The Discipline of Self-Love

The buzzword “self-care” has become synonymous with relaxing indulgences or guilty pleasures one can enjoy only in moderation. While the activities made popular by the self-care buzz have their place and benefits, there is another practice that will do more for one’s mind, body, and soul than a bubble bath or massage ever could. It is a simple, all-encompassing practice guaranteed to improve the quality of all other aspects of life. Discipline. Discipline is the purest form of self-care; no one knows this better than Nick Sella, and for Nick, his discipline is running.

According to his wife, Mary, running is like breathing to Nick. Just as breathing is essential for humans to function, so too is running for Nick. What started as a way to keep active in college has now grown into a dedicated discipline that has impacted every other aspect of his life. After competing in his first race in 1990, Nick thought to himself, “Can I go further?” With every 5k, 10k, and marathon, the question arose, and the answer was always, “Yes!”

Thirty-five years later, Nick has become more secure in his discipline, running a 50k every Saturday morning, 20-30 miles during the week, and even swimming every Friday. Something very special happens to your thoughts, confidence, and consciousness when you not only keep the promises made to yourself to get out of bed and “do it” but also challenge yourself to go further. The literal challenge of running further distances posed other questions for Nick. The thought, “Can I run 50 miles?” quickly resulted in Nick completing a 150-mile run in five days in the mountains of North Carolina. Eventually, that question turned into, “If I can run 150 miles over several days, why can’t I start my own business?”

This mindset led to a thriving IT consulting business, proving that discipline and determination translates across all areas of life. When you start showing up for yourself consistently, you begin to trust yourself. You start to believe it when you tell yourself you’re going to do or achieve something. The experience of showing up for yourself breeds confidence and ambition to attain even more than you thought possible. You understand that you are capable of accomplishing anything, so when you hear the misguided opinion that there is something you can’t do, proving that theory wrong gets easier and easier.

That is exactly what sparked Nick to undertake another ambitious project: building a dry stone wall in his backyard. The massive, 25-ton structure required was built entirely by hand. Each stone weighing about 300 pounds, Nick recruited friends from the gym to help him move them. The wall took patience, precision, determination, and more than a year to complete, with the weekend being the only time for construction to take place. “People told me I couldn’t do it,” he recalls. “Well, that just made me want to prove them wrong.” The wall now stands as a symbol of Nick’s approach to life—steady, resilient, and unstoppable.

Sticking to a routine, even on the hardest days, builds confidence and proves to yourself that you’re worth the effort. Whether it’s waking up at 4 AM to run or methodically placing stones for his backyard wall, Nick’s discipline reflects a deep respect for himself and his goals. By showing up consistently, he’s not just building endurance—he’s building trust in his ability to overcome whatever life throws his way. Ironically, it is the decision to stick to it on the hardest days that often provide the most benefits.

Discipline also sharpens the mind, teaching it to silence doubt and embrace challenges. “When you commit to something difficult,” Nick says, “you realize how much you’re capable of.” It’s in those moments of pushing past comfort that true growth happens. For Nick, discipline is the bridge between who he is and who he wants to become—a powerful reminder that taking care of yourself is the highest act of love you can give.

Balancing his many roles—runner, caregiver, family man, entrepreneur—isn’t easy, but Nick has a simple philosophy: “If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of others.” During his toughest times, running was his therapy, his way to recharge and stay strong for those who depended on him. This is what discipline paired with self-care offers: the opportunity to understand fully what you are capable of, but also an outlet to work through your day-to-day challenges.