Because of marriage AA, she made a joke of her life

Because of marriage AA, she made a joke of her life

When friends and colleagues go out to party, they pay AA. I think this is understandable. After all, it is not easy for everyone to make money. The AA system between friends is to have no human burden between each other; Couples go Dutch. Are you kidding? Money can, but heart, love and affection, how to AA?

Two couples practice AA, which is rare in life. However, there is such a couple beside me who have been practicing AA in their marriage for more than 20 years. It was a marriage that, to the outside world, seemed so harmonious that men and women did their jobs. But only I understand that all that is false. In Japanese words this is a joke, and I know this is a mistake but did not end the courage. She is my real aunt.

Aunt graduated from junior high school to Shenzhen to work, not two years on the big uncle. Those years a lot of girls who go out to work, met the boys in other provinces so ran with people, as married. A marriage without the blessing of parents, relatives and friends is doomed to be unhappy. But the young aunt in order to love without turning back, even if parents and relatives opposed, even if there is no bride price, even if there is no dowry, just because the other party will be a good commitment to their own.

At the beginning of the aunt also wrote home, back to grandpa grandma to send some living expenses, to later directly lost contact, no matter how we can not find. Later, I realized that the years when my aunt lost contact with me were her most difficult days. No matter how hard it is, I dare not say to my family, because this is the way I chose, and I have to finish crying. Both of them are ordinary workers, so their income is not high. Soon after her marriage, my aunt gave birth to two sons. Big Uncle's hometown is in a remote mountain village in Gansu province. His aunt had gone back once when they were married and never returned to that remote place after the banquet.

The cost of living in first-tier cities is already high. With the income of my aunt and her husband, they cannot afford to buy a house, so they have been renting a house for more than 20 years. There was no one to take the boys, so uncle Took his mother. The old man has been living with them for nearly 20 years now. The couple's life did not become easier because of the elderly's support, but more expenses. Because she agreed to help with the two children, but the couple will pay her a basic salary. The reason is that the elderly have an income from farming at home, so they can no longer help raise their children in the city. And so the life of AA began.

The big uncle thought the baby was for two, and that each should take care of one, including his mother's child care. So his mother's monthly salary was half for each person, from a few hundred yuan at the beginning to 1,000 yuan now. It is the old man who buys food and cooks for the family. Every day, the old man buys food and cooks for the family and other living expenses will be accounted for. The couple pays the old man once a week. The children's tuition and living expenses as well as the rent of their two rooms and one hall are also shared equally by the couple.

The elder aunt is responsible for all the expenses of the elder son, while the elder uncle is responsible for the younger son. This includes everything from clothes, shoes, snacks and toys. Once my aunt went to work on night shift, the eldest son needed to pay several hundred yuan to ask his father. Result his father say you be: your mother tube of, I tube not, want money can wait you mother to go off work only. Because of this sentence, a man leng made his son cry, from then on the relationship between father and son estranged. In the end, the material fee was given by the child's grandmother, but on the second day the aunt returned the money to the old man. Therefore, the aunt and her husband ruthlessly quarreled.

Aunt said with a bitter smile, because of the marriage of AA, so that their life has become a joke. She knew her husband was unreliable, so she was careful with every penny. Now she has paid enough social security in the factory for 20 years, and her aunt's future pension is no longer a worry. But nearly 50 years old aunt into the regular factory, can only face retirement. But she still chose to go to work in a small factory, low wages do not matter as long as help pay social security on the line. The eldest son has been working for two years, and mother and son have bought a house in a third-tier city with a mortgage. I think the only person my aunt can rely on from now on is her eldest son.

Marriage is a community. If AA is adopted, it loses its meaning. It's already very unreasonable in terms of having a baby. Because the wife is suffering childbirth pain, can a man share half? Two people have a reasonable division of labor, a person outside, a person inside, each other are paying. Too much separation, two people will not love, too much dependence, two people will be out of balance. Mastering dynamic balance is the key to a successful marriage.

Why is splitting the bill bad?

1. In practice, many things in marriage are not clearly distinguished and can not be AA operated.

In daily life, going Dutch makes the couple have no warmth.

3. Going Dutch will gradually consume the trust and love of the couple.

4. It affects children's physical and mental health and makes them lack of sense of security.

5. Losing the meaning of marriage.

As a small group, the family should have a special family account. Before I got married, my husband and I agreed that the family would be a joint operation, and that a family account would have to be set up and managed by one person.

For example, my husband and I will deposit our work income into our family account in proportion every month, and other income will be at our own disposal. My husband and I report the accounting situation every three months, and the family account book can be used together, so both parties can see every consumption and expenditure intuitively.

I think this way is good for the harmony of our family. Husband and wife are equal in the family. On the premise that everyone has stable jobs and earning ability, there is no need to depend on each other.