10 Signs You Might Have an Ego Problem (And How to Tackle It)

We all have a natural tendency to focus on ourselves. It’s like we’re programmed to think that we’re the center of the universe. While it’s normal to think about our needs and desires, when this self-focus grows out of control, it can turn into something harmful—an ego problem. Best-selling author Ryan Holliday once said, “Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, your worst enemy already lives inside you: your ego.”

Ego can be like an invisible cage, holding us back without us even realizing it. When it grows too strong, it clouds our judgment and distorts our view of the world around us. According to Holliday, ego is like a spoiled child inside each of us—always wanting to get its way, feeling superior to others, and becoming blind to reality.

But how do we know when our ego is out of control? Here are 10 clear signs that your ego might be getting the best of you—and how to address each one.

1. You Don’t Listen Well

If you find yourself always jumping in with your thoughts before others finish speaking, or getting irritated when someone disagrees, it could be your ego. Listening is about respecting others' thoughts and perspectives, but an overgrown ego makes it all about you. 

Solution: Try practicing active listening. When someone talks, focus entirely on what they’re saying instead of thinking about your reply. Ask follow-up questions to understand their point better.

2. You Get Defensive When Criticized

No one likes criticism, but if you feel personally attacked whenever you receive feedback, that’s a sign of ego. Instead of viewing feedback as a chance to improve, an inflated ego sees it as a threat. 

Solution: Next time someone critiques you, take a breath before responding. Reflect on whether the feedback might have some truth. Remember, feedback is often a gift for growth.

3. You Expect More Than You Give

Do you often expect others to help you out, but rarely offer a hand in return? This behavior reflects a self-centered mindset, driven by ego. 

Solution: Make an effort to think about others' needs. Whether at work or in your personal life, try to offer your help without expecting anything in return.

4. You Don’t Try to Understand Others

If you argue to prove you're right instead of trying to understand someone else’s view, it could be your ego leading the way. True conversations are about connecting, not winning. 

Solution: Next time you find yourself in a disagreement, pause and consider the other person’s perspective. Ask questions and try to understand where they’re coming from. You don’t have to agree, but empathy goes a long way.

5. You Always Speak Your Mind (Even When Unnecessary)

If you often feel the need to voice your opinion, even when it’s not helpful, that’s another sign of an overgrown ego. 

Solution: Think before you speak. Not every thought or opinion needs to be shared. Sometimes, staying quiet and listening is more valuable.

6. You Confuse Opinions with Credibility

Just because you have an opinion on something doesn’t automatically mean you're an expert. Ego makes us believe that our views are always valid, even when they’re not well-informed. 

Solution: Be open to the idea that others might know more than you do in certain areas. Admit when you’re unsure, and don’t be afraid to ask questions or seek out more information.

7. You Feel Jealous of Others’ Success

Ego-driven people often struggle to be happy for others’ achievements. Instead, they feel jealous and compare themselves. 

Solution: Practice celebrating others' success. Acknowledge that someone else’s success doesn’t take away from your own potential. Use their achievements as inspiration rather than competition.

8. You Talk About Yourself Too Much

If conversations always seem to circle back to you and your experiences, your ego might be in charge. 

Solution: Try to balance your conversations. For every few minutes you spend talking about yourself, spend time asking about the other person. Show genuine interest in their life and experiences.

9. You Avoid Challenging Ideas

If you only want to hear opinions and ideas that match your own, you may be protecting your ego. This creates an echo chamber where you never grow or challenge your thinking. 

Solution: Seek out different perspectives, even if they make you uncomfortable. Growth happens when you challenge yourself to see things in new ways.

10. You Blame Others When Things Go Wrong

Do you tend to shift the blame when things don’t go your way? Ego makes it hard to accept responsibility, so it’s easier to point fingers. 

Solution: Practice accountability. When something goes wrong, reflect on what part you played. Taking responsibility doesn’t make you weak—it shows maturity and self-awareness.



How to Control Your Ego

Having an ego isn’t necessarily bad. In fact, a healthy ego helps us set goals and take pride in our achievements. The key is to keep it in check.

Controlling your ego doesn’t mean being weak or letting people walk all over you. It means being confident without being arrogant. It’s about recognizing that you’re not always right, and that’s okay. Here are a few tips:

1. Stay Humble – Acknowledge your strengths, but don’t overestimate them. At the same time, be honest about your weaknesses and areas for improvement.
2. Seek Feedback – Actively ask for input from others and use it to grow.
3. Be a Team Player – Focus on how you can help and support others, not just yourself.

In the end, the battle with ego is ongoing. It’s about finding a balance between self-confidence and humility. When we learn to control our ego, we become better listeners, better friends, and better leaders. And most importantly, we become happier, because we’re no longer trapped in the cage of self-centeredness.