FALLS & FOOLS

Somewhere around the time of discovering this platform called Vocal, I dove deep into my collection of journals and texts to dig up anything with enough value to be showcased. Amongst these precious files, a number of them were no-brainers to adapt for publishing, but the same couldn't be said for them all. A handful of the written works were plentiful in significance, yet puny in word count—too puny to stand alone on this website.

However, I'd noticed that a couple of the shorter texts I'd pulled from the pack were alike in a way. Although one was written in 2021 and the other in 2022, they both had October in common. I thought, "maybe I can combine these." But before I make myself look like a piece-of-shit writer slapping two things together for something so superficial, let me search for similarities in the themes of the texts. Thankfully, the task wasn't difficult. I don't know if that's because of my superior talent or if it's just because this story was meant to be. Either way it goes, here we are, at the beginning of a newly titled work scribed with the intent of reinforcing one's judgment; Emphasizing that which is not what it seems to be. I'm either about to put you on game or simply remind you that you're not overthinking.

(The following text is from pages of my personal journal; Original writing from October 1, 2021 and October 24, 2022)

It's not a secret that I live my life with a watchful eye, trying to sharpen my ability to detect malice no matter where it lurks or how it's presented. This year, I've done a pretty good job uncovering more tell-tales of what may not be as sweet as it looks on the surface. I'd like to start by declaring my latest discovery in 'sources of evil': The selfish desire to feel like or appear as something. Whether it due to insecurities, an effort to impress someone else, or a need to make a point, people may use others as props to suggest something about themselves or create an image. They don't always realize that someone else's dignity, embarrassment, comfort, or even credibility is the cost of their putting on. A performance at that price is a crime in my book.

The next things on my list speak to the disguised modes of attack that are not as easily deflected: Compliments and conversations. Compliments are often used to deliver insults, to gain influence, or to distract from jealousy. Some people think they can encourage you to behave a certain way if they give you the credit in advance. They also believe that telling you nice things will lead you to believe they adore you or like you (as opposed to envy or fear). As cynical as it sounds, I've come to realize that I should be alerted by kind words above all else, for such vigilance will empower me.

My younger self knew better than to accept what people say as genuine, but at this stage in my life, I'm not just dismissing flattery, I'm taking it as a signal. In terms of mere conversation, it's important to consider the topics. It doesn't matter how kind, or concerned, or impressed someone sounds when addressing a subject, the introduction of the subject in itself can be telling; Especially when the context is odd or incongruent with said subject. If people think something makes you uncomfortable or is meant to be hidden, they may seek a way to shine light on it. It doesn't matter how pleasant the conversation seems, its sole purpose is to rip away the covers; It is merely a gateway to what they believe is damaging exposure. How disgusting and phony.

Lastly, I want to shine light on the innocent social behaviors that I recently decided are red flags. Thanks to sympathy, drawing the lines between devotion and manipulation can be quite difficult if you're a good person. Luckily, certain practices can be dead giveaways when it comes to relationships that are still...pending.

People who endeavor for trust

What is the gain? It should always raise a red flag when a person wants to win you over or make you fond of them. Too many times, I've seen liars and frauds try their best to "have my back" when obstacles arise. Despite their flaws in character and empty words, they eagerly snatch opportunities to side with you. Ironically enough, I've decided this is a perfect sign that I shouldn't trust you. Especially in contrast to the fact that many attractive people I've crossed paths with have never been as persistent.

People who insist on telling you how they feel

I understand the need to get things off your chest, but if I've never given you reason to think I like you, why am I hearing your intimate thoughts and experiences? Either it's a cry for sympathy or, once again, a reach for my trust by way of acting as if you trust me. We have to be mindful of those who are too willing to be vulnerable, for it can simply be a request for pity that intends to distract you from what you need to see.

People who like you no matter what you do

There definitely has to be something phony about these kinds. No matter how you behave towards them, they still pour time and energy into you. Oftentimes it's because an ulterior motive has yet to be met. Not to mention, guilty people tend to quickly forgive. People will harbor remorse for actions or intentions of which you're not even aware, and as a result, they are secretly not surprised by your attitude towards them. In fact, they may be perfectly prepared. Be very wary of people who pretend not to notice your distaste for them.

I'll consider this piece of writing a concrete collection of red flags that can help protect me from the friendliest of faces.

Now for the second half, let's go beyond the tricks of petty people and into the illusions of experiences altogether. In this game of life where not even tomorrow is promised, no one with dreams is a stranger to doubts. Although uncertainty can be stressful, that which dares to dishearten us often depends on a mere fantasy that we've created. With the right state of mind, one can remain neutral in his battle with the unknown and sustain confidence whether he endeavors or evades it.

Beware of the grass

You never know what's really in it. It's often said that it's greener on the other side, but for all you know, it's teeming with snakes. To beg and plead for something you can't be sure of is a FOOL'S game, for you could be coveting pain and disappointment. In the meantime, nurture your own lawn.

Don't trust the QUICK

Easy come, easy go. I'd apply that to everything. When things happen all too quickly and smoothly, it's probably because they aren't what they seem. Something behind the scenes or weaved in the details may catch you by surprise. Perhaps it isn't so solid or so valuable at all. After all, that which is easily obtained has no need to be desired—anyone can have it. On the flip side, you can better appreciate things that ask of your patience. It's like your life is downloading something grand.

Roller coasters are for the worthy

When it comes to building, gaining, maintaining, or all of the above, applying your best effort can make for an exhausting game. Whether it be physical or mental, such exhaustion is not necessary to endure if the grand prize does not satisfy us. Sometimes we have to look beyond the "value" that something has and ask ourselves what it really brings to our world. Do I really need this at my table? We must spare ourselves the ups and downs for that which truly matters to us. A car worth millions does not deserve the stress of a sailor.

Live in the season

When something good comes to an end, it's easy to feel emptyhanded without a particular pursuit. In a life so abundant, what we mistake to be "empty hands" may actually be extra space; New room to accustom our focus to things that occupied us before we encountered our something good. What we see to be "a loss" or "an end" is conversely a restart or beginning; A season for something different is afoot.

When romance fades, we can reserve our energy for progressing and producing. When productivity is low, we can make time to nurture our relationships. Without work, there is opportunity for rest and play. Without leisure, there is a chance at advancement and profit. There may be little on your plate, but there's always something to eat.

Here we are, a few Octobers later...

Before I sign off, I'd like to remind you that these words first came to life in journals meant primarily for my own eyes. Now that the time has come to share them with the public, please understand that the message is not to be suspicious of every single common gesture. Such skeptical perception is most applicable in situations where people around you have little reason to be fond of you and even less to offer you.

As for part two of this text, I encourage you to think without limits. Read through the words and relate them to everything—whether it intimate relationships, work opportunities, or sudden lifestyle changes.

I've always said that a fool is the man who takes me for one, and the things I've penned are my testimony. Funny enough, it seems like the season of Fall has been a prominent era of falling for nothing. Who would have thought that Halloween would get closer just for the masks to come off?