NO BOUNDARIES, NO CLUE
Floating in my little bubble
See that kite? Flying free and easy through the clouds, pushed this way and that by random puffs of wind. That’s me. Upon deep examination of my convoluted and tortured path in life, I’ve realized I have no boundaries and no clue where I’m going or what I’m doing.
I’m okay with that — sometimes.
I’m okay with that because boundaries and plans are hard. I don’t like difficult. Confrontations frighten me and planning is tough when your life is ordered by random puffs of wind, tethered to reality by only a thin filament.
Certainly, those who know me well would be surprised that I hate planning and my relationship with solid ground is iffy. My children grew up seeing me as the homeschool mom who spent summers researching, hand copying from library books, and laying out curriculums for them both, which we stuck to meticulously until about March of the school year, when I gave up, gave in, and admitted defeat.
“Here, take your worksheets and don’t bother me until they’re done. I’m having a nervous breakdown.”
The worksheets, a product of my highly productive summer of research and curriculum planning always saved us. Each year the kids passed the state testing with flying colors and our homeschooling trial continued.
Don’t ask me how I did it for 12 years without becoming a raging alcoholic…oh, wait, we were Baptists, so that was out of the question. I quietly succumbed to anxiety and ulcers.
The invisible strand that hooked me to the homeschooling notion was a suggestion made by my husband. I wasn’t keen on doing it. But, there was this little puff of random wind…and, suddenly we were a homeschooling family.
My Sunday school students and Youth Group kids would be amazed that I was always flying by the seat of my pants. Lessons I prepared for them would begin with an interesting character from the Bible and a paraphrased story about said character with matching arts and crafts. Sometimes I would have the lessons ready to go days before presenting them. But, still, it always felt as though I was making it up as I went along.
I suppose I wasn’t really. But being in the moment always felt a bit out of my reach. Blink and the moment was over.
Boundaries? What are they? You mean I have to tell people to stop making me sad, annoyed, angry, or homicidal? I didn’t know that was a thing. Someone should have told me.
People who often use humor to deflect are generally boundary-less. I hate the way you’re talking to me. I will make a joke to cut you to the quick. You will be destroyed and I won’t have to tell you to stop being mean to me.
Do this often enough and people will avoid you and you won’t have to worry about making boundaries.
Problem solved.
You see, I can’t set boundaries with other people because I can’t set boundaries with myself. That might be a good place to begin if I only knew how. Unfortunately, I am in the last stage of my life, a time when I am not willing to deny myself instant gratification. Today may be my last day. Who knows? If I don’t finish this entire bottle of wine, it might go to waste. If I don’t buy these shoes today, what will I be buried in? Well, obviously a box. But what will I be wearing on my feet?
When you hit 70, your outlook on life changes. Boundaries are probably for the young folk. Now, all they will do for me and those around me is cause confusion and pain. See? Dilemma solved. I’m too old to live a mentally healthy life.
About the Creator
Tina D'Angelo
I am a 70-year-old grandmother, who began my writing career in 2022. Since then I have published 6 books, all available on Barnes and Noble or Amazon.
BARE HUNTER, SAVE ONE BULLET, G-IS FOR STRING, AND G-IS FOR STRING: OH, CANADA
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Comments (16)
I can relate to feeling like that kite, pushed around by life's randomness. Planning is tough, especially when things keep changing. You mentioned giving up on homeschooling plans mid-year. I've had similar experiences with projects at work. How did you manage to get back on track and keep the homeschooling going? And what made you stick with it despite the challenges?
Age is just a number, but it seems like wisdom is the new rebelliousness.
Loved the flow and honesty in your writing! I post about health and wellness — a bit of a different angle, but maybe something you’d find helpful or interesting. Would love if you gave one a read!
This was like reading my own internal monologue out loud—equal parts raw honesty, humor, and existential wisdom wrapped in sarcasm and soul. Tina, your writing dances on the edge of introspection and comedic timing with the finesse of someone who has absolutely seen some things. That kite metaphor? Instant classic. And that line—“I can’t set boundaries with others because I can’t set them with myself”—is the kind of truth that smacks you sideways before you realize you're nodding along in agreement. There’s something incredibly refreshing about the way you strip back the polished self-help narrative and just sit in the chaos without pretending it’s all figured out. You give voice to what many of us feel but are too afraid (or repressed) to admit. And in doing so, you’ve made the mess feel not only relatable—but weirdly poetic. This piece isn’t about having answers. It’s about naming the questions most of us are dodging and laughing at them anyway. Thank you for the transparency, the wit, and for making “floating in your little bubble” feel like an act of brave defiance. We need more stories like this—ones that give us permission to be wildly, beautifully unsure.
So, are you in your 70's now? Setting boundaries is healthy actually, which is also what stops me from slipping or falling back to addiction.
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I understand exactly what you are describing. Boundaries are so essential but so overlooked!
Thank you for sharing this with us, we do need to protect ourselves.
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
This was comedic and terribly relatable as a preschool teacher, I always feel like I'm just making shit up as I go through the day and my staff just go with it!! (Even though it's pre-planned and discussed) I also just love your candidness with this piece as you basically through your hands in the air and say "I am who I am and I like it that way!!" Great work Tina, congrats on Top Story!!
This piece was very relatable in many ways. Well done. Congratulations on your Top Story.
This is a very interesting approach. I can't say I fully agree with you. I'm young, so really, Who am I to say anything? But I think that every second of life is a beautiful gift from G-d and it should be used ot it's fullest capacity. Now, I won't say I don't waste my time away ever, but I try my best to use it in meaningful ways. I think everyone needs to leave behind a legacy people can strive on. You have kids? Let them live with lessons from you! Share your light with them and then it won't quite matter that a bottle of wine will go to waste because there are things so much more important and meaningful than that! I think people find it hard to set boundaries because of this whole movement in the world of "liberty" and "I can do whatever I want." But they're still super important to keep yourself an upright, ethical human.
I never been good with setting boundaries, but I find that's improved since I've aged. Great article. Congrats on the TS.
Boundaries are always good. I think I'll seize them even more as I age, because the older I get, the less patient I will be with people and their shit 😂
I have a hard time setting boundaries too, both with myself and others 😅😅 Lol, I've tried that joke method but it never worked for me.
Amazing and interesting, mummy don't call yourself old , you're till young ,lol. 70 is just the beginning ,you still have a lot of happiness , and blissful life ahead , young but aged.❤