Become Who You're Afraid To Be

The majority of individuals are scared to be who they truly are. The reason they are afraid to embrace the aspects of themselves that may be viewed as undesirable is because doing so makes them uncomfortable. Therefore, people split themselves into conscious and unconscious parts in order to get away from this discomfort. In the conscious-half, they construct an ideal image of themselves: an image formed out of the bits and pieces of their past that they deem as good and acceptable. And as result, in the unconscious-half, they repress the parts of themselves that they view as bad and unacceptable.

In Jungian psychology, this repressed part of the personality is called /The Shadow/. And unless The Shadow is integrated into the personality, a person can never realise their highest potential. Rather, One will always be partial, broken, and incomplete; instead of leading the full life that may have been, they will live a life of regret. For instance, suppose I've solved a few equations and persuaded myself that I'm an excellent mathematician.

It's possible that I'll run into some friends who tell me they have a maths group. Every weekend, they get together to attempt solving the trickiest maths problems. I'm afraid that if I join, I won't be able to continue being the "great mathematician" that I've persuaded myself I am. Rather, I will be a tangible individual with real skills and shortcomings. And there are two things I could do in this situation. The first thing I'll do is flee my shadow and allow it grow.

I acknowledge my shortcomings as a mathematician and decline to join the maths club. I get to hold onto the fantasy that I am a brilliant mathematician, but I miss out on the chance to become one. Making contact with and integrating my shadow is the second action. I discover I'm not as good of a mathematician as I had assumed when I join the maths club. This is painful in the near term. I find that while I'm not very good at geometry, I'm really good at differential equations. Along with my coworkers, I become measured. Among other mathematicians, I actually hold a position and a rank. I've come to the realisation that I'm not as good of a mathematician as I believed I was.

But now I open up the possibility of actually becoming one. I can actually improve my skills and rank. In the long run, this ends up being the best decision I’ve ever made. See, in a way, we frequently desire to be pure potential. We tell ourselves we /could be/ whatever we wanna be, but don’t actively endeavour to /actually/ be something. We simply console ourselves by thinking that we could be someone if we so desired. This is because we begin to feel our weight in the world when we strive for something. We are ranked and measured. We are real and measurable. Furthermore, living in this real world is frequently less enjoyable than our idealised fantasies. But it's not a fantasy—it's real. And truth can be made better, but a fantasy life always ends tragically.

Self-acceptance is the first step on the road to self-improvement. We cannot realise our full potential unless we embrace and integrate our shadow, accept the negative aspects of ourselves, and become the people we are frightened to be. However, we become partial and incomplete if we suppress the aspects of ourselves that we fear and reject our shadow, picking and choosing the aspects of our personality, behaviour, and past that we like. And we live a life filled with regrets rather than a whole, whole life. However, it is up to you to choose whether to accept or reject your shadow in Jungian terminology. Which would you prefer—failing in real life or succeeding only in theory?