Why do people feel the need to compare their relationships with others, even though it is often said that love is subjective?

In an age where social media has become an integral part of our lives, the act of comparing one’s relationship with others has grown increasingly common. Even though it’s widely acknowledged that love is subjective, people often find themselves measuring their own experiences against the seemingly perfect relationships they observe around them. This tendency to compare is a natural human behavior, yet it can be detrimental to the health and happiness of one’s relationship.

The Social Media Mirage

One of the primary reasons people compare their relationships with others is the omnipresence of social media. Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok present an idealized version of reality, where couples showcase their happiest moments—romantic getaways, surprise gifts, and declarations of love. These images create a distorted perception of what a “successful” relationship should look like. The constant exposure to these curated glimpses into others’ lives can lead individuals to believe that their own relationship is lacking.

However, it’s important to recognize that social media often shows only the highlights, not the day-to-day challenges or conflicts that every relationship experiences. The couple posting about their dreamy vacation might have had a heated argument the night before, but you would never know because that’s not what they choose to share. The danger lies in the assumption that what you see online is an accurate reflection of someone’s entire relationship.

FREE RELATIONSHIP ADVICE CLICK HERE

The Human Need for Validation

Beyond social media, there is an inherent human desire for validation and reassurance. We often look to others to gauge whether our own lives are on the right track. In relationships, this can manifest as a need to compare our partner’s behavior, our level of happiness, or even our material possessions with those of others. This behavior stems from a deep-seated need for social approval, which can be traced back to our evolutionary past. In ancient times, being part of a group was essential for survival, so it made sense to compare oneself with others to ensure acceptance and belonging.

In today’s world, however, this need for validation can lead to unnecessary stress and dissatisfaction. When we constantly compare our relationship with others, we might overlook the unique qualities and strengths of our own partnership. We become so focused on what we perceive as lacking that we fail to appreciate what we have. This can create a cycle of negativity, where no relationship ever seems “good enough” because there will always be someone who appears to have it better.

FREE RELATIONSHIP ADVICE CLICK HERE

The Subjectivity of Love

Love is deeply personal and subjective; no two relationships are exactly alike. What works for one couple might not work for another, and that’s perfectly okay. The beauty of love lies in its diversity. Each relationship is a unique blend of personalities, experiences, and shared moments that cannot be replicated. Trying to measure your relationship against someone else’s is like comparing apples to oranges; it simply doesn’t make sense.

Instead of comparing, it’s more beneficial to focus on what makes your relationship special. What are the qualities that drew you to your partner in the first place? What are the moments that make you feel connected and loved? By nurturing these aspects, you can strengthen your bond and create a relationship that is fulfilling on its own terms, rather than one that is defined by external standards.

FREE RELATIONSHIP ADVICE CLICK HERE

Building Resilience in Your Relationship

To combat the urge to compare, it’s important to build resilience within your relationship. This involves open communication, mutual respect, and a shared commitment to growth. When both partners are dedicated to understanding and supporting each other, the need for comparison diminishes. Instead of looking outward for validation, you can find it within your own relationship.

Additionally, practicing gratitude can help shift your focus away from comparison. By regularly acknowledging and appreciating the positive aspects of your relationship, you can cultivate a sense of contentment and satisfaction. This doesn’t mean ignoring problems or challenges, but rather recognizing that every relationship has its own strengths and weaknesses.

FREE RELATIONSHIP ADVICE CLICK HERE

Conclusion

While it’s natural to compare your relationship with others, it’s important to remember that love is subjective and deeply personal. The next time you catch yourself measuring your relationship against someone else’s, take a step back and remind yourself of what makes your partnership unique. By focusing on the qualities that truly matter, you can build a relationship that is not only strong but also deeply fulfilling, regardless of how it stacks up against others.