Battle Buddies

I was the type to be hesitant when it comes to sharing out my feelings and my inner gut. I truly don't know why, but it was a sense of being shy and scared to let all of my emotions slide off my plate and bring it all up in front of someone's face.

Being the introverted person I am I needed time when it came to conversing in a group or even if it was with just one other person. my initial thought: "It'll just be a burden to them." "They're not going to understand." "Why do you even bother to speak with them?" all of these thoughts roamed in my head since I was about a freshman in highschool. Now that I'm a freshman in college; I think in my head what was that reason. Although I had trouble talking to people unless I was forced to I was indeed envious of those who could blabber all throughout the day with their friends.

Not going to lie I had friends that I was comfortable being around and talking to, but it wasn't to the extent of talking about my doubts and worries. you're probably thinking isn't that what close friends are for? Yeah, you're right, but the one thought that always lingered was "You're just going to be a burden to them". Since most of my friends were in all honors and/or ap classes while I was stuck in normal courses, I thought that they would never have the time to understand and have the time to motivate me or make me feel better about myself.

However, if a friend or family member asked me, "Are you okay?" or "What's wrong?" I would always simply respond with "I'm fine." Although I wasn't I needed to at least pretend that I was for mine and the person's sake. It was hard and I continue to do it till this day because of the same old pattern I can't get rid of. Whether I was feeling mentally, psychologically, or physically unstable I continued my business without trying to worry anyone.

This unusual habit was brought upon when I was in basic combat training while I was a soldier for the Illinois Army National Guard. I enlisted around my Sophomore year in high school. The summer after my senior year, I was told that I would be going to Ft. Leonard Wood in Missouri for my BCT(Basic Combat Training) and AIT(Advanced Individual Training). My initial emotion when I got the news was scared.

Overall, my experience with BCT is interesting because it allowed me to learn what an American Soldier must do when in combat. I'm not going to go in-depth about my whole journey during BCT because there's a lot of things.

The key thing about BCT is teamwork which consists of battle buddies. A battle buddy is a form of companionship and is pretty much used all throughout your military career. If you would have to translate that word in civilian terms it would be a best friend for life.

I'm going to mention 3 of my battle buddies, Derrick, Moreno, and White. I don't know their current ranks so I'll just put their first and last names. These three female buddies have been the main reason how I was able to kind of put out my feelings. There were other great battle buddies while I was in basic training, but these would be my top three in equal placing.

Makayla Derrick is a battle buddy I met during my second cycle for BCT. She is one funny, crazy (in a good way), hopeful, and courageous lady. Actually, she was the first person I opened up to and she was so understanding. Talking with her on the couch at TSP was one moment I can never forget. After having that deep talk I learned to slowly forget about my past.

Marlene Moreno is someone who was like a mother to me. She always had my back and never let me fall to the ground. We always sat next to each other while cleaning our weapons which was a bit of a relaxing time for me. Sometimes I helped her learn Korean while she taught me Spanish.

Last but not least Macy White. White was actually my first official battle buddy that I got to know deep down my heart. I remember that one day when we were discussing a very sensitive topic and I rushed to the bathroom very devastated. Honestly, I didn't expect anyone to help me be in a better mood, but when she followed into the latrine, she talked about her own experiences and troubles, and I kind of told her my story.

All three battle buddies have been very bold, optimistic, supportive, understanding, and every other positive adjective out there in the English dictionary. Another thing I need to point out is the connection. The fact that I'm still having interactions with them through social media and texting is beyond words. Although I didn't graduate BCT and move on to AIT, I'm glad I got the privilege to spend time and know these great ladies.

We've all got our happy, mad, sad, stressed, and upset times. Believe me. I've been there and done a lot of things in life. Whenever you're having trouble with something or in need of some help don't think that you're a bother and ask for a little bit of assistance from a friend or family member. I promise you that'll be better in the long run.

Remember these four things 1. Never dwell on the past because we still got the present and future. 2. Giving up is the last and worst thing you'll do 3. Trying your best is better than being the best. 4. Love yourself and others.

Thank you for reading~ Have a great day/night!

Janice Yoon

Student at the University of Illinois at Chicago