have knowledge. We have made this perfectly clear to you in every way. Was it a sin for me to lower myself in order to elevate you by preaching the gospel of God to you free of charge?"Skipping ahead in 2 Corinthinas 11:30, "If I must boast let me boast of my weaknesses."

The hardest part about faith is admitting your at fault for lack of it with yourself and within people you care for and most importantly to have faith in something greater than yourself that is God.

1 John 4:18 This is how love is made complete among us so that we we will have confidence on the day of judgement: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, beacause fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

Who has the authority to condemn anyone to hell? Jesus died to for the belief as long as we live and breathe we can devote ourselves and find redemption in life. The scales we are judged by are measured in heart. Dante Alighieri wrote an epic poem "The Divine Comedy," which comprises of stories in sections representing the three tiers of the Christian afterlife: Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven. To paraphrase Dante fell in love with his beloved Beatrice at the age of nine years old. As the years pass Beatrice dies at the age of twenty four and Dante is consumed with sorrow losing his beloved he descends on a journey through the Inferno, Purgatory and Paradise. In inferno Dante descends to hell to learn to love again by the most extremes examples of misdirected love. There is nothing more harmful than the heart consumed with misdirection and selfishness.

All my life I've been searching for love in all the wrong the places. I thought being a charmer, I thought being successful meant the world but no matter what I did or the achievements I strived for and accomplished would be empty without the salvation of my loved ones. There is always a void that can only be filled by the divine or as we would call it the God void. If you were to look at Dante's quote, ""In the middle of the journey of our life I found myself within a dark woods where the straight way was lost." Sometimes in the midst of our struggles, and our failures of our past, distractions in the world cloud our growth. The dark we path we take after such turmoil we search for an understanding that takes us on a journey the deeper meaning of our sufferings. Sometimes we seek things to glorify ourselves to hide the pain but in seeking something more than our desires you will see there's more to life than building a moutain to stand on because success isn't being at the top alone it's loving and saving all around you and overcoming the things holding you back. At the top of the mountain there is God. Not man or selfish desires. There is self sacrafice that doesn't exclude anyone for the glory God has in store for us. Jesus died for the homeless man on the corner, the addict who has lost everything, the wandering and lost. His last statement is that everyone is capable of salvation and being the hero this world is missing. All they have to do is embrace a higher power beyond suffering, and selfish intent.

"And Now These Three Remain Faith, Hope and Love. But the Greatest of These is Love" I Cofinthians 13:13

Faith that there is purpose for everything. Hope that there is a brighter future through experience. Love to share to the world to change it.