Creating Memories

Arghhh! I can’t believe I forgot to hem my wedding dress!

Yes that is a thought, and a statement, I uttered the day before I was to walk down the aisle. Just hours out from the moment, I had a very full satin skirt that needed to be taken from frayed and uneven to neatly invisibly stitched.

I had known since I was about 15, roughly what I wanted my wedding dress to look like, not in a wedding obsessed way, but more of an, I like designing clothes kind of way. So, when it came to my wedding nearly a decade later I knew what I wanted, then because we had so very little money, I knew I would be making it. Of course when it came right down to it, I couldn’t find exactly the right pattern, so I bought one fairly close and tweaked it on the fly. I’d gotten it done though, and two of the three bridesmaids dresses (my mother made my sister’s dress). Now the day before I get married, I’m staring proudly at my dress, fashioned by my own hand and realise, in horror, that I never actually finished the damned thing.

I’m sure there was much sighing involved as the dress went on and the pins came out. I got up on a dining room chair and the tedious process of turning this way then that, started. With so much fabric in the skirt, it needed to fall exactly right, which not only meant no measuring, but going by fit, it also meant lots and lots of tiny hand stitches. – there went my evening.

Then much to my surprise, my mother’s best friend asked it I would allow her to sew the hem. It turns out her daughter had only recently told her she was never going to get married and she thought this might be the only chance she got to be involved in a wedding. Who was I to deny such a request?

This is the beauty of these kinds of skills, they help create memories. Sure, we mostly call them crafts these days, but that doesn’t take away from the truth that they are skills, and skills not everyone can perform.

Sewing and knitting are abilities that have woven themselves through my life from a young age. They are abilities I consider to be generational gifts. Why you may ask, because it isn’t as though the only way to learn them is through a matriarchal line. Something definitely true, but that is how I did it.

Every year at Christmas, all the Grandkids got wooden coat hangers with knitted covers from our Oma, incidentally it was she who taught me to knit.

My favourite doll when I was a small girl, was nearly as big as I was and had her own wardrobe of custom designed clothes that my mother made, in some cases matching my clothes including a flower girl dress that we don’t talk about because it was brown (hey don’t judge it was the 70’s). My mother was the one who taught me to sew. I loved laying out patterns with her, and felt so special when she handed me her special fabric scissors, which were not to ever be used for anything else.

I took pride in being able to make things I could wear, or were useful. Of course, never having a lot of money, much of our clothing was hand me downs, but when it came to special events, such as school balls, I soon learnt it was cheaper to make something, and it gave my mother a sense of involvement and pride.

Creativity is a major part of my life, though it isn’t always directed to crafty things, truth be told my sister is more skilled in this area than me. With everything I am juggling in my life, I still enjoy dabbling, both with fabric and wool. I actually have boxes of the stuff.

Every now and then the bug gets me and I make something just because. I have plenty of ideas, just not a lot of time. Thing is the creating is only one aspect I love about it. For me it is the generational aspect of it all that carries greater meaning. I have taught both my daughters to knit and sew, though sewing has taken better. There was even one year I had this totally brilliant idea that my girls should give Christmas presents that they had made rather than bought. What a fabulous idea you may think, as I did, when I introduced it. Then I realized what I had done…if I expected my girls to make things, then realistically I needed to lead by example. How completely stupid of me. A few hours down the shops would have been so much easier, considering I was the sole income earner in my family, working 12 hour shifts. Where was I going to find time to get this done? (oh and did I mention I was writing a book?).

Anyway the objective stuck, I supervised the making of a replica favoured toy, only much larger, whilst knitting scarves, beanies, gloves and jackets. I even knitted for myself, I ended up enjoying the process so much. I have made myself a poncho with a design worked into it from Dr Strange – making it suit my geeky personality. Knitting became my sit in front of the tv thing to do for a while.

Again I come back to the generational aspect of these skills. When my young nephews were born I decided to continue a tradition my mother started, and I know should she have been alive, she would have been the one to make special baby blankets.

Adjusting patterns seems to be something I like to play at, and so I made one of my nephews a Harry Potter inspired cardigan.

Then it seems I flipped back to sewing. My eldest graduated high school, which means high school ball and she didn’t want a dress like anyone else would have. She decided early on that she wanted to make her own dress, which was code for ‘mum can you make my ball dress?’

And so I did. Well we did, because you can bet your butt I made her do some of it. She looked so beautiful in her one of a kind fully lined ball dress. It made me feel proud to know I could do that for her. It made me proud that she saw having a home-made dress as a symbol of uniqueness, and not playing with the pack, rather than one of poverty.

These skills are ones many of our ancestors had and valued, they created things that were handed down through the generations. I suspect it was not only a way to be productive and clothe otherwise naked bodies, but also a way to create memories – much like the smile that comes when I remember sitting with my mother and being able to use her special fabric scissors. I am glad I can pass these skills down to my daughters, I’m happy when I can make them cosplays when they get the bug, or tailor something specific to any of us, just because.

In this day and age it is so easy and relatively cheap to be able to just go out and buy stuff, but it is reassuring to know that if the world goes apocalyptic then at least my family will be able to clothe themselves…Hmmm maybe I should learn how to weave and spin…

On a final, fun side note, I have also taught my husband to sew, though I suspect they would all be more involved if I had an overlocker, maybe if I win I can invest in one of those and hubby can finally get around to making the jacket he insisted I buy the fabric for.