Crazy Love

Crazy Love
The "neoliberal" urban middle class, defined as those born in the late 1980s and early 1990s, is often regarded to have different matchmaking experiences. This is due to the fact that they are pushing the marriage age to the late 20s and early 30s, as well as the fact that technology is increasingly dictating how individuals experience romance. Swiping "right" or "left" and/or sending "interests" on matrimonial services, for example, are increasingly being used to initiate romantic and matchmaking encounters. People fall in love for companionship which is gradually shifting to something that people learn while they are already living together. This aspect alone has led to increase in number of failed marriages and relationships. In this passage I will present a love story of a person that I respect and grown to understand his decision making process.
The first meeting between two potential spouses now necessarily takes place in the virtual world. Several young people are starting a conversation on matrimonial websites' chat features, or on WhatsApp, Instagram DM, or Facebook Messenger. This means that two people are getting to know each other while relaxing in their own homes or offices. My friend is true description of a youthful, neoliberal middleclass, who happen to embrace virtual dating. He met his wife on a dating site, where they began conversing right after she matched his aspects. My friend is a shy person and internet emotions brought relief to people like him, since they can easily overcome the hesitation and shyness with online/faceless interaction.
With the growing number of online dating site, the original match makers like friends, parents, and relatives are being replaced by match making agencies. With match making agencies all over the internet, chances of going through the traditional courtship process diminish. My friend did not go through the hectic courtship process where before a man got the contacts of a girl he liked, went through thick and thin. Failing to take the process of courtship, diminishes the chances of learning the other partners characters which can later lead to regular disagreements. It did not take long before my friend was swept away by this lady, and at the age of 31, they started living together. If I recall very well it took less than five months from the time she replied his first text.
Combining of two social networks is supposed to provide individuals with increased access to social resources, which is one of the frequently stated health benefits of marriage. Married people or couples that live together on the other hand, may not be taking advantage of these social resources to their full potential. Several have less interaction with their family, companions, and neighbors than their unmarried partners. Albeit wedded couples might turn out to be more detached as they turn to one another, challenges of combining two diverse sets of relatives and friends may also contribute to less contact a bigger social network. Therefore, when my friend started living with his girlfriend, they hardly had mutual friends because they met online and not through a mutual contact. The longer people are together, the more "interdependent" their friendship networks become, with mutual friendship being seen as a sign of relationship commitment.
The notion is consistent with research that shows how loved ones might altogether affect heartfelt connections, both directly (by giving or keeping acknowledgment and backing for the relationship) and by implication (by going about as a sounding board for conjugal issues). The endorsement of a close relationship by network individuals is a strong indicator of its quality and steadiness, with female friends' approval appearing to be particularly crucial. Furthermore, opinions of affection and responsibility, just as relationship fulfillment and soundness, have been connected to continued positive help of the relationship from one's own and one's accomplice's network. Even the perception of a more supportive network help the marriage, as higher perceived social friendship network has been related to a lower aim for separation and detachment.
The downfall of their relationship began after five years of living together. A relationship that had made me trust dating sites was on a rocky ground. My friend cited destructive conflict as the major reason for the downfall. Some hidden characters of his spouse started to show up right after they got their first born. Suddenly they were not in agreement even on slightest things like how to dispose their baby’s diapers. With constant disagreements in the house, he had no other option but to always get home late. Additionally, his wife was telling her close friends more about their marriage which made him uncomfortable. This emphasizes the role of gender in these interactions. Negative perceptions of the spouse, as well as solutions aimed at dissolving rather than improving the relationship, may trigger emotions of anguish among network members, particularly among wives' female confidantes.
With everything out of the closet, they had no reason to push on with their relationship. My friend had to define what he felt was not right between them and recognized the conflicted emotions they were experiencing as a result of this predicament. The biggest puddle was practicing his mindset to ensure his words were not contradictory. Breaking the news on his intention to his spouse was the biggest challenge which he overcame eventually. The two agreed to give each other a break for some time while weighing their options. Taking a break from each other was the suitable solution rather than breaking up, since the two had not grown out love. They needed time away from each other for each to learn the others’ weaknesses and appreciate them.
In conclusion, it evident that technology has had a huge impact on our social interaction. Gone are the days where people used to court for years before they live together. Courtship ensured that people took time in learning their partners before committing. Additionally, match makers are crucial for any relationship to thrive because the match makers are the mutual friends and they will do anything they can to keep their matches together. The perception of a supportive mutual friendship network help the marriage, as higher mutual friendship network support has been related to a lower aim for separation and detachment.

References
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