Dealing with depression and anxiety when you are alone

When you live alone and you are single, you most likely spend a lot of time on your own. After the pandemic, more and more people work from home. That can be a great thing in many ways. However, you also might find that you go long periods of time without talking to anyone. Or maybe you just go periods of the time without having any real conversation with anyone. If you are dealing with anxiety and/or depression, then it can be really hard to get through it when you are alone all the time. For me, it's a struggle at times to not let myself go deeper and deeper down in the hole.

While I do have a daughter, I don't have a partner that I live with. Being a single parent, can be an overwhelming thing at times. Just that alone is enough to spend anyone into depression. Then of course you add in work, daily task you need to do, taking care of your kids, helping other people and of course taking care of yourself. It's a lot for anyone, and so easy to be overwhelmed by it all. Sometimes, something has to give, and that usually is taking care of yourself.

I also feel like I need to have everything under control. Being a single parent is hard. It's easy to feel like you are being judged. So I know that, without knowing it, I also try to make sure it appears like I have everything under control, so people think I can be a single parent on my own. But sometimes, you just need someone to talk to, someone to say that you are having a rough time. And that is a hard thing to find nowadays, without someone trying to give you advice.

I work in retail, so I do talk to people all day. I also live with my daughter, but she is only 5, so conversation is limited. It can be lonely. Days flow together, and you find yourself just trying to get by sometimes. When work is a lot, I find that I feel my anxiety peaking. For me, that means I shut down a little bit more. I'm not an overly open person about what is really going on with me, so when I feel anxiety, I only shut down more. I was starting to realize that I was headed into a negative space, or even that I just could go into a negative space. But I was determined for that not to happen to me.

Here are some tips on things that I have done to help me combat depression and anxiety on my own.

Cut down the time that you spend on your phone. While I understand how easy it is to scroll endlessly, it can actually hurt you so much more. You waste so much time doing nothing. There is a difference between doing something mindless for a while, and wasting time. It also can greatly affect your emotional and mental state. So give yourself a time limit, maybe only 20 minutes. A little bit of time can give you joy, after a while it becomes toxic. If you do it all the time, then possibly you need to do a social media detox and cut yourself off. Even if it is only for 30 days, or even a week. You will be surprised how much it can improve your mental health, when you need to find other ways to fill your time.

Get your health on track. That can be very different things for so many people. But make sure that you are taking care of your health. Eat healthy, or even just healthier. Maybe you need to eat regularly. Get your body moving. Make sure that you move every day. If you don't work out often, then don't go too crazy. Start small, if that is easier for you. But make sure that it is something that you can stick to. Whatever it is that you need to work on, just get yourself on a plan. Taking care of your physical health, does wonders for mental health and attitude overall.

Take care of yourself. I know that it's easy to forget about taking care of yourself. You get busy taking care of everyone else, and forgot about yourself. Make sure that you do one self-care thing every day. It can be something as simple as reading in silence for a few minutes, doing a face mask or taking a bath. Just make sure that do something for yourself, and only for yourself.

Make a plan for whatever brings you stress or anxiety. If you don't have a plan to overcome something, it can bring you a lot of stress thinking about how you are going to get through it. Maybe it's money, how you are going to pay your debt, pay your bills and save money. But stressing about it, is not going to make it better. So get yourself a plan. If you are stressed about money, get on a budget. It will help so much just to know that you have a plan and that things are taken care of.

Find yourself a support system. I know that it can be hard to put yourself out there. And as adults, it can be hard to make new friends that are really supportive and will be there for you. Even if you only have one person, just make sure you have someone that you can count on and talk to. If you don't have anyone, join a support group. There are Facebook groups for anything and everything. So go on, do some research, and find one that you are interested in. Once you decide on one, then make sure that you interact with it. Just joining one won't make you meet new people, you have to actually talk to people and start to build connections. It can be hard and scary, but you can do it and you are worth it.

Make sure you get enough sleep. Sleep affects so much. If you are not getting enough sleep, it can be hard to overcome things. You might feel extra stressed out when your body is tired. So make sure you get on a good sleep schedule. If you have trouble getting or staying asleep, look into sleep meditation or a sound machine. This helps so many people. Or get a sleep aid. You can get them at any health food store. They have helped me so much on days when maybe I had too much caffeine, or just can't shut my mind off. Make sure you do your research on what will work for you.

Find your joy. If you already know what really makes you happy, make sure that you do those things every day. It might not be a part of your daily job. And that is okay. But make sure that you can do it a little bit every day. Maybe it's baking and cooking. So make sure you schedule time every day to make at least one meal. Now if you don't know what brings you joy. Make a list of things you think might bring you happiness or that you have wanted to try. And make an effort to figure out what makes you happy. It will be easier than you think. Even if your joy isn't a part of your 9-5 job, it will make you happy just knowing that you have something to look forward to.

If you are in a relationship, make an effort to be intimate often. I know this is specific to someone that is in a relationship or even just seeing someone. Feeling that connection with someone can change your mood totally around.

Start to do daily affirmations. You will be surprised how much of a difference this little thing can do for you. I like to do mine in the morning in the mirror after my shower. Tell yourself you are beautiful, you are worthy, you are worthy of love, abundance is attracted to you, you get the idea. It shifts your mindset into a positive one so that you are not talking negatively to yourself.

I hope that these tips have helped, or at least given you some ideas on how you can overcome it. I know that it can be lonely and stressful in the world. But know that you are doing a great job, and you can overcome this.

-T