Walk Into Mindfulness

Throughout my life, my mother has been one of my greatest sources of inspiration. A practical woman, she more often than not, has a practical answer to most problems. One of her more popular solutions to anything negative that occurs in ones life, is to pull on her favourite pair of water proof, ready for anything, walking shoes and go for a walk.

In the summer of 2017 after a series of unfortunate events in my life, I found myself in a dark place, struggling with my mental health as I never had before. That summer, my mother was my saviour and we walked the length and breadth of Northern Ireland together with my two year old son. Whenever I felt as though the darkness in my mind was growing to the point where it could overwhelm and swallow me whole, my mother would arrive at my door, always smiling and we would walk for miles until the darkness receded and gave way to light.

One day, as we strolled around Antrim Castle Gardens, I found myself crying harder with every step I took. I told my mother that the hardest part of all of this for me was the wondering; Why was this happening to me? Did I deserve it? Had I done some horrible thing in a past life or even this one to deserve the seemingly never ending pain that stabbed at my mind like a knife? I could find no answer. She listened, let me talk for as long as I needed to and then she told me a story, one that has stayed with me always, one that still has me reaching for my own walking shoes even now when physical illnesses have limited the miles I can go on my own two feet.

When I was four years old, my aunt was dying from a rare and aggressive form of cancer. Our family was devastated as any family would have been, but it was made particularly poignant by the reality that this had happened to a woman who was the living embodiment of the milk of human kindness. Never had a more gentle and loving being, graced this earth. The unfairness of her illness ripped through our lives like a cancer of its own. One evening, my mother returned from her sister's bedside enraged by this. She put our dog on a leash and went out to brave the Autumn weather. Through the rain and the wind she headed for her favourite route around the river close to our home and blazed along the trail weeping and howling out to God, "Why?" Why her sister? Why our family? How could this be allowed to happen to such a beautiful woman who had never been anything but loving? To her astonishment, as the wind swirled around her, suddenly there was a calm and on that wind came an answer, "Why not?" The way my mother describes it is that the answer was not unkind nor was it judgemental. It was simply honest. Why not? There was peace in that answer for my mother. She walked on, listening to the wind, to the sound of the trees creaking around her, to her footsteps on the hardened path and the river rising with the beating rain. It did not lessen the sting of her impending loss, but it made what was happening as manageable as anything that monumental can be.

Life, is hard. Living, carrying on, simply being at times can feel impossible. It may seem like such an easy thing to say but sometimes, a simple walk, though it may not cure your ails, can ease your mind.

Over the years since that summer, I have developed my own system for walking into mindfulness.

The first step, is to decide upon your route, this can help if you are someone who suffers from anxiety. Planning where you are going to go and estimating how long it will take you, can bring a sense of stability.

Next, do as my mother would, select your favourite pair of walking shoes, make sure they're water proof and suitable for all surfaces, because even if you know your route well, you never know what may turn up along the way.

Take five deep breaths before you walk out your front door to centre your physical self and on the fifth exhale, step outside.

If you're the kind of person that finds music peaceful then pop in those ear buds and select something that uplifts you. It might not be to everyone's taste but that doesn't matter, the important thing is that it helps you. Try and steer away from anything that might bring your mood down and use the music as a tool to change the way your mind is thinking. An uplifting song, will uplift your mood. While you listen to the music, try and use the rest of your sense to take in your visual surroundings, stop and inhale the smell of the freshly cut grass, the flowers or the sea air. Take a moment and watch the birds spreading their wings and soaring through the sky and try to feel their freedom. I have included a few of my favourite tracks in a playlist attached to this article, to give you an idea of the music I find helpful on my own walks.

Music doesn't work for everyone. Some people prefer the natural sounds around them. In this case, clear your mind as much as possible of all the negativity that has been building there by focusing on your breathing and the sound of your breath as you walk. Find five things that awaken all five of your senses and let those become your anchor. Run your hand through the leaves of a tree, smell the lingering rain on the ground, listen for the crunch of the gravel under your feet, taste the fresh air around you as you breathe in and look for the smallest details that peek your interest, perhaps it will be the fish jumping in the river, or the magnificent colours of the setting sun.

Drink in the natural beauty and wonder of the world that you live in and let it invade your mind until it chases away the darkness there.

Lastly, find something memorable in your walk. It doesn't have to be a memory that lasts a lifetime (or maybe it will be) it just has to be something that you can hold onto once you return home and close the door, something that even for the briefest moment, brought you joy. A little slice of mindfulness that you can draw upon when things become difficult again.

This is how I, walk into mindfulness and I hope, my dearest reader, that in times of darkness, this simple guide, through a simple walk, can help you walk into mindfulness too.