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Intimacy Issues Arranged Marriage Couples Face and How to Get Help

All in the Family Counselling

By Haider AliPublished about a year ago 6 min read

Numerous societies have exercised arranged marriages over many centuries. While the concept of an arranged marriage may be alien to some — for many millions of couples, it is a venerated and culturally prescribed approach to finding partnership and forming family. While arranged marriages can provide many advantageous outcomes such as family involvement and shared values, along with long-standing tradition, they may also create their own challenges especially in the realm of intimacy. Identifying and addressing these challenges with professional support can greatly enhance emotional/physical intimacy leading to nurturing, sustainable partnerships.

The Unique Nature of Intimacy in Arranged Marriages

Love marriages, generally take longer to develop and often couples who marry into this relationship type do not have as much time to build the intimacy that emotional or physical before they get hitched. This shift in dynamic can present them with a specific set of hurdles that they need to overcome as partners and build the marriage on every step.

These topics are critical to the development of emotional intimacy.

So how are defined boundaries linked with emotional intimacy, which is the foundation of any successful relationship? It goes deeper, sharing more intimate thoughts, feelings & experiences that generate a real connection. However, in the case of arranged marriages, such emotional intimacy can take a considerable amount time to establish due to absence of pre-marriage bonding. These couples often meet for only a few times before getting married or depend on their families to start the process. That can cause emotional vulnerability and trust to potentially take longer to develop.

Very few couples can openly communicate with each other in such way as to read well whenever they are connected and feel supportive because these essential building blocks require emotions. Not having emotional intimacy can cause immense feelings of loneliness, where you may turn bitter and even question the future with your significant other. But for couples, a cavern of feeling may be running down the middle. Wrapping one another around in opposite space-space quickly feels oh, so much further away than an arm's length and it might leave our hearts hollowed out by disconnection just as gnawing at enjoined possibilityymology.firebaseapp — my own…

Physical Intimacy Challenges

Yet another place where couples seem to have problems, is in physical intimacy. Sometimes the pressure to consummate quickly can cause anxiety, if a person is just getting used to their spouse. So there is this pressure that can lead to performance anxiety, discomfort or even refusing physical affection.

There is also a fair amount of taboo or shame attached to the topic talking about your sexual desires and needs, especially in some cultures which makes it all the more difficult for couples be open with each other regarding what they expect from their physical relationship. For them, libidos are mismatched or under satisfying for one partner (or possibly both, though that is less common) and needful miscommunications remain unexpressed while the intimacy chasm festers more greatly. Those things would tend to constitute "a negative feedback loop," as they say.

Common Intimacy Issues in Arranged Marriages

Your Challenges When It Comes To Intimacy In A Re-Ordered Marriage Here are some common issues:

Fear of Judgment or Rejection

Similarly, much-in-love arranged marriage couples prefer maintaining a level of decorum in their conversations due to the fear that they might be judged or worse still castigated for sharing any personal preference/ inhibition on some other intimate subject. Candid conversations are hampered by this fear and unaddressed issues can pile up over time. But unless you're talking about it openly, your partner won't be able to meet those needs.

Cultural or Family-related expectations

Should there be an expectation of bringing the family in arranged marriage and not from someone already known to you, so that both families expect decent circumstances. These external pressures can get in the way of them learning more about their relationship independent of family roles. Societal norms related to gender roles, household chores and even ways love should be shown can hinder the natural awakening towards a sense of belonging as loving partners.

Inexperience or Ignorance

Additionally, either or both partners in an arranged marriage may be new to physical intimacy. Couples might be unsure how to broach their intimate relationship, which can then lead to feelings of awkwardness or discomfort — perpetuated by latent cultural taboos around sex education. If couples are not confidence to explore their intimate relationship space, they would find themselves avoiding talking this through and it cause them disconnected.

Communication across the chasm

Regardless of how they met, every couple needs to learn this art of communication. But the thing about a lot of arranged-marriage unions is that both might be from completely different backgrounds with possibly entirely opposite upbringings, meaning their style and tendency to communicate can clash. Here, it can be difficult for the couples to share their need or thought even emotion why communication becomes is a major element in forming Intelligent along with physical intimacy.

How Therapy Can Help Improve Intimacy in Arranged Marriages

Intimacy is a complicated part of marriage, but it also takes some knowhow. Couples who have been in arranged marriages or are planning to get into one can use the therapy sessions as a shell where they look at their unique problems and come up strategies for building an emotional and physical bond.

How Counseling Can Help With Emotional Intimacy

This institution provides a secure environment for them to express their own thoughts, feelings and any other worries or concerns they might have without judgment or rejection. To reconcile and relax their emotional needs, a therapist can assist couples to better understand these aspects of one another thus allowing them access the important values like vulnerability needed in creating emotional intimacy.

Emotional intimacy takes time to build, and therapy is the space where couples can start honest conversations about their feelings, desires, values etc. Arranged marriage couples can benefit from therapy to teach them how to communicate better, which will strengthen their emotional bond and encourage mutual support during life's difficulties.

Fix PHYSICAL TOUCH problems

For couples still getting to know one another, physical intimacy can be a complex issue. In a therapeutic setting, couples can get real about their fears and anxieties or the opposite, sexual longings. A therapist can help guide you on ways to discuss difficult issues related to sexual satisfaction, enforcing limits and mutual respect in a way where there will be no break down but encourage resiliency for an active enjoyable intimate life.

Sexual education lies at the heart of therapy as well. Both of you may need Sex Ed 101 on sexual health, and express your physical needs and boundaries to each other directly. This knowledge helps to reduce anxiety, relieving a physical relationship that can be more fulfilling and respectful of couples in therapy.

Managing Societal and Family Pressure

There are therapists who specialize in working with arranged marriage couples, understanding culture and family plays a significant role in the shaping of relationships. Counseling can work toward helping couples manage the undue pressure put on them from everyone else to help those in their family, and allow some room for autonomy even as a married couple.

Therapy addresses cultural influences on relationships and empowers couples to decide for themselves what their own relationship goals are along with expectations, making it easier for them to be less pained by external pressures that effect thier intimate part of the realationship. With families, we help couple therapists offer tools and strategies that can assist in managing family dynamics, helping couples create healthy boundaries for their relationship.

Improving Communication Skills

Communication is key to both emotional and physical intimacy. Couples therapy also teaches couples effective communication styles so that they can effectively express their thoughts, feelings and needs in such a way where closeness and understanding is possible.

Aided by active listening, empathy, and assertiveness; which are essential in enhancing their conflict resolution skills and encouraging better self-disclosure. As we all know, the ar can bring about misunderstandings which are further kindled by impatience and when coming in front of a therapist these discussions or quarrels become much better to bear with a lot more easing from both sides for patiently giving time understanding.

Seeking Help for Intimacy Issues

Are You and Your Partner Struggling With Intimacy in your Arranged Marriage? All in the Family Counselling offers therapy specifically for arranged marriage couples. From emotional distance to physical intimacy problems to communication issues, therapy can help provide the tools and guidance needed for a productive resolution.

Conclusion

Couples in arranged marriages face unique intimacy hurdles but they are not impossible to jump over. Couples that communicate with each other, open up emotionally and have guidance from a professional can form solid emotional connections as well as physical relationships to maintain marital satisfaction over the long haul. Therapy can help you to resolve intimacy issues with your partner in the context of an arranged marriage – if entering therapy, it would offer you greater support and education as well as skills necessary for a healthy relationship between husband and wife so that their lives together are filled with love.

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About the Creator

Haider Ali

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