CHOOSING AN ONLINE PARTNER COULD BE THE BEST CHOICE FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

Planning to get married? Congratulations!! On your promotion from being a graduate of the Bachelor’s University to the University of Marriage. Selecting the right life partner is going to be the most crucial decision that you are going to make in life, and your choice for the right partner in marriage is going to impact the next generation as well.

Coming to the question of selecting the right partner for marriage, takes me down memory lane, 25 years ago, when in India, people had not even heard about something called the internet. Even the ordinary telephone was a luxury, and there was no such thing as a mobile. Indian culture in those days did not encourage open dating as such.

In most Indian communities, marriages were generally arranged between the same communities. Even today, the institution of marriage has not lost its value in Indian society. Though there were inter-community and inter-caste marriages, they were quite rare.

The retired grandmothers, the active mothers, and other uncles and aunties in the family act as matrimonial advisors in their extended families and relations. They have a very strong network in their areas of interest, like social gatherings and temples.

Back to the present, with the changing technology, things have taken a complete U-turn where prospective partners pick up their phones or tablets and log in to Facebook or any online social media platform, chat through a video call, and start getting to know each other better.

Long-distance relationships are becoming more common, particularly after the pandemic, breaking distance barriers in a relationship. Those interested in getting married browse through each other’s profiles and decide whether to go ahead or not.

Breaking through the physical barriers of geographical distances, we are protected against the fallacy of falling in love at first sight as we have an opportunity to understand the other person through meaningful conversations that help judge his/her personality.

A marriage is a long-term relationship between two people who are committed to spending their lives together for eternity, in times of good and bad. This makes it more important to make the right choice about the partner in marriage. Rather than being swayed by short-term emotions and getting hitched, one should spend more time and energy trying to find that special someone.

It is said that opposites attract in marriage like a magnet, and some of the most successful and happy marriages are among those who are opposite in their personalities. Though it may be one of the characteristics of a successful marriage, true happiness comes from unconditional love and acceptance between the partners.

So spend a lot of time with the person of your choice and take your own time to decide whether you want to spend the rest of your life with them or not.

Rules to transform a long-distance relationship into a long term marriage relationship:

Assuming that you have shortlisted your future life partner and that person seems to be the match for your life, but is living far away from you and you still have your doubts because of the geographical boundaries. What if this person is really your soul mate?

You may be surprised at how much a relationship can grow into a healthy one if you work at it in the right manner. If you know and apply some simple rules, your relationship can turn out to be one of the most successful and happy relationships that ever existed.

Distance, combined with phone calls and electronic writing or through regular mail, (20 years back it was the perfumed pen and the special perfumed paper that carried words of love) can foster an enviable intimacy, which results from learning about another's qualities, values, feelings, dreams and aspirations, etc.

This type of intimacy can make your coming together much more special and lay the foundation for a successful marriage based on intrinsic values. And, as if relationships weren't complicated enough, having them over long distance is extremely challenging.

How to strengthen the quality of your long-term relationship:

1. The quality of a relationship is more likely to increase if both people develop the ability to share feelings through honest, open communication with each other.

Do not be afraid to tell your partner what you really need and want from him or her, he or she deserves to know the truth and judge whether they can give it to you. Right communication is one of the most important factors that impact any relationship. It becomes more important once the partners get married and settle down.

2. Make the relationship a high priority rather than work. Give more priority to reunite and a phone call from him/her rather than the assignment your boss has assigned to you at the end of the day which is not in your daily schedule.

Forming this habit as a part of your commitment toward your partner will be an asset for you once you get married. This would go a long way in creating a balanced work relationship and reducing stress levels later on in life once the family expands.

3. Keep in touch daily. If large phone bills are a concern, send e-mail, e-cards, or even a Whatsapp chat or a message on FB. And when you do make contact, don't just stick to love talk, but keep each other informed on the day-to-day aspects of your lives.

This way each of you is aware of how the other is thinking, feeling, and developing. Late-night talks and thoughtful letters or E-mails can convey a lot of what is most important to you and your partner. your goals, values, and dreams.

4. Be prepared to be flexible. Tell your partner of how much you think about and love him or her and you will score some important points. Make them miss you more and you’ll fill them with the constant urge to see you. But don't be possessive. Being paranoid will only grow doubts, insecurity, and tension between you and your partner.

5. If your partner truly misses you and wants to be with you, and is ready to make the commitment to enter the University of Marriage, then they would not want to wait forever to have you next to her or him. As long as you both trust each other, it is the right time to take the decision. The biggest dilemma is always who pops the question first.

Ultimately, a fabulous relationship is your goal in life right? Then why not undertake the journey and make the right choice of the right partner today?

Any relationship is like a garden and takes a commitment from both partners to remove the weeds that creep into the relationship from time to time. A healthy relationship cannot be taken for granted.