Chasing Dreams

I’ve been in a season where I find myself in a restless state of mind. I keep chasing the “thing” and I don’t even know what it is. It could be a pre-midlife crisis, or just the simple yearning for something more.

I wonder daily if this is all what it’s really about… working 40-45 hours a week away from my daughters. Missing out on a lot of their moments and trying to make the absolute most of the time I do get with them. Is life really about working so hard and so long that you have zero energy left to put a meal on the table for your family? There just has to be more. Right? I’m not alone in this. I’m not the only one who clings to the final moments before bath time because I won’t see my girls until the next evening once they fall asleep.

The ambitions I have accumulate into large numbers as I sip my coffee during my 40 minute commute to work. Thats 40 minutes without my babies in the morning, and 40 minutes away from them in the evenings. 40 minutes of grief because I'll be missing their morning wake ups again, and not being there to get them dressed for the day. 40 minutes of daydreaming about all the fun places I could take them if I didn't have to leave them. 40 minutes of sadness, because my heart longs for more. I do this... every, single, day.

I often think about what I want to instill in to my girls. What can I teach them that will actually make a difference in the way they navigate life? How can I be sure that they know how much they are loved and supported? My morning thought this morning was this: ‘I have decided that the biggest piece of advice I want to provide my children is, find what you love to do, and then find a way to build your blessings upon it.’

In order for our little ones to have the example, we need to set the example. We need to be ambitious for ourselves because then we will have the room to be sure our children will be ambitious too. I want my girls to be fearless in the face of change. I want them to find whatever it is that sets their soul on fire, and never be dampened at the notion that this is “just how life is.”

Find it. Find your niche. Find the soul purpose for your every being and make all that you can out of it. Dig deep in to yourself to unwrap where your soul belongs. Never put a cap on happiness, and don't ever assume your story won't be of great help to someone else. Be kind, be open, and be fearless. If you'd go the extra mile for a patient at work, your friend, or for a stranger at the grocery store, then go the extra mile for yourself, too. Consume yourself with knowing that there is more to life than with the idea that there isn't.

I hope whoever reads this feels encouraged to just move. Move in a direction where you are graced with positivity and covered in joy. Move towards the greater good. Lean in to your goodness. How lovely life can be when you just move over enough to allow God to place you on a path that you were always meant to be on. Find comfort in the unpeaceful moments, but don't sit in them too long because life aligns in the most uneasy of times.

Sincerely yours,

Emily