Navigating The Waters Of Creation

Consider This Perspective:

In this constantly expanding universe we hold the power of creation in our very being. Whether it's deliberately make a mess, or accidentally make a masterpiece. Both examples require our existence. Creative pursuits can help bridge the gap between a hectic 9-5 work-life routine, and the preference of sanity.

There may be those among us who haven't found their spark. Or have found it with tremendous skill, but lack the confidence. Trust me, I've seen some of the most amazing "work-doodles" drawn in 5 minutes that went straight into the trash. While the artist doubted their unlimited potential.

We are all very capable of achieving whatever it is we so truly desire. So long as our self-image is internally validated, and not outsourced. The haters are just jealous you have the courage to try.

However, it seems there's a balance to be maintained. Regardless of what activity one may be engaged in. I wonder if that balance lies in-between the chaotic depths of the brain's right-hemisphere and the rigid orderliness of the left hemisphere?

In one hand there's the known order, or yang. On the other we have the unknown and abstract, or yin. From my amateur understanding of eastern philosophy paired with a little psychology, I've gathered something very helpful:

To achieve flow-state, it helps to find an equilibrium between the two opposites.

To settle too far off in any one direction might spell insanity if we become stuck there.

Bouncing between abstract creativity and very rigid order has been a tendency of mine. Finding a balance within these two extremes however, has been one hell of journey with many existential crises (at least 8).

Chaos, Painting, And Impatience:

We've all seen fantastic murals drawn by toddlers all around their home. I once gave painting a good shot without any foundational knowledge. It wasn't very different. Some turned out okay, but most were stacked in my closet as forgotten doodles. It was a therapeutic way to spend time and having the creative drive was great. However, I lacked the patience, grit, and orderly structure to be considered as a "professional."

Music Via Robotic Repetition:

On the more orderly and rigid side, there's my experience as a guitarist. Since age eleven, I've learned all my favorite songs by staring at a screen and programming tablature into the back of my mind. Cramming numbers. Hoping to magically develop the ability to improvise on the spot without all the tedious music theory lessons.

Unfortunately, memory and spontaneous creation are very different things. The grit to dive deep into my brain's left hemisphere in order to facilitate the structure I so desperately needed, didn't manifest until I was 26. Finally I was able to achieve that improvisational flow-state after literally only a couple months of online lessons and deliberate, mindful, practice.

Roughly fifteen years of "play" gave me technical skill, but only a few months of work was all it took to have a knowledgeable foundation.

Efficient musical creation can be an intimidating and megalithic entity.

It's called composing for a reason.

If a pianist is strung out during a recital, the whole audience will sense it.

Essentially, the artist is diving straight into the depths of chaos. Intentionally. Determined to alchemize a treasure that can be universally expressed through every language barrier.

Many hobbyists can settle for playing their top five songs with no desire to create original pieces. As a part-time hobby that's perfectly fine. However, with fifteen years invested, I longed for the ability to create original works.

I finally made it! But then...

Unfortunately, not long after my breakthrough, I injured my shoulders. Preparing for the worst, I expected rotator cuff surgery and six months of recovery. Guitar was out of the picture. So was work.

I didn't know what to do with myself for a couple weeks. Lots of nature walks to soothe the nerves. Plenty of staring at my phone. After overindulging in the digital world, I'd often gravitate towards meditation.

Finding Contentment Amongst Uncertainty:

The term "meditation" has been quite stigmatized. It's not just moving to Tibet and living in a cave for a year. Sometimes it's enjoying the warmth of the sun. Other times it's stepping behind the constant streams of thought that come into our minds. It's feeling anxious and shifting from constant ruminations, to sitting down and breathing in pursuit of a third person perspective behind thought.

What can inevitably be brought back from this is presence. A crucial aspect of any form of creation. When life is really uncertain, meditation could simply be the acceptance of what is. Just sitting there in silence and "Being Here Now," as Ram Dass might say.

It can be a great way to find some peace in a world that's got some issues. I hope we sort them out more sooner than later. That being said, meditation can also help one adapt to the unknowns in life. By reflecting and rewiring our perception.

Maybe another form is mindful contemplation? "There's this thing that's not going so well, how can I work against it? Or, how can I see it in a brighter light?"

It takes an unwavering amount of understanding, awareness, and acceptance to confront and cope with uncertainty. Which I initially felt very deeply the first month after the injury. To not cave in to self-victimization required a willingness to step outside the box I was accustomed to.

It Finally Came...

After simply sitting with myself for a while, I felt this intuitive pull towards writing. Put it off a couple times, but eventually gave in. Instantly, there was this constant flow. Like a stream coming through my being. Using my dominant and only functional arm, I began writing. Pencil. Paper. Flow.

Guitar was a more learned and self-induced flow-state. Writing wakes me up at three in the morning and I follow it's path. I'm still new to it but the flow just comes.

Recently I received the very fortunate news that my shoulder should heal within six weeks. The expectation of surgery and plenty of recovery time was shattered. All the time I spent confronting and coping with the uncertainty though, was now a catalyst.

Gratitude.

This setback has propelled me forward exponentially. I'm very grateful for the many realizations this opportunity provided.

In summary:

When it comes to uncertainty, I think it's very possible to journey into the unknown without getting stuck. The intent of bringing something constructive back is crucial though.

Imagine being aware of all the unknowns in this world and grounding yourself there. Not with the intent of staying, but to build a sturdy foundation that could maintain balance in one of the tallest of trees. Limbs inching infinitely closer towards the Sun.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Always.

Achieving creative flow in any medium is like diving into the abstract depths of the unknown, carrying a net with just enough order to catch what you're searching for. This is what I believe creation is and why it is so therapeutic for many people.

In music, it's called "composing" for a reason. It's like having an outlet to retreat to if we seek a state of composure.

To be composed is to walk through the night curious of what lies there. Knowing there is still a light that guides.

There's always another sunrise on the way.

That, I think is how a balance between logic and creativity can result in compositions of many sorts. Whether it's an eloquent piece of embroidery, Moonlight Sonata, or our own lives.

Simply seeking a calm place to sit with our bodies and feel them out might help us find our spark if given enough time.

Curiosity and courage form the muse that helps us find our way.

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