Solitude is Essential to Wellness

Solitude is the ultimate preventative medicine. Yet, most people feel uncomfortable being alone, especially in solitude with no distractions. Modern technology and a 24 hour go cycle has wired us to always need mental stimulation and companionable support.

But we also CRAVE. Have you ever shared one of those memes asking if you'd live in a log cabin, in the woods, alone for 30 days for a million dollars?

I know I have, and I practically live that lifestyle in the real world! I work from home, my husband is retired and we live in a 900 square foot funky home at the end of a dirt road bordering a government Wildlife Management Area. It is beautiful, it is quiet, but we are on top of each other.

People crave solitude but are normally freaked out when they find some. Being alone with your thoughts can be challenging. But we crave it because it is good for us.

From the hundreds of benefits of alone time, here are 8:

KNOW THY SELF

Being alone encourages deep thinking. You can delve into who you really are and what you want out of life. This is turn helps you set strong boundaries and make decisions that empower your life and move you in directions that are rewarding.

You get time to privately try on new hats without the opinions of others. You get to weigh out decisions without influence to see if the next step is what you really want or need. You make better career decisions and allow more compatible people into your life.

YOU VALUE YOURSELF MORE

Making time for yourself and your thoughts is probably one of the single best examples of self-care you can embrace. Putting yourself first shows your heart that you believe in yourself and what happens to YOU matters. It also shows others that you value yourself and teaches them to value you as well. It also gives other people silent permission to take time for themselves as well.

IMPROVES RELATIONSHIPS

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. You miss your loved ones when they are gone and this in turn makes you appreciate them more when they are around. You know yourself better, so you express your needs more clearly which can strengthen a relationship with better communication. Your increased sense of well being also makes you more pleasant to be around.

INCREASED HAPPINESS

Studies show that having regular alone time increases scores for happiness when self identified through testing. This leads to better overall life satisfaction. Not only are you understanding your self better and making your needs known more clearly, the mere fact of being alone can improve your happiness.

IMPROVES STRESS MANAGEMENT

Being in solitude, whether it is for 10 minutes or 10 days powers down your mind. It slows down this accelerated life we live. This reduces stress hormones such as cortisol and allows you to deal with stress more easily and helps avoid stress related illnesses. You emerge refreshed and refocused too. Just unwinding alone can be beneficial but if you combine meditation or other mindfulness practices with your down time the benefits are multiplied and more immediate.

SPARKS CREATIVITY

When we silence the chatter and the influences of modern life, our minds are free to wander. This type of free time allows you to come up with creative solutions to problems. It also helps you live more creatively in general and you might find yourself with a new hobby or craft project. Having creative projects have also been shown to improve overall life satisfaction.

YOU BECOME MENTALLY STRONGER

In the beginning, alone time can be scary. We aren't used to it and the more busier we are in life, the harder it is. But also, the busier you are, the more benefits you can capture from solitude. By training your mind to be okay with it's thoughts, you become mentally stronger. Professionals say this also makes it easier to adapt to life changes and handle stress. People aren't going to be able to push you around or take advantage of you as easily when you become mentally stronger.

BUILDS SELF-RELIANCE

How many times a day do you turn around and ask someone for help or for an idea? Being able to ask for help when you need it is a very valuable skill. But also being able to trust yourself and make a decision on your own can be equally helpful. The more comfortable you are with alone time, the more confident you feel and the more self-reliant you become.

Now that you know some of the benefits of solitude, how do you actually make that happen?

The first thing to understand is you are likely to find some resistance. It isn't surprising that those who depend on you will be resistant of having to do some things for themselves for a bit. But what is surprising is how much you yourself will resist solitude. You will find a million excuses of why you don't have time, why others need you more right now, and why it is a waste of time.

But the truth is, anyone who wants to can carve out 10 minutes a day. People who take advantage of your constant help will be more grateful for when you do make yourself available. You CAN learn to be okay with your THOUGHTS.

Being okay with your thoughts is really the bottom-line reason why we resist ourselves in this endeavor. It forces you to be honest with yourself. It forces you to take your inventory. It forces you to be who you really are when we aren't being something for someone else. It teaches you authenticity.

Doing nothing is hard and that is okay. Really, really okay.

Start slow with 5-10 minutes a day to do absolutely nothing. No phone, no TV, no family or friends or boss. Slowly build up the amount of time you can spend alone. This gives you a chance to rest, reboot and recharge.

Do whatever you have to do to make yourself a priority and carve out the time. Can you get up earlier or stay up a little later? Take advantage of your lunch break? Close the bedroom door and leave your phone in the other room during the kid's nap time?

The more you put into embracing some solitude, the more you will get out of it! Now, I am off for a walk in the woods for my quiet time! If I see you there, we can wave and keep on walking.