A Small Resolution

The internet, social media, and every other available platform has given anyone a voice, at least for those of us who want one but so often, the words spoken, or typed, are meaningless.

At the beginning of the year, almost everyone sets a New Year’s Resolution. Whether they say it, or just think it, everyone does it. Then, a few weeks later, they fall off the proverbial wagon.

Why is this? Generally, resolutions are that which the soul desperately desires but is unable to change at any other point, and for some reason, people believe the date of January 1st, will make this attempt more fruitful than the last.

Every year, around New Year’s Eve, we sit down as a family and reflect on the year. What went well, what kind of or really sucked, what we enjoyed, and what stood out as very memorable. Then, we make a list of changes, or resolutions, that we have for the upcoming calendar year.

The typical goals are losing weight, getting stronger, reading more books, traveling more, saving money, and all the external beliefs we have for a good life. These are all great aspirations but how do we go about making lasting change?

The issue with lasting change is that often these are large goals that have no real milestones or markers. We just go balls-to-the-wall and when we inevitably fail, we blame the outside world for the temptation and the time constraints.

The real problem is that people do not start slowly and honor the steps along the way; this is a conversation we have had with our 11 year old daughter. We want her to be intentional and successful in each “fresh” start.

Her goals for this year are to be a better student and to read more books. These seem great, right? Well, the idea behind them is awesome but how in the world do you measure better and more? You can’t.

It is not enough for me to say, “I am going to be healthier this year!” Oh ok, that’s awesome, go me. Healthier a relative term and my “healthy” is probably vastly different from your “healthy,” which makes sense since I run over 30 miles a week, drink lots of water, and attempt to get restful sleep.

It is not too late to set intentions for this year or even to start over. I know I have to adjust mine pretty often but how do we set resolutions and be effective this time?

The best way to be successful in anything you intend to do is set small goals and master each of those steps. Do NOT move on until you feel 100% comfortable with the progress you have made and if you can excel in anything past that.

If the overall goal is weight loss, saying you are going to lose 50 pounds sounds great but how are you going to do it? Well, I am going to exercise 5 days a week, cut out fast food and soda, drink lots of water, and sleep 8 hours a day. This right here is how everyone starts out and while the road is paved with great intentions, it leads to failure and inevitable heartbreak.

Start with a smaller number in the very beginning, once that is hit, maintain it for a week or two or maybe three. Also, start with one small change. Studies show it can take 3 weeks for something to become a habit, so if the goal is 5 pounds lost and 3 days a week of exercise, do that until you have lost the 5 pounds and sustained 3 days for a few weeks.

Once you have reached this place, envision losing another 5 pounds and doing so by cutting back on soda.

Now you are exercising 3 days a week and drinking less soda. These are great accomplishments and should be rewarded as such, even if they are not monumental.

This concept of starting small and building is not new and can be applied to anything.

Do you want to be a more dedicated reader? Instead of saying I am going to read 20 books this year, start with 1 and go from there. It seems silly, read 1 book...well, if you are placing a goal of reading a certain amount of books, it is to be assumed you aren’t doing a great job at it now.

No amount of self-improvement is ever too small and it is never too late, or early, to grow yourself into the person you envision for yourself.

And while the New Year is a great time to evaluate your life, it is also a time to be grateful for where you have been and all the moments that have made you the person that is sitting here, reading this, deciding on where this season of life may take you.