When The Health Of Someone You Love Changes.

When my husband was discharged from the hospital, he was so weak that he couldn't walk for a long time. It was also discovered that the illness had worsened all of his disabilities left behind by a brain tumour operation from when he was young, and we found out that there were more disabilities that we never knew were going to arise from the same thing.

I support my husband mainly by myself today, and it can be painful to see that strong person I knew so well in a position where the least little thing puts him in agonizing pain.

The most tear-jerking moments are when he wakes with night terrors and when he tries to do the things he could once do, only to find it puts him in more pain.

He also suffers from sleep paralysis.

Sleep paralysis is not a myth as it has been described. It has little to do with demons taking over the body.

Sleep paralysis is terrifying for both the person going through it and their partners.

It starts as a night terror, in which your partner will scream, shout, and maybe even sit up in strange positions. He/she may lash out at you initially and be unable to move from their position.

They may seem to wake up, yet still be asleep.

When awake, they may appear confused by their surroundings and not understand what has happened to them.

These situations are terrifying for the person going through it and require lots of patience and a calm voice.

Please do not shout at them. If they are confused, they may lash out at you through fear.

My partner also has tremors, which usually affect his legs at night more than during the day. He will often shake and kick out. He is on medication, but they don't always control it.

I get kicked by him often, and I have to move away to sleep safely, leaving me feeling guilty and sad because I can't stop the movements.

All of these health changes that my husband has experienced have left me feeling shocked.

They are hard to accept.

There are days when I wish I could go back to the time when my husband was strong and healthy.

Those days when he would come home after a hard day's work as a nurse and tell me about his job.

My husband had worked in nursing for over 31 years. He has nursed many different people in different settings, and he has been a senior nurse and has worked in management.

He has looked after some celebrities and their families.

He even worked in rehabilitation, where he looked after people who had drug and alcohol addictions, and one of those people was a very well-known celebrity.

However, now he needs support; the only real support he has is me.

I feel a little lost, though every day I wake up, I try to do my best, which is all I can do. However, I fight with accepting things as they are because my brain is still trying to process what has happened.

Many years ago, I was in a very severe state with my mental health. I almost died from being on the streets, and I was admitted to a hospital where I met my husband, who helped me to protect myself from the ongoing abuse that was happening there.

He was my registered carer for a while after that, and now I find myself in his shoes. I am still recovering from the PTSD brought on from that time, which means I have to work twice as hard to maintain my mental health.

I do a good job, but I spent many years depending on my husband to look after me; whilst I no longer need to do that, it is a big shock for someone who has been through so much with her husband to suddenly go from being cared for to the carer.

When I started recovering, I never dreamed that one day I'd be the one caring for him because of his disabilities.

I certainly did not expect those disabilities to be severely limiting for him.

I love being able to help and support my husband, though I don't like to see him in all this pain and having to deal with the horrible neurological problems that these disabilities have brought on.

However, I will keep supporting him because he is my husband, and I do love him, but I don't think that I will ever be able to come to terms with how much these disabilities have changed him.

It's devastating for anyone to go through.