2020... What a year that was!

So as you already know, 2020 was an absolute disaster of a year. With it starting out with fears of world war 3 and then the infamous covid 19 which ravaged life as we knew it.

Last year, for me, definately had a lot more downs than ups. My 2020 started out with my boyfriend leaving me for someone else and moving out overnight after plenty of his undercover cheating escapades. This just totally messed me up for quite a while. I didn't actually think that there was going to be a light at the end of that tunnel. to be honest, sometimes is still don't know if there is but that is usually in times like these when we are locked-down and confined to our houses. I try not to let those invasive thoughts in, most of the time I don't but we aren't all perfect.

I have to say though, after that experience, I achieve a phenomenal amount of self-growth that I didn't even know I was capable of. I was drinking heavily and partying all of the time just to try to make the pain go away. I got to a point where I wasn't sure if my body could take it and still didn't care.

I know it all sounds so negative but there was a turning point as I mentioned, don't worry!

I came to the realization that I was essentially throwing my life away and with the unparalleled support of my two best friends, I began to turn myself around. One thing that really stuck in my mind was how much I would have been letting my mum down. I know that she is so proud of me for being the first in my close family to go to university and I couldn't let all of that go, knowing how much it would have hurt her.

Anyway, on a lighter note. Yes, I'm now in my second year of university and doing well. I hope that will transpire into my third year too. I currently live at home whilst studying in a university that is reasonably close to me however, I do really have my heart set on transferring for my third year, hopefully, to either London or Manchester. I even applied to Oxford! I am always hopeful but it was a long shot. but hey, never say never.

touching back on my experiences from last year I am going to in some way use them in an idyllic vision of how far I have come and how far I have got to go because there is always room for improvement.

I hate the saying, new year new me but I somehow feel like it is fairly apt this time around. I started out this year with not only a plan for self-improvement such as healthy eating and exercise which is actually going really well. I even tried to be vegan but we will just save that for next year...

I have never felt more mentally strong and I think being healthy has a lot to do with it. What's that saying? healthy body healthy mind? I can't speak for everyone but for me, it works absolute wonders!

I still expect off days but doesn't everyone? I think that writing this will help to give me a kick up the bum when I need it because I have written evidence as to why I should feel guilty if I start to backtrack on what I have said. I won't though!

Even though 2021 has already started out with a pretty dismal feel due to covid, I can still see that light at the end of the tunnel, and rather than using this time I have on my hands now to do nothing but procrastinate, I make sure that I am actively improving at least one aspect of my life day by day.

I think there is definitely a lot more to come in 2021, one thing I am determined to do is get my business properly up and running, it has been pretty stagnant for a while now with no activity whatsoever but that is down to covid. Once places are aloud to re-open, I will have it up and running, even if it's a slow start, it's better than not trying hey?

If I can do that now at 21, who knows what could be in store.

Essentially, what I am trying to say to whoever is reading this is that even if you have your down days, you can do it, even if it just means getting up earlier on a morning. it's a start. That was how I did it initially. I would try to get up at around 7am, then once I had done that, I then needed to plan my day but tried to think about what I could do today in order to improve the days ahead. It then progressed further and further from there really.

There have been plenty of times in my life where I just felt like giving up which I would talk about but this will end up being about 100000 words long. What I mean is, there will always be a reason for you to get up in the morning. So never give up and make your dreams a reality. On that note, make 2021 absolutely awesome! try something new! Investing? Learning a new language? apply for college? Anything to make you feel like you have a purpose. I promise you won't regret it.

Let's make 2021 our year!