10 “Useless” Ways to Be Yourself

Are you interested in 10 tips to "increase self-esteem" or to lose weight, sleep better, overcome fears, tie a tie, clean car windows or win pole vault gold? at the Olympic games…?

without training? No problem, just ask: there is something for everything.

I'm talking one round, 7, 10, 101... as many as you want.

But when it comes to being and expressing yourself honestly, the matter is a little different…

First I'm going to ask you a question: would you build a construction crane... using only Murano glass?

Keep the answer in mind, it will be useful to you later.

Let's start at the beginning.

The internet and bookstores are full of posts, manuals, or reports on how to get results by reading a numbered list of tips to get any result easily, quickly, and painlessly.

You have not even finished reading "7 tips to increase self-esteem" that you are immediately tempted to read, by the same author, his bestseller: "101 ways to write a CV in the Aztec format, the eyes bandaged and with the left hand“.

Can I give you some interesting information about these lists?

Do you want to know?

Are you curious?

Okay.

The first anecdote is that these titles turn out to be very effective (And that's why I also use this trick, before pointing it out to me) because they exploit a very powerful lever: curiosity.

The second interesting aspect is that often these suggestions disappoint your expectations.

Why?

Quite simply, they do not meet your expectations because they are too complex to apply.

Keep the word "complex" in mind, we'll get to that in a moment.

The third aspect is precisely this: even if they are useful… curiously, you hardly ever apply them or have rarely applied them more than once.

Is not it?

I'll tell you more: since the web is full of this kind of material, if we're talking about "personal development", moving on to the next "10 ways to feel more confident", will be just another great way to waste time and energy in useless activity.

I'll tell you now, but first I'll give you the fourth story.

The fourth story is that I just used a list to help you read 😉

So why, while these lists offer helpful advice, do they very rarely change the way you approach a problem?

Simple: because they are tricks.

When I say in my classes, "I'm going to tell you something", people jump up in their chairs, their bodies tense and the attentive gaze of someone who doesn't want to miss a word.

The truth?

One does not become proficient with tricks.

You may be able to use some tricks to "clean car windows" or to perform a simple task that has nothing directly to do with your person, but they will be almost completely useless when it comes to aspects that somehow involve your mind, your emotions.

Everything you want to learn, including how to be yourself in all situations, you will learn through the fundamentals.

One of the foundations of personal development is called accountability, and complex suggestions (here we are!) require commitment and accountability to follow through.

To make a suggestion operational after it has moved something in you, you have to make it "interact" with reality, by acting.

What makes us read these numbered advice lists instead?

Hope to find an easy solution.

The responsibility that normally falls on us disappears… with a click.

For a moment, we truly believe: that the solution is at hand.

Or, deep down, we don't believe it at all... but doubt, 😤?

We are in a state that will inevitably lead us to flip through the list and return more or less calmly to what we were doing without putting into practice what we have read.

There aren't 10 tips for learning to be yourself.

Identity development is a process based on certain fundamental principles that will need to be honed until mastery, and whatever you want to do, including applying the tips or techniques in question, rest assured that you will need to first a deep sense of identity.

You can't build a crane out of glass. Make it of steel so it can carry loads of life.

With this pearl of wisdom, absolutely "useless" if you do not put it into practice, I bid you farewell.