A Musical Endeavor

To be honest, I was a bit daunted by the idea of writing a thousand words to meet the word count required for the "New Year, New Projects" Vocal Challenge. I felt that I could describe my commitment in quite a concise paragraph, and wasn't sure how I would wax eloquent on the subject much more than that. I considered opening this piece with a long, detailed backstory about musical lessons and influences throughout my childhood...but the thought started to give me a headache, and I wouldn't wish those unwarranted details on any reader. So if you're pressed for time, or if your attention span has been fatally wounded by technology, feel free to blaze through this synopsis:

I really enjoy musical composition. I really enjoy crafting poetry. And I've come to really enjoy the complex, challenging, and altogether wonderful combination of those two pastimes that we call songwriting. So I'm going to be writing, recording, and sharing one song per month on YouTube and on Vocal for the whole year of 2025. Feel free to follow along! Cheers, and happy trails to you all in 2025!

Yep, that's the gist of it! Having made it through the summary, dear reader, you have my full support in moving on to more pressing matters in your daily life. :) That being said, I must admit to having enjoyed the opportunity for a longer reflection on my musical motivation, goals, and process. So if you are indeed interested and available to read through a whole bunch more ponderous rambling, then press on into the breach, dear friends!

I have shared two musical works on Vocal since this year began, and have been greatly encouraged by the many kind and affirming responses I have received. I am grateful to have been honored with a Top Story for the first piece, "Song for a New Year," found here:

As aforementioned, and in great part as a result of the encouragement I have found thus far, I have decided to commit to writing and sharing one original song per month for the year of 2025. Depending on your own experience, knowledge, or assumptions regarding the realm of songwriting, you might call this either a pitifully simple resolution or a laughably ambitious one. I have found that the process of crafting an original song varies WILDLY from person to person (and song to song). Sometimes an artist might spend years letting an idea ebb and flow out of focus before settling on a finished version. In other instances, a songwriter will describe how the melody, tune, and instrumentation of a piece all emerged fully realized in the span of a brief afternoon. (source: just trust me, okay?)

To be clear, there will be a negligible level of effort, if any, oriented towards high production quality (at least at first). My aspiration is not to make it big on Spotify, fine tune my recording ability, or 'perfect my sound.' While I would love to share this passion through more accessible venues and achieve better quality recording, the time and hardware that I am working with make that vision pretty unfeasible at present.

All that to say, improvement to musical production is not out of the picture! If it ever becomes more realistic, I would love to get some real audio equipment and start learning the ropes of some recording/editing software. It would be fantastic to look back at the end of this year and see not only musical and creative growth, but a refining of technical skills too! Layereing multiple tracks of vocal and instrumental lines is SUCH a thrilling prospect to me, and I cannot wait for the opportunity to really dive into that dimension of the craft.

I just want to make it plain that the central spirit of this resolution is twofold: (1) a priority on making more time for this form of creativity, and (2) a commitment to sharing more of what I'm working on. So for the time being, I will be recording simple, single track videos from my phone, with the instrumentation limited to the keyboard or guitar that I will be playing simultaneous to my own singing. It is far more important to me right now to hold myself accountable to investing in the creative process and sharing the (imperfect, unrefined) results with the interested parties around me.

One such interested party is my wonderfully supportive family, both immediate and extended - many of whom have personally encouraged and cultivated my love of music over the years. I've been blessed with a host of both interpersonally gracious and musically proficient relations (a combination that many a jaded music student might tell you is dreadfully rare). Though I've been composing things privately for several years now, I've only just recently started sharing projects with this circle of encouraging saints. Only since moving into an apartment with my brother last February have I played for him any original works - and doing so has been more deeply encouraging and affirming than I could have imagined. He, a pianist and student of music much more dedicated than I, has taken to studying my messy notes and becoming more familiar with my pieces than even I am! Many an encouraging word has been lobbed my way about a given phrase or musical motif - alongside the occasional good-spirited prod to finish some incomplete compositions that I had abandoned.

It has been so rewarding to open a window for him to see into this corner of my life; this is one central reason behind my commitment to share more music. I want to invite as many of those kind, helpful voices into my process as possible! I should say that I have also been profoundly surprised and heartened when my brother and other friends and family have taken from my songs some real encouragment. For this reason too, I want to share more on the chance that something I write may meet someone where they need it on a difficult day.

Though I've already posted two songs this month, I felt I should officially kick of my resolution with one more piece - the last one I'll share on here till sometime mid-February, probably. (so good news if you're already sick of them!!) This is a tune and set of lyrics that I've just been fiddling with this past week - but which very quickly asserted themselves in the forefront of my mind as having potential to become something meaningful. Disassociation is a daily struggle for me, and this song was born out of some reflections on how difficult it can be to stay grounded in reality. I hope you enjoy, whether you can relate to that or not!

If you've made it this far, thank you very kindly for reading. Taking the time to read about someone else's personal endeavor is a seriously thoughtful and selfless thing to do, and I don't take lightly the encouragement of the many folks on here who do just that. So cheers to you, thoughtful reader! I cannot overstate my gratitude. :) And I wish you the best in all of your own hopes, struggles, and paths in the year of 2025 and beyond.

LYRICS:

I am phantom

I cannot touch anything

I phase right through every outstretched heart

and feel no warmth, nor sting

*

(I'm) So distant, so estranged,

from true reality...

(It's) No different, no better, no changed,

On account of me...

*

I am phantom

I cannot move anything

I phase right through every outstretched heart

and feel no warmth, nor sting

*

I play no part in this story

I hold no piece of this song

Losing myself, I can only hope

I'm as real as the chance that I'm wrong