The Elusive Quest for a Perfect Self-Care Routine: A Reflection

There is a quiet myth that drifts through conversations about wellbeing: the notion that somewhere out there, a perfect self-care routine awaits discovery. Any scroll across most social media feeds will be fulfilled with people saying that one thing can reduce the stress and anxiety in your life. There are thousands products to designed to introduced self-care from lotions and potion to products and apps. That you spend a small fortune one.

For many—especially those living with AuHD—this myth is more persistent, more tantalizing, and at times, more discouraging. The journey toward understanding and honouring your mental battery, as introduced through occupational therapy, can feel uncertain and nonlinear, marked by both small triumphs and gentle setbacks. As brain is in constant tug war from trying to kept everything the same to the constantly craving novelty .

Accepting Imperfection

To ask oneself, “Do I have to accept that I will never create a perfect self-care routine?” is to step closer to truth. Perfection in self-care is a mirage; what matters is the ongoing practice, the willingness to adapt, and the compassion shown to oneself on days when the routine unravels or the mind feels too weary to follow through.

Your experience—setting up activities, crashing after a busy week, talking with your occupational therapist, and seeking solace in a bath only to falter—reflects a very human pattern. It is not a failure, but a living testament to the complexity of self-care for those whose mental battery ebbs and flows in ways not always predictable or explainable.

The Mental Battery: A New Perspective

When first introduced to the concept of mental battery, it can be both a relief and a challenge. It gives language to an invisible exhaustion, validating the moments when you feel drained without obvious cause. I have introduced the concept of spoons before but something about mental battery just clicked more to me.

But it also asks for a new kind of awareness—a self-inventory that can feel overwhelming. Activities, even those chosen with care, sometimes deplete rather than restore, and recognizing this is a quiet victory. Recognising the signs when your battery is running low and ways to combat and build their battery is great way to support your mental health.

Setbacks and Small Victories

The weeks after this revelation may be marked by experimentation: a handful of hopeful activities, unexpected crashes, and honest conversations with your therapist. These are not signs of imperfection, but of learning. Each attempt—whether it brings renewal or disappointment—adds to your understanding of what truly replenishes you.

When you feel drained after work and plan a bath, only to find yourself unable to get into the right mindset, remember: the act of trying matters. When something does not feel right. Something designed to recharge actually drains is terrible feeling. The intention to care for yourself holds weight, even when the result is elusive.

Moving Forward with Compassion

Self-care for people with AuHD is not a rigid blueprint, but a living, breathing practice. It will change with seasons, circumstances, and needs. Accepting imperfection does not mean giving up; it means freeing yourself from unrealistic expectations and allowing space for genuine rest, gentle experimentation, and recovery.

Speak kindly to yourself on the days when your battery runs low and your routine falters. Celebrate the moments when you try, when you reflect, when you seek support. I know this way easier said than done. But remember it is important to have list of activities and one bad experience with an activities do not mean that it never works again.

Conclusion

You do not have to accept a static vision of self-care. Instead, embrace its fluidity, its imperfection, and its capacity to evolve with you. The journey is ongoing, and every experience—whether draining or uplifting—is a meaningful step along the way.Allow yourself grace, and trust that self-care is not measured in perfection, but in the courage to care for yourself, imperfectly and persistently, again and again.