To the People Who Used to Know Me

I once lived in a mindset that I truly believed that the positive things about me I gained from others, whom I would spend countless hours conscious and unconscious of all of my decisions that I was making.

As humans I believe we have become accustom to the programming truly brought on by a small net group of humans that legit have control over the smallest, yet simplest forms of life.

It is the view on love.

I have spent the better part of the last year going through all of my "positive" and "negative" life choices. My darkness had overpowered my light. Now please note my that my language may be specific to a target audience at this time in our modern day. I do hope that one day my words resonate with every human to an extent in someway shape or form.

My name is Mama Tess. I am a spiritual leader in human form.

I lead with my heart chakra and play close attention to my mental and physical symptoms and I know I used to view this as a downfall in the "personality" of this human avatar that I now embody in this life.

On October 2, 2018, I woke up and began my day like I always had. I had my three alarms that would go off and I would hit snooze on each of them. Why? I would begin by reviewing my every single step I had made the day before, surrounded by worry of not being of authentic service to others.

The key to this, is I had been wrapped up in a hurricane of emotions that I kept pushing and locking up in a box to be dealt with at another time, since childhood, trauma as an adult, I kept pushing them down and down.

Hurricane Tessa came out when I stepped out on the ice that night, in full force.

You see, when I was a teen I was involved in competitive figure skating. I did it until my heart wasn't in it anymore. When I was 34 I decided to sign up and get back to my roots and become familiar to what used to ground me. I stepped on the ice and remembered the feeling of comfort that was brought on by just the smell of ice in the hockey arena. I was having an argument with my guides in my head and guess what? At the time, I thought I lost.

I was a single mother to a beautiful soul, had my home open to my friends in need, I lived on a community built on love mindset. I think of all of us in that position and truly believe that the intentions were from a place of purity. Had an extremely respectable and high opportunistic role in my professional life which encased a tremendous amount of stress that I now see this last year as a blessing, in so many ways.

When I stepped on the ice and began to warm up, I remember pushing forward with each stride of the blade on the ice, I picked up speed because I loved to feel the wind on my face. I was doing what the technical name is called a "cross over" where you place one foot over the other and provides a way to turn direction easily. I closed my eyes and remember opening them up and I was lying on the ice, my head flung backward very hard and fast, twice. My brain flung to the front of my skull and I felt it peel off for the next month (terrible feeling, do not wish on anyone). The next couple weeks reside a dense fog that one day I know I will purge out of me when the time is right.

The weeks that followed taught me that I have a divine connection with spirit and instead of running from it for the rest of my life I am embracing it. It all resides within.

I felt compelled and placed boundaries within my personal life with guidance of the higher self. I try to check in with her every night when I go to sleep and go to my pink planet of peace and love that yes I truly believe was once, the lost city of Atlantis. (writing for another time)

Now I know my writing bounces from topic to topic, and I believe the people who really know me, love that about me.

This is me, this are my words, I know it is just the beginning; I am shy, I am here, I have experiences that will help people, and for now I want to help educate each one of us in so many areas. Mental Health (ALL ASPECTS), helping bring the Feminine Energy into a world where so much intention is skewed and misunderstood. Post Concussion syndrome, all aspects of health and how the simplest of treatments that everyone knows but live in a world where time is a fast energy and where the energy of money has fed greed and ego.

Don't feel too bad, you reside in a human avatar as well.

I have a lot to say and I do hope this brings a good amount of curiosity on my journey of finding my Values and Beliefs, implementing them into my day to day practice; while rising to the true woman I am.

Thank you for providing a safe space for my words and for reading them.

xo Mama Tess