Do The One Thing You Want To Do In Life Before It's Too Late

I've been through a lot in my life.

Here is a list of some of the horrible things that have happened to me:

• I've been abused.
• I've been homeless.
• I've lost many people I love.
• I've been in a psychiatric hospital where I nearly died and couldn't remember who I was.
• I've lost my children twice to the system because of mental health and trauma.
• I've suffered constant bullying from my early childhood through to my young adulthood and partly through my older adulthood.
• I've suffered some horrible and painful violence.
• I felt I was a nobody for a long time and that my life wasn't worth living.

I spent many horrible, long years in this state.

I spent almost two decades of my life feeling incapable of achieving anything and thinking that the only way I could live was by depending on others to decide how my life should be rather than deciding on the one thing I wanted to do.

The reason is that I had let my trauma and all those people who inflicted it upon me condition me into living life their way.

Until the day I woke up and decided to take my life back.

Taking your life back when you have been conditioned into believing that you're only allowed to live by everyone else's rules is extremely difficult.

It isn't like in the movies where some lover comes to rescue the victim. It takes a lot of work and dedication on your part.

The first place I started was with DBT therapy.

I didn't want to do it at first, but I decided to try it because having someone to share my feelings with was better than suffering alone.

It didn't solve all of my problems, but it did help me to recognise that I was the boss of my own life and plan how to get where I wanted to be.

I learned:

• How to start valuing myself and my opinions
• How to stand up for myself and hold on to my truth
• Build my life worth living without anyone else conditioning me into living their life instead.
• Take better care of me.
• Talk about my feelings and accept my anger as valid while regulating my emotions.
• Plan my life goals and work out how to get there.

Not everyone will need therapy, and those who choose to do it might need a different kind of therapy from what I did.

You can explore yourself in other ways. I didn't always turn to therapy; I also wrote a life journal in which I wrote my dreams and aspirations, talked about my past and present, and where I would like to be.

There were times when I would go back into that dark tunnel, and during those times, I would intensify my self-care.

For me, self-care, wasn't always baths and showers or relaxation. Sometimes, it involved taking a mental break and doing something I enjoyed, such as reading. Some days, I spent time tidying and rearranging my room.

Self-care is doing anything that helps you to feel better.

One day, while journaling, I realized my life was full of to-do lists. There was no breathing space in there to think about me.

I seemed to be living my life pleasing everyone else but me.

I thought about this, and then I wrote the following sentence.

"Do the one thing you want to do in life before it's too late."

I wrote two things that I wanted to do more than anything else in the world.

Writing and singing.

I had to sacrifice a lot, which upset many people as I rearranged my routine to accommodate my life. To begin with, I was upset with myself for not meeting everyone else's needs.

I soon understood that my needs had to be met, too. I realized it was ok to take pleasure in doing things I wanted and that the people around me could care for themselves.

I had to learn to say 'no' to unnecessary demands, but the more I did it, the easier it became.

The result of my hard work is paying off.

I have freed up at least half of my day to practise singing and to write my stories.

The lesson I have learned is that if you spend your whole life pleasing everyone else all of the time, you will regret not doing the one thing in your life that you want to do.

We spend more of our time pleasing everyone but ourselves, yet our time is short, so please learn to do the one thing you love doing before it is too late.

You'll feel better for it!