Self-care isn't just face masks and sleepy time tea

# Self-Care aka the most commonly used hashtag when it comes to justifying the fact that you're attempting to overcome and obstruct those so called obstacles in life. e.g I just dropped about a few hundred dollars on a new makeup product, a night out that I can barely remember or just anything in the means of materialistic. You know, the things that you can really show off.

Don't get me wrong I love the nice things however I've been in a space before (multiples times actually) where I have quite literally had everything I have ever wanted at my finger tips and I was still so fucking depressed.

Selfcare isn't all about the face masks and the sleepy time tea, it's not about the temporary fixes, it seems legit right, the easier option always does.

Comfortable is always smooth sailing, until you wake up again and again only to be hit with the familiar overbearing pain only for the cycle to be maliciously repeating itself and let me tell you I fucking hated it, I really began to dread every damn day..

When Mac Miller (rip) said "somebody come save me from my self yeah" I felt that, I resonated so hard with those lyrics that it got me thinking really fucking hard. So what do we do when we think like that? We share. Below are my learnings:

Self-care is being alone. Being alone when you're bored. Being alone in your mind with your demonic thoughts and then learning how to live through it, truly live I mean. Not just survive.

Self-care is going to therapy and counselling, then spending up the rest of your day trying not to fuck up your journey. Self-care is accepting that no one can fix you, you are not broken. However you must heal.

Self-care is putting away the drugs and alcohol when the going gets tough and not relying on them in order to function. Learning that addiction is real and it's not going to help you feel anything positive like you hoped.

Self-care is blocking that guy or girl you know that isn't good for you. No amount of convincing will make them realize you're worth. - Ok yeah you're up all night thinking about them and all that shit but what for? Go to sleep babe; sleep is self-care.

Self-care is going for a walk or doing a breathing exercise or calling a friend to clear your head rather than fucking your feelings away.

Self-care is knowing you have bills to pay and that you cannot afford to live beyond your means, self-care is understanding that sometimes you simply cannot have the things that the kids growing up around you had.

Self-care is re-parenting yourself, re-mapping your entire brain and nervous system and learning that jealousy and anger is a sick feeling. Self-care is accepting that it shall pass.

Self-care is saying no. Self-care is learning to say no to yourself first. (Saying no to your parents, family, your closest friends can leave us feeling extremely guilty huh. Especially being a brown girl..)

Self-care is allowing yourself to feel all your feelings without acting out on them impulsively. (Now I think this the hardest thing to do personally, because I just always have to say it how it is). Self-care is also learning to keep your mouth shut in order to preserve your energy.

Self-care is trusting yourself.

So, next time someone encourages you to take some out to do some self-care - and your finding that all the surface level stuff ain't for you; try and look past the collagen and the chamomile if you can.

XO.