My Disabled Husband Was Left Struggling To Look After Me For Two Months.

I hate being unwell.

It's bad enough that I suffer from very severe migraine and stomach cramps that are so painful, that they completely exhaust me for days at the end of the month.

This was worse than that.

I spent the whole of November with what I thought was a common cold, until the beginning of December when I started coughing all the time, suffered severe shivering, and a cough that lasted all day and night.

"It must be the flu," I told myself.

I had no severe temperature, but I was constantly bringing up a lot of green phlegm

I couldn't eat much because everything tasted like paper, and I had serious trouble drinking anything.

I spent the whole of that time in bed, sleeping because I was exhausted beyond belief.

My husband called a doctor because he was very worried about me. The last time I became severely unwell was when I was a child, and I suffered from lead poisoning at school after our drinking water had become contaminated.

He had never seen me like this before, even after my c-section trauma.

I don't remember much about Christmas, because I was so unwell. I do know that one of my sons had come to stay with us, and I couldn't spend any time with anyone as I was sleeping all of the time.

It took hours for my husband to get through to the doctor because they were very busy over the festive season.

My husband spent over 30 years as a nurse, so he knew I needed to be seen.

The doctor refused to come out, even though he explained that he thought I had RSV.

He told my husband to call an ambulance because I couldn't stand up or breathe properly.

I also suffer from allergic rhinitis, though mine isn't just caused by summer weather; I have to deal with it all year, no matter the season.

I use steam inhalation to help me cope.

This condition can be worse when you are unwell, and I was unable to breathe or blow my nose properly.

My husband called an ambulance, but they told me to drink plenty of water and rest. They did not feel a need for me to go to the hospital but they did contact the doctor and tell them they needed to see me at home because I could not leave the house in the state I was in. I couldn't walk for, or get into a car.

The doctor refused to see me. They also said I shouldn't go in because I was an infection risk.

I drank as much as I could, which was very little because I couldn't take a lot of fluid; it was almost at the end of two months before I could eat properly again.

Before this, I had decided that I wanted to get fit.

I had strengthened every part of my body, and I felt good about myself for it.

However, it has taken me from being ill to now, to find the courage to look in the mirror because I have lost all of the strength I gained, and my face has been white with dark circles under my eyes.

My tummy has lost shape fast, and despite not being able to eat much, I look to have gained weight because my stomach muscles have become slack causing it to take the old, round shape back.

I am trying to look after myself and get my routine back but I still cannot stand seeing myself in the mirror.

It has made me feel down with myself, that some days I feel like giving up, and just accepting it, but I won't; because that won't help me regain my shape.

Our NHS is in bits.

It is very down-hearting when I spent almost a year in therapy for my mental health being told that self-care is important, only to find when I need help with it, nobody is there to help.

The worst part is that my husband is severely disabled, and my doctor knows that I am the only registered carer for him.

He was left struggling with his severe pain, tiredness, and balance problems whilst trying to help me to recover.

It didn't make me feel good about myself at all, and it just goes to show that the health system in England doesn't work for any of us.