4 Ways to Deal with Workplace Gaslighting

Workplace Gaslighting can be described as a subtle way perpetrators make their victims question their reality and even doubt their competence. This is one negative behavior that causes the victim to feel guilty. The habit thrives in a workplace environment that lacks psychological safety hence most victims suffer mental health issues triggered by chronic stress.

Gaslighting works when a Gaslighters contradicts their earlier agreements and blames you for some decisions you made that they earlier supported. They often criticize your work unfairly, change deadlines without informing you and constantly try to manipulate you to erode your self-confidence. The following are ways through which you can fight Gaslighting;

1. Trust Your Instincts

One of the most effective ways of dealing with gaslighters at your workplace is to learn to trust your gut and validate your experiences. Since gaslighters are fond of using subtle tactics to manipulate their victims and create doubt in them, you may be left with no other choice than to have absolute trust in your guts.

Gaslighters want to blame you for problems they created by telling you your flaws and personality make you unreliable. You need to practice reasonable self-validation to affirm that your feelings are real and justified. Be sure your feelings are accurate even when someone tries to make you feel otherwise.

Reflect on past and present events regularly, and compare them with feedback to reaffirm your understanding. You are not flawed because someone else claimed so.

2. Turn Your Words and Actions into Proof

One symptom of Gaslighting is when you begin to second-guess your memory. Gaslighters don’t recall agreeing to something with you and it is a tactic to force you to doubt your perception and actions.

If possible, try recording conversations by taking screenshots of emails or recording videos of conversations with your phone if it is legal. Also, make it a habit to take notes of the dates and times of key events and conversations for accuracy.

You may also want to summarize conversations after meetings including taking notes to ensure clarity and for reference points. Similarly, you may want to keep a diary of voice memos and they must include the date and time of things said and done. You can have a witness when necessary to validate your position on a matter.

3. Limit Interactions and Set Boundaries

If you are not good at keeping records of events, perhaps the best way to fight off Gaslighting at work is to set boundaries and limit interactions.

Working under someone who undermines your input and achievements can be exhausting but leaving such a job may not be the ideal option. You may have to minimize your contact with such a gaslighter to safeguard your mental health.

Set boundaries by keeping your communications with them brief and only work-related. Taking this step will create emotional distance and help you maintain your emotional well-being.

You must decide what behavior is unacceptable and be prepared to enforce consequences when your boundaries are breached.

4. Seek Some External Support

Gaslighters are known to isolate their targets by making them feel alone and doubt themselves. Confiding in trusted individuals can help provide clarity. Gaslighters are afraid when their victims get support from sympathizers who offer different perspectives and help them discover they are not the problem.

By leaning on your trusted external circle, you can reaffirm your reality and build that resilience to face gaslighters at work.

Bottom Line

Gaslighters will always try to provoke emotional reactions in you in an attempt to discredit you and it is important that you remain calm and composed. When you are calm in the face of Gaslighting, the gaslighter becomes unsettled thus preventing them from using your evidence against you.