Cause and Effect

In relationships, it may take a season or two to absorb the hidden meaning behind all the adversity that has taken place, before you can feel safe again, to welcome new relationships; as it turns out. You can examine the pattern of unfavorable events, as they unfolded prior to the disappointment. In one way, by reflecting on how you attracted the situation into your life. Another way is how you let yourself be swept along, as well as how you were drawn toward a familiar drama or dysfunction, which led to unavoidable failure.

For instance, let’s take the feeling of lack or inadequacy. If for some reason, due to past hurt or trauma, that you lack confidence or feel inadequate in honest expression; on one hand, you will be more prone to keeping secrets, ambiguity, being manipulative, lying, hence dishonesty. On the other hand, you will have the tendency of being too trusting, too lenient, lacking boundaries, being naive and highly impressionable. This is called lifestyle habit behavior. Unconsciously you’ve been this way, for as long as you were able to victimize yourself or as long as you have been conditioned toward distorted beliefs. Which our families used as the infamous attempt to protect us from the bitter disappointments of life. These set us up to expect certain outcomes as inevitable. In turn, it gives the whole family permission to behave in ways that attracts to us, exactly what we fear and are trying to avoid. You have adopted a set of values and beliefs that were expressed in the norms of your family, without much scrutiny or conscious choice. Just believing that the outcome will be as the family’s beliefs has designed it to be. Once the situation doesn’t result in the expected outcome, things go awry with no amicable solution in sight.

Since, what we are here to learn, doesn’t come easy. As you continue to exhibit your lifestyle habit behavior, the universe will constantly present you with situations that calls for change in exchange for adversity, confusion, misunderstandings, disagreement, defensiveness, deception, turmoil, manipulation, disappointment, and ultimately failure. So, until you recognize and change your lifestyle habit behavior, to better serve you in a positive, meaningful and more fulfilling lifestyle, you will continue with the same difficult situations; just with different people.

You will find that the happiest people are those who know how to bring each situation into balance by reducing that which is too extreme, and adding to that which is lacking. These are the type of people that demand balance and stability in their relationships. It is humility that is the standard that allows you to understand the equilibrium in each situation. Humility in terms of our influence on and existence in the world around us, because you are, what you do. So changing your behavior changes your identity each and every moment.

Retreat; some times it is necessary to slow down, let go or fall back in order to better position yourself for your next move or to draw your partner or a person closer. Divine timing is critical. As long as you remain confident while retreating, it can produce a better outcome. Just know that some things are bigger than you. Remove your ego, as it allows you to better determine, creative openings when they surface. Examine situations closely to see how you persist in your lifestyle habits, in your relationship. Until you decipher your tendency to invite theses types of events into your life, you will not be free of this kind of pain. Take the time to ponder on these issues for a while; examining them closely with concentration on accepting your own responsibility in all of this.