Easy Disconnect - Hardship Reconnects

This giant tree has roots above and below ground and will continue to survive for years.

The hibiscus and butterfly will live only for a few days.

Easy is fragile and has no roots to sustain it. - Annelise Lords

Watching the sun set on a hot post-summer day.

A voice nearby interrupted my focus, "You don't look happy, Marv. What's eating you lately?"

My instincts followed the voice, and I saw two elderly females, sadness pouring from their hearts, through the pain and agony on their faces.

"I raised four children, giving them the life I didn't have. Two forget where they came from. Two didn't," she complained.

"You are not the only one enduring this," her friend said, reaching over to hug her, as her personal experience with her children living in the US was similar. 

"But how could they forget their roots?" Marv demands, slowly easing from her embrace.

Image by Annelise Lords "Because many parents like us make it too easy for them," her friend elaborates in reflection.

"How did we?" Marv's pain and regret asked. "All we wanted was the best for them."

"We plant their lives in a pot, protecting them from life and its lessons," she relates, battling with her tears. 

"You are right," Marv agreed. "Our lives weren't in a pot, so our roots were allowed freedom to roam, spread, and learn from life and its challenges. Nothing could stop us as we break rules and laws to ensure that their lives are better than ours."

"That was our mistake," her friend suggested.

"What mistakes do mothers make by wanting a better life for their children?" Marv demands.

"We overprotect them from the challenges that strengthened us and make us who we are," her friend counselled. "We deny the opportunities to learn certain necessities from life by putting boundaries on their roots."

"But we must provide guidance," Marv stressed.

"Something went wrong, and mothers always take the blame," her friend admits.

"But the boys didn't forget where they came from," Marv informs.

"Because males will definitely have it harder than females. That's life."

"I don't understand," Marv said in tears.

"Your sons didn't change because they used their roots and what you and life taught them to live and survive in a different world in the US where they lived. Males do have it harder than females. So many realized that their roots are a vital tool. That's how your sons stay connected and can't forget it. Kind hearts don't forget who or what helped them in their time of need," her friend enlightened.

"So their roots became a trusted friend," dropped from Marv's thoughts. 

Nodding in shock and understanding with popped eyes, Marv continued, "So because the girls have it easier in the US, they didn't need their roots for strength to help them fight life or guide them. So that's how they became disconnected and forgot where they came from?"

Smiling, her friend explains, "Easy will disconnect, hardship will reconnect. Our past is our strength, because that's where history lives. Our past mistakes live there too. In the present, many of us are wiser, so with present wisdom and common sense, we go back to our roots to aid us in making better decisions."

"That's what my sons did," Marv said, smiling.

"Because life didn't give them a lot of choice. Their roots or failure. They chose well," she complimented Marv. 

"So, life gave my daughters a choice?" Marv asked, her face lines in curiosity.

"When life backs us into corners, some people take the best route out. Females will find a male to hand them their dreams on a platter. Others take the time to examine their options. Some go back into their past, taking a secure and sensible route that builds wisdom, resilience, strength, and an understanding of life and the challenges they are enduring," she counselled Marv.

Nodding in understanding, Marv relents, "I guess that's what we did. Hardship keeps us connected to where we come from because that's where knowledge, common sense, wisdom, love, and kindness exist, teaching us how to survive."

"While easy takes us where we want to go quickly, without the right resources or knowledge to keep us where we want to stay. There are no life lessons, strength, endurance, or anything valuable in easy," she continued to counsel Marv.

"So easy is tiny because it doesn't take much effort?"

"And hardship is enormous, because it demands effort, time, strength, knowledge, wisdom, common sense, empathy, compassion, sacrifices, love, kindness, discretion, and all of the tools needed to survive and live a damn good life, helping others in the process," her friend preached.

Unconsciously, I turned to both of them. They saw and smiled.

"Thank you," I said with gratitude. "Everything you said is true. Hardship tools keep us grounded and focused, allowing us to enjoy life after we've learned our lessons. It also shows us where we will end up when we forget our roots. That knowledge was earned through hardship's power and wisdom!"

Her friend eased over towards me and hugged me before I could stop her, then eased back and said, "Power to make decisions that will extend our roots for generations."

"Our roots are our strength!" We all sang. Marv glowed in happiness.

P.S. Our world is changing. Children are not only forgetting their roots, but they are also forgetting their elderly parents, who gave them life. 

Yes, Easy is a weapon that can destroy us. Hardship is the tool many of us use to build our lives, keeping us grounded and strong.

I don't like easy. When it comes my way, hell follows.

Thnak you for reading this piece. I hope you enjoyed it.