Depression Knows Me! Does It Know You Too?

Depressive disorder (also known as depression) is a common mental disorder. It involves a depressed mood or loss of pleasure or interest in activities for long periods of time. Depression is different from regular mood changes and feelings about everyday life. Google

I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression more than twenty years ago. It visits when I am at my weakest point. When hell visits, it comes in beside it. It stays away when I am strong. So, to keep it away, I must remain strong.

Can anyone be always strong in a world raging in chaos and pain?

Studying myself, I can’t find a reason why I am depressed. But my pain sent me into another world. One where lies cannot enter, and the truth demands that we accept its reality and see life as it unfolds in every direction, no matter the pain. The thing about pain is that the moment we accept responsibility and learn from our mistakes, the life experiences that come our way, challenges that life and humans impose, or any circumstances that arise, or situations, the pain will evaporate.

The hard part is keeping the pain away. This takes a lot of effort, strength, and the fight to keep our sanity. Poverty weakens us, but hope, faith, love, kindness, understanding, and support can help. Every day, even the simplest effort, movement, thought, and thing is difficult for the depressed.

We desperately need someone to understand life, living, hell, and depression.

Depression begins with my reaction to humanity’s cruelty. It starts with my not setting boundaries. It begins with my heart, body, mind, and soul wanting a perfect world where no human suffers or is in pain. A world where tears follow joy. A kind world where no one harms children or each other. A world where humans and animals can survive without destroying each other. It begins with me using love to let humans hurt me, even when I forgive them for their wrongs. It starts with my silence about what is wrong and cruel. It starts with my ability to make kindness and love involuntary actions. My regrets help to feed depression, too.

But life shows me that when my actions, choices, decisions, and intentions are based on good reasons, regrets will stay away. It dictates that whatever I do, do it for a reason. A reason with kindness, love, empathy, compassion, understanding, wisdom, and common sense attached. I allow humans to give me reasons to do what my heart finds difficult. Yes, I think with my heart, I can’t be cruel, my heart won’t let me, and that’s one of the reasons why depression has become a frequent visitor.

It doesn’t fool with the cruel, hard, evil, vengeful or strong. It preys on the kind, gentle, meek, thoughtful, innocent, and anyone who wants to save the world. It confuses and harms hearts with good intentions for humanity.

Depression harms those with a conscience because our conscience demands that we take responsibility for everything that we do.

I am tired of fighting. I did all of the right things that God, the bible, life, and my conscience demand. I made sensible choices so that aging wouldn’t be a grave issue. I am in good health. I can pay my bills and feed myself. But still life hurts. I worked for a good life. Depression knows my name, my needs, and wants.

It needs to unknow me. I want depression not to know me forever.

I am aware that the fight will end with my death. But I do have days when I just wish I didn’t have to fight today.

Do you have to keep fighting life every day?

Do you have days when you want a break?

Can humans stop fighting life while they are alive?

Thank you for reading this piece. I hope you enjoyed it.