Confusion and Motivation

This is coming from a time which this feels like the hardest part yet. This has completely taken me for a whirlwind which that I did not expect. I am in the program that I do want to be in. Although each day is another day to getting older and that is freaking me out. There is nothing else right now that I have built up to be enough to live on my own. From time to time everything feels overwhelming. I am using this platform to build a skill which can be shared that does feel therapeutic to me. Once my skills are developed this can hopefully give me some leverage. Regardless there are several different areas I plan to dive into. Essays where never my thing in school and college. Where I work now can so not stand and it just is’nt anything I want to do long term. One day, this site popped up on Facebook, being the curious person just had to check it out. I do know where I want to go, but no one can stay in the nest forever.

My reason for this is to still have the time to finish school and still have something that can help me support myself. There was something else I was doing and kind of had to put that on hold. I am not against working two jobs, just want to have my opportunities open to do more. I would consider myself a still new entrepreneur. Anyone else who is an entrepreneur I am open to any guidance. There has been a lot of up and downs for me as far as creating. It does not help some people might say “Just marry a rich man.” For me it is practically impossible to pretend to love someone because my expression would be painfully obvious if I do not. My love is ether love them dearly being all lovey or do not love at all. I have tried to always be independent in some way. Although making the leap into adulthood has been a struggle. Its weird because when looking at other people all I see is couples. There is usually someone else that is there to help. As this shows my thoughts are all over the place which fits the title.

Every day it is a challenge to find ways to stay motivated when not everything is going in the direction preferred. Sometimes it feels like no one in my family see my point of view. It is very annoying to feel like a crazy person. I never expected any of this to be easy, but doing nothing about it is going to get me nowhere. A lot has happened in my life in this year which has made me think about all these things. This is my story and process of trying to understand what is to be an entrepreneur. I am sure this have not mastered this yet. There is always some way I’m trying to make something work. Over time my fear will subside hopefully once it clicks. I like hearing other ways to be motivated to keep my will fresh. Telling my frustration in a creative way is very refreshing to me. It is cool to develop new talents and skills. Mainly I have always wanted to be like “a jack of all trades”, or at least some. There is always a risk to these things no matter what. As long as the will to keep going is there then the lows will out way the bad.