Can We Completely Remove Regrets From Our Lives

Regrets are self-torture and self-punishment that disable our ability to live and function as normal and sensible human beings. — Annelise Lords

I had a conversation this morning with someone close to me who hurt me badly.

“I am sorry for what I did?” she apologized.

A smile involuntarily shoved the pain and disappointment away, popping up on my face, and my heart asked, “Why are you sorry?”

“Because you are good to me,” she confessed. “I shouldn’t have done what I did.”

Nodding in agreement as her apology sent me back to the many occasions I had to prevent hell from visiting her — the many times I had to save her from the numerous obstacles and trials life imposes that she was unprepared for — I said, “I am not sorry.”

With raised brows and a hint of confusion on her face, she revealed, “But I hurt you.”

“You did,” I agreed with her. “But you also taught me valuable life lessons, along with telling me something new about yourself.

The confusion etched on her face said, ‘I don’t understand.’

I elaborate, “Smart people never regret life lessons. The actions and reactions of humans in my life tell me a lot about them unconsciously. That means they are unaware that they are giving me the truth. Never regret when humans tell you the truth about themselves.”

I read the pain of understanding in her eyes that came from her heart. She closed her popped eyes and sent everything back, but it was too late. I read her soul, too. Then I counseled, “Through your actions, choices, intentions, and decisions, conscious or not, you tell the world something about yourself. The sad part is it’s the truth. Most humans are unaware that the truth comes with our involuntary, unconscious, and unaware actions, choices, intentions, and decisions.” I eased closer to her and whispered, “And that’s where the truth lives.”

“You mean my one dishonest action tell you that . . . . .”

“You could be a thief and cannot be trusted,” I finished the sentence for her. “I will now have to set boundaries and be careful around you, preventing you from cheating me again. I can’t regret that important lesson that will save me thousands of dollars if I don’t take the necessary precautions. You told me something about you by your actions. See why I am glad you did what you did?”

“How can you be happy that I cheated you?” her frustration demands.

“Your dishonest action taught me something valuable that allowed me to eliminate any regrets from my decisions to save myself from you repeating what you did,” I explained.

With furled brows mixed with confusion, she asked, “So, learning from what I did will disintegrate any regrets you have in your life?”

I nodded.

“And you do this with everyone?” she asked, astonishment on her face as her brows went back down.

“Girl,” I said, glaring at her. “Regrets have damaged more lives than all of the diseases known to man, and the ones that are unknown too! Plus wars and what we do to each other for greed, revenge, jealousy, hatred, etc.!”

“You are insane!” she cried and stormed out.

I will forgive her but will impose limits and boundaries to prevent her from cheating me again. Life lessons are in all of our experiences, communication, contact, and association with others. Find the lesson in it. Learn from it. Appreciate them for what they taught you. Impose limits and boundaries while thanking and forgiving them for what they did. Then move on to the next lesson because, honey, life will be sending many more. And they will be from the ones we know, love, and trust.

Don’t regret humanity’s cruelty. Find the life lessons in it and learn from them to save yourself and others when you can.

Again, Life lessons are in everything, but only with focus and awareness will you be able to see what’s coming. Understand the message and learn from it. Focus and awareness are powerful tools that allow regrets to melt away.

If your heart could speak, what would it say?

Yes, regrets have destroyed more lives than anything we can do to each other!

Thank you for reading this piece. I hope you enjoyed it.