The Time The E.R. Ignored My Kidney Stones Still Haunts Me

It's been quite a few years since my first run-in with kidney stones, and honestly, the experience still haunts me. Just imagine all-but-crawling into the emergency room with crippling abdominal pain, only to be given a prescription for pain meds, no examination, and shooed away like some pill-popper going through withdrawal.

Well, that was my very first kidney stone experience in a nutshell. I remember being in indescribably terrible pain and left wondering whether I was making it up in my own head. Fortunately (and unfortunately), although the pain eventually subsided on the day I visited the ER, it reemerged just two days later with a major vengeance.

I started to go back to the ER, but since I had essentially been given a pat on my head and told to follow up with my primary, I did just that. After taking the time to actually examine me, my primary expressed concern that I may be having some type of serious issue that may have needed immediate medical attention. He scheduled an ultrasound and some other testing, which did serve to quell my anxiety at least. After all, there was no explanation for the pain so, I suppose it was possible that I was perfectly fine and was somehow psyching myself out.

I Was NOT OK...Trust Me

Although I was still in pain, I tried to go about my life as usual for the next 24 hours. However, the phone call I received the next afternoon changed everything.

You have three large renal calculi on your left side. You need to get to the ER immediately before you lose your kidney!

Everything after that was a blur. I vaguely remember touching bases with my mom to ensure that she could keep my kids while I got myself to the hospital. I was frantic and fearful at first; however, once I thought about the fact that I was turned away from the ER days prior without so much as a general examination, I became infuriated.

Moreover, you'd probably think I was lying if I told you that the same doctor walked into the room right after I had been admitted, turned beet red, and quickly exited the room, literally never to be seen again. I'm not sure where she went or what she was feeling, but it was still no consolation for what I had been through.

Medical Racism

Without hearing her side of things, clearly, I can only speculate. And while I can never be certain why I was left in the waiting room hunched over, pacing back and forth from the window to the bathroom for hours before being booted from the ER, I can say that I do have a hunch. Unfortunately, there is a bias against Black women. For whatever reason, some people have gone through medical school and spent years practicing medicine, all while believing that Black women are impervious to pain.

No matter the reason, studies have shown that Black and Hispanic people receive worse care on 40% of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' care quality measures. Additionally, in general, women are much more likely to have their pain ignored in medical institutions; women are likely to receive sedatives rather than pain medications and wait approximately 6-minutes longer than their male counterparts to be treated for symptoms such as abdominal pain. As a Black woman who has dealt with a fibroid, kidney stones, and other painful abdominal issues, this is absolutely infuriating! And sadly, no matter how much progress we seem to make as a nation, it seems that this matter is still not being properly addressed.

Distrust in the Medical Community

Although I made the proper choices to ensure that my kidney stones were addressed, I still have major distrust in the medical community. Just thinking about how I was sent home with massive kidney stones without a second thought makes me suspicious of every new ER experience.

Either way, I encourage everyone to never leave their medical care solely in the hands of the professionals. If you are in need of urgent medical attention, visit your ER or urgent care center immediately and don't take no for an answer. Your very life may depend on it!