Carefully_Kept_Pain

1.

A beautiful morning had just begun in the city of Geneva, Switzerland. The sun had risen in the cold city as if it was laughing, a sight cherished by the inhabitants of Switzerland, where the sun is a welcome relief in the cold. The warmth of the sun is as comforting as the joy parents feel when a newborn arrives, just as the people of this country rejoice at the sight of the newly risen sun.

“Moon, why are you here so early today?”

Chandni was sitting on a beautiful wooden bench, watching the soft flow of Lake Geneva before her. The lake seemed to encapsulate the beauty of the city of Geneva, a serene sight that calmed the mind. Her tranquil thoughts were interrupted by an English male voice, speaking Bengali in a rather peculiar way. She turned to see Lucif Nerio, a handsome Englishman, standing nearby. His light green eyes were gleaming, and he was wearing a brown T-shirt under an open, thick denim jacket. He stood as tall as the mountains of Switzerland.

Chandni smiled slightly at Lucif and replied, “I woke up early, so I came here. Why are you here so early?”

Lucif sat beside her. His extremely fair face had turned red from the cold, and he spoke with his bright red lips moving, "Aren't you going to the boutique house today?"

"I will. I'll go later."

“Didn't Twinkle say you would go to a Bengali restaurant today?”

Chandni often got annoyed with Lucif’s poor pronunciation of Bengali, and today was no exception. She frowned and corrected him, “It’s not ‘Vangali,’ it’s ‘Bengali.’ B-E-N-G-A-L-I. Okay?”

Lucif smiled sheepishly and scratched his head, trying to cover his embarrassment. “Sorry, I actually want to speak Bengali like you.”

“Lucif, it’s not ‘Vangla,’ it’s ‘Bangla.’”

Chandni’s stern voice made Lucif lower his head like a defeated soldier. He apologized, “Sorry, sorry. My mistake. Don’t get mad, my sweet Moon.”

Chandni couldn't stay angry hearing Lucif’s soft, apologetic tone. She laughed, and looking at Lucif reminded her of her old, innocent lover Mrinmoy, who used to fear her anger in the same way. He did so much just to make sure Chandni wouldn’t be upset. But now…

A deep sigh escaped her and merged with the biting cold wind of Geneva. Perhaps no one had sighed as much on this foreign soil as this foreign girl.

As Chandni was lost in thought, a lively girl came running. Wearing a cap, boots, and a large white jacket, the girl almost looked lost in her clothes. She came running and sat between Chandni and Lucif without any permission. Swaying a little, she said, “Hey, Mr. Lucif, what’s the story of you being here so early?”

Lucif moved away a little, his face darkening, and said, “Twinkle, don’t suddenly come and interrupt like this.”

Twinkle was surprised by Lucif’s irritated tone. She squinted at him and said, “Wow, Lucif! Where did you learn this—about interrupting?”

Lucif made a face and said, “From you.”

“Seriously? If you learned from me, you should have learned it all. Why did you only learn half of it? It’s not called interrupting; it’s called inserting your left hand. Got it? When someone interferes in something, it’s called inserting your left hand. Okay? Remember that? If you’re going to say it, say it fully. Don’t insult me by saying only half.”

Lucif nodded like a wise person, indicating that he understood. Chandni burst into laughter at Twinkle’s antics. There was something lively and mischievous about the girl.

Thinking of Chitra made Chandni feel sad. She had a strong desire to talk to Chitra, so she called her. As usual, the phone rang, but there was no response. This had been happening for so many days. The girl who used to forget the world and run when she got a call now didn’t even glance at her phone, even after a thousand calls. Was this their fate?

---

In the sweltering heat of June, the temperature had risen unusually high in this city. There was no electricity at home, and the generator wasn’t working, creating a stifling atmosphere in the Soudagar household. For a long time, Munia Begum had been knocking on her daughter’s door. How long had it been? Four or five minutes at least. Sweat had started to appear on her forehead from worry. These days, her daughter took so long to open the door! One day, the anxiety might just take Munia Begum’s breath away.

After exactly six minutes, Chitra finally opened the door lazily. Standing there, her face was covered in sweat. The hair on her forehead was plastered with sweat, and her shoulder-length hair was disheveled. Her eyes were swollen beyond recognition. But this was nothing new; it had become a daily routine.

Munia Begum sighed heavily and approached her daughter. She gently tidied the hair on Chitra’s forehead, pouring out all the affection she had in her heart. As she arranged her daughter’s shoulder-length hair, she said, “The electricity’s been out for a while. How did you sleep in this heat?”

Chitra’s voice was detached, her eyes filled with exhaustion. She replied, “There’s no electricity?”

Her mother’s busy hands paused at her question. Munia Begum stared at her daughter, speechless. After a moment of struggle, she managed to say, “Didn’t you notice the electricity was out?”

Chitra shook her head slowly, indicating she hadn’t noticed.

Munia Begum felt more exhausted than ever, more tired than even her daughter’s weariness. In a simple voice, she asked, “Did you take sleeping pills again last night?”

Chitra nodded again, like a person lost in a daze.

Munia Begum felt deeply pained. With concern, she said, “If you keep taking so many sleeping pills, you won’t survive, my dear!”

“Who wants to survive, Mom? I don’t.”

It was as if Munia Begum’s heart had stopped. She was helpless in the face of her child’s sorrow. She scolded her, “What are you saying? Don’t say such things, dear.”

“Okay.” Chitra agreed like a well-behaved child, but her mother knew these words were empty, just spoken out of habit. Munia Begum silently regretted it, praying for her daughter’s well-being, mentally bowing her head in prayer to the Creator.

Munia Begum placed a table fan from the floor into Chitra’s room. The girl would have to lie in the heat otherwise. As she left, she asked her to keep the door open. Chitra nodded in agreement, but as soon as her mother left, she locked the door. Even if someone called from outside, she didn’t respond. With unsteady steps, she walked to the veranda and then slowly lay down flat on the floor. She turned her head to look at the faded, old two-story house across the street. A lock had been hanging on that house’s door for more than two years, gathering rust. But there had been no movement in her young heart’s love.

As she stared at the house, her eyes grew tired. The girl didn’t even blink. The bright, sunny sky turned cloudy, and after a while, it started to rain. Even the unexpected rain didn’t make Chitra move. She was getting wet, but from the next veranda, Munia Begum kept calling her daughter. She warned her, saying, “Dear, you have a cold. Get up from the floor. The cold has settled in your chest. If you catch another cold, pneumonia will get worse. Please, get up.”

Without looking at her mother, Chitra smiled. She mumbled, “Who said the cold has settled in my chest? My chest is filled with Bahar Bhai and separation, Mom. Your doctor doesn’t understand love. He just handed over some medicine. Foolish doctor! Have you ever heard of love or a lover being erased by taking medicine? You’re all worried about pneumonia, but I’m burning with the fever of separation, and you have no clue. Let it be pneumonia, Mom. Let me get drenched in the rain. Bahar Bhai liked the rain. How can I not get drenched in the rain he liked?”

Chitra’s muttered words didn’t reach the other veranda. Munia Begum kept calling, and soon Tuhin joined in. But did Chitra listen?

She stared at the rain without blinking. She muttered, “Rain, touch him for me. Let him know—what pain I harbor in this heart.”

To be continued...