4 Steps for True Self-Care

Self-care is bigger business than you might think.

We cannot talk about self-care if we do not talk about self-love first, and this is where so many people do self-care wrong. Most individuals say that they practice self-care every single day by setting a skincare routine, working out to exhaustion, spending hours upon hours just to put make-up on and so much more.

Now, I am not saying that these things are wrong. These actions and others that are similar are actually very efficient in some people’s lives. Everybody is different and virtually anything could help anybody, it all depends on each individual’s way of being, likes and dislikes.

And yet, although these things do not harm anybody and are actually useful to a lot of people, most of the human beings that practice self-care only stop to that surface-level of pampering up. Sure, getting your manicure done, getting your hair done and putting on make-up surely does bring a lot of pleasure and personal fulfillment, but it is all temporary. The moment you face your regular life, you turn back to dealing with never ending problems, you turn back to dealing with all that emotional tumult that you ignored all this time. Indeed, it is hard to successfully have a life filled with self-care when self-love is almost inexistent.

So today, I believe the time has come to overcome this lack of self-love and learn, through 4 simple steps, how to care for yourself better.

First, let’s talk about what self-care is.

Simplest put into words, self-care is nourishing the entirety of yourself. Self-care should take place on all of your aspects: emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually; nourishing yourself should include all aspects of yourself, not just the ones that you accept, but the ones that you have not looked to for a long time.

Still, the question is, how can genuine self-care can be achieved?

1. Be present with yourself

The first thing to do is the most important step of all and it is definitely indispensable: BE PRESENT WITH YOURSELF. Certainly, if you truly succeed in this, then you will succeed in all further steps. Being actually present with yourself will guide you to discovering yourself, it will guide you to build a true connection with yourself. Being present with yourself will lead you to be present in all aspects of your life which will result in taking decisions within your life that are completely aligned with your heart. You will live a life you will really enjoy if you are constantly present with yourself.

It might sound scary, it might sound overwhelming, but it is actually an exercise of consistency, as all successful things in life are. You could start with being present just a couple of minutes a day, and over time, you will realize that you will become more and more present and conscious of your existence and situation without feeling as if you put a lot of effort into it. It will be your second nature if you practice it consistently.

How can you do that? Well, there isn’t a specific way you could do it, but I would greatly advise you to stop everything you are doing and just stay. Stay with yourself, close your eyes if that helps you. Pay attention to your body, to your sensations, to your emotions and thoughts. Let yourself feel what you have to feel and let yourself think exactly what you want to think. Listen to your body, to your mind and to your heart. Follow your true wants and needs. Stop neglecting yourself, stop ignoring yourself. You know what you need and what you desire deep down inside. Get in touch with that uncared for side of you, it craves your attention, your care, your love

2. Accept Yourself

Most of us haven’t been taught how to properly accept ourselves, and that is because we most probably haven’t been completely accepted when we were children. Thinking about this, how can we even know how to truly accept ourselves if the people most dear to us didn’t accept parts of us when we were little?

To make it easier, first accept that you cannot accept parts of yourself. Accept that you probably have sides that you do not like in your personality. Accept that you cannot accept some of your desires. That is the first step.

Proceed then to accept everything that you do, feel, think and experience. It is completely fine to feel anger, sadness, pain, it is all part of the healing process. It is fine to think everything that you think, it is fine to have the opinions and perceptions you have. If you were not to have these feelings and thoughts, you couldn’t know what you are looking for, you wouldn’t know what happiness even means. So accept them, be fine with them, don’t try to eliminate them just because people have taught you that they are “unacceptable”. That is their perception, but their thoughts and beliefs do not have to define your life, unless you want to.

You are your own, so fully accept yourself, accept everything that you are and accept everything that you could possibly be. It is all your Divine expression.

3. Observe Yourself

Once you have decided you want to live a certain thing, let’s say happiness, observe the your doings, feelings, thoughts and experiences on a daily basis. What are you doing that is totally contrary of your desired experience? Are you arguing with somebody? Are you thinking poorly of yourself? Do you believe you are helpless in a certain situation? Note all these sensations, thoughts and feelings, analyse yourself in all aspects of your life.

Do not stress over this though, you will definitely notice when you will experience something contrary to your desires. When that time comes, either work on it in the moment or note it somewhere if that helps you better. The main point is to accept that feeling, thought or experience and then decide if you really need it further. If you don’t, then let it go, set it free, as free as you want to be. Gather aaaall of yourself, all your power, all of your heart, all of your being, and then let it all go, let it fly in the wind, let in burn in the fire, let it flow in the river or let it down on the ground.

Simply having the faith and the courage to express your needs and wishes makes you feel powerful. By doing this you will earn a life you truly desire. It all takes observing yourself to get started on this road.

4. Be mindful of your actions, words and thoughts

Being mindful of your actions, words and thoughts is an important step in self-care. Why? Because if you keep letting your mind tell you that you are not enough and that you don’t deserve love, then it will be even harder to try to love yourself.

So, this step is about educating your mind. Why educate your mind? Because it controls our thoughts, our words and our actions. Thoughts, words and actions are some of the main and the most powerful ways in which beings create something in their reality. Our minds shape the world we live in, so if we desire a world we enjoy living in, then we might consider educating our mind in order to successfully create that world we desire.

Whenever your mind starts making stories about how things will happen this way or that way, stop it. Stop your mind from thinking all those poor thoughts about yourself. Stop your mind from making devastating stories about the future or about certain events. Disown those thoughts if they are not yours and if you have picked them up from someone else, your parents, some friends or maybe someone you look up to. Their beliefs do not have to rule your life. You have the power to choose what you believe, what you think, how you act and how you speak. The power to create a life you desire is within your hands.

Gather the entirety of your being, gather your power, and decide whether or not those thoughts serve you further in your evolution. If they do not, let them truly go. You are the master of your being.

In the end…

True self-care means nourishing all aspects of yourself and deeply paying attention to each one, accepting them all, integrating them all within you and being conscious that all of them are, in fact, you. As you have probably already guessed, it is quite a long way ahead until we can say that we TRULY care for ourselves. Self-care is a life-long journey that is worth travelling every second. What could be more fulfilling that being one with yourself and truly appreciating every moment of your existence?

I truly hope that this guide has helped you figure out how to dive deeper into your connection with yourself. If you would like to see the extended version to this guide and to access two more steps that could help you in your self-care journey, then you may access the following link to my blog: A True Self-Care Guide

Have a fulfilling life and make the most out of every moment! Until next time!