A Hasty Decision

In 48 years I’ve walked into a tattoo parlor once, but plan to do it one more time. Do I regret my current ink? A big sprawling sign of the times plastered across my back from almost 30 years ago? Well, I won’t say I’m thrilled with it, but I don’t regret it. Let me explain.

When I was in my twenties, I was very impulsive and loved to keep up with the current fads. Curl my hair into tight little spiral curls that I will never be able to brush for at least a year? Yes! Sign me up. Wait! First I have to go buy a few bottles of aquanet so after I get it really big it never moves again. Candies high heel slip on shoes? Of course I want them! Maybe I’ll pick up a pair of platforms too while I’m at it. My ankles are negotiable. You get the idea. If it was popular, I was all over it; good, bad, or otherwise.

Well, at the time, one of the biggest fads around was getting lower back tattoos. Today, we know them more commonly as tramp stamps. That’s right, girls. A big heart right above your butt crack with wings sprawled out to your kidneys. Also in fashion at the time was the really low, barely there above your hip jeans. Remember those? They were fun, right? Today, though, how many of you try to keep that bad boy covered up? I know I do. While I don’t make it a point for it to hide it, I do make an effort to wear longer shirts. Anyway, now that I’m older and wiser, it serves as a reminder of my youth and impulsiveness. When I get a glimpse of it now it reminds me to slow down and think about a decision before rushing in and dealing with the consequences; take a minute and think. I will never again walk into a tattoo shop, flip through a book, and say “Oh, I like that one!” and then plop down in a chair. Was it fun? Absolutely! Was it stupid? Absolutely! Do I regret it? Not one bit.

I do plan on going in and getting one more small tattoo; a butterfly. The butterfly is the symbol for AVM (arteriovenous malformation) awareness. In 2008, I was diagnosed with a brain AVM and had to have emergency surgery to correct it. I went to the hospital because my vision was being affected but I never dreamt it would be because of something so serious. In that moment, I wasn’t sure if I was going to live or die. My only thought was what will happen to my daughter if I die being that she was only 9 years old. Today, I’m doing well. My peripheral vision is gone for good and I do have the occasional seizure but, I’m alive. What a blessing. I want the butterfly to remind me that life can change in the blink of an eye, or flutter of a wing if you will. That fast it could all be gone. That one I will display proudly and prominently.

My life has a been a series of ups and downs, thrills and spills, highs and lows, and all the other cliches to describe being up one minute and down the next. My tattoo(s) will be no different. One reminds me of my youth and spontaneity while the other will remind me to slow down and cherish every moment. Kind of ironic. I suppose if this has any message to convey to a younger generation it would be this: have fun, but don’t be stupid. Decisions have consequences that can, at times, be permanent or life-altering. Never rush into something hastily without thought, without regard, and lastly without foresight. Don’t live with a lifetime of regret over a decision made in the spur of the moment.