Was Interacting with People Always This Exhausting?

Between pandemic fatigue, the arrival of spring, and expanding access to vaccines, more and more of us are emerging from our homes and – gasp – actually spending time with other people. While many epidemiologists are saying this is a bad idea (a race between vaccinations and COVID-19 mutations, which according to the latest headlines we are losing) it hasn’t been enough to slow the tide of businesses opening up and people socializing more.

I’m still not eligible for a vaccine for a few more weeks, but I’m fortunately not in a high-risk category. And although I mask and social distance, I too am feeling antsy and wanting to get out more. It hasn’t even been a crushingly cold winter, but like everyone else, I’m sick of living on Zoom and want to interact in person with fellow human beings if possible.

BUT.

Holy cow, is it exhausting.

I mean, I’m an introvert to begin with, so not spending time with human beings hasn’t been quite as awful for me as for some people. It’s always been draining for me to be around too many people for too long. And it’s not like I’m going to wild parties now.

It’s just that my tolerance for company has plummeted. In the last couple weeks, I’ve had three interactions, each with one person at a time:

One, with my hairdresser, at her home salon

Two, a visit to a museum exhibition with a friend

Three, ice cream and chatting with a friend

Not exactly heavy lifting, as social interactions go. And each one lasted no more than about an hour and a half. But let me tell you, I was ready for a nap afterwards. Maybe it was the stimulation of being in a place other than home. Maybe it was the physical presence of a person I had to attend to. I’m not sure, but I feel like once we get to some kind of regular social life, I’m going to need to ramp up gradually.

I'm beginning to wonder:

Is this it? Am I officially a recluse now? Or will I build up my tolerance for people, like a drug?

It’s not just me. According to this boston.com article, “What will returning to normal feel like?” we may feel a variety of emotions as we begin to venture out into society again. That is, of course, assuming you’ve been staying home and not pretending there is no pandemic or that you and all your family and friends are somehow immune, or that over 550,000 deaths in the U.S. alone is shrug, No Biggie.

The point is, like it or not, our lives have experienced major upheaval over the past year. And it will likely continue for some time. For some of us it’s been more traumatic than for others, but there’s no denying it’s been weird, folks.

Maybe we aren’t going to just pop back into normal life like we took a long vacation to a place that wasn’t really that nice and where we never want to go again. Whew – Glad to be home! Humans have an amazing ability to adapt, but we need transition time. If you are one of those people emerging into daylight like kids running out the door on the last day of school before summer vacation – good for you!

But if, like me, you are taking a little longer to transition; if you don’t necessarily want to rush out and club together with a bunch of people, that’s okay too. One of the blessings of staying at home has been our ability to unplug from certain routines and obligations. We have had a chance to look over our lives, and see what’s working, and where we might want to make some changes.

We might choose to be more mindful of who we spend time with, of what we do and where we go. We might, for a while, be more appreciative of new connections. Even old activities may take on new luster as we appreciate more the things we took for granted, pre-pandemic.

But yeah, it’s gonna take some getting used to. I like my long solitary walks, the lack of expectation to socialize, the time I’ve had to dive into my towering To Be Read pile. I don’t want to be an actual hermit, though, nor do I want to lose my social skills. I’m going to have to find a new balance. I have to accept that “coming out of pandemic fatigue” is as real for me as “pandemic fatigue” is. I will plan my outings carefully and continue to savor my solitude.

Since I’m not eligible for the vaccine for another month, and it will likely be a while after that before I can actually schedule a shot… I’ve got some time to deal with it.

Better pull out the next book…