Mediate On It

there’s dimensions of thought. you could also call this, levels of consciousness, or ways of perceiving your reality. the point of life, whether you are aware yet or not, is to go through these cycles. to continue the evolution of your mind or perception, until life becomes not a struggle, but an act of pure creation & aliveness. a place where who you believe you are, have been, or could be, falls into irrelevance.

meditation.

this is where I recognized & saw the importance of my headspace.

pause & think really quickly but deep about what that word means to you. 𝙢𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣. whether it’s your personal definition, whether it’s how you’ve seen society define it, or whether you do mediate or don’t. there is no wrong answer.

I’ve heard all the stereotypes. very humorous, but I take them all seriously as well. from its a “hippie” thing, to it’s only a yoga/self~help thing, to it’s prayer, to it’s weird, to it’s pointless, to it’s calming, to it’s hard. ofcourse these stereotypes have truth in every way. ofcourse they would. even the idea it’s pointless, is correct to the person who holds that opinion. it’s pointless for them, as they did not find a meaning enough in it. no discrimination from me.

but I started mediation. while undergoing a stage in my life of suicidality, juggling a cocaine addiction, being physically very unhealthy, trying to force a girl to love me back, I won’t go into my whole sob story here, I mean we all have problems. isn’t that the irony of life, that we all know we have a story & yet we often forget our story isn’t the only one.

I began simply by sitting in a position where my body was fully aligned & symmetrical, & allowing each one of my thoughts to be granted my full attention.

I did this for hours daily.

many people assume the point of mediation is to quiet your mind & force all your thoughts away. but while that can be a type of useful meditation, it’s defeating the purpose. because this is what we do all day. our lives are corrupt, because our minds are corrupt, by the thoughts we allow to fester & birth more, & start whole wars with each other. we often can’t separate our thoughts, from reality.

I noticed this right away. my head was a chaotic jungle of negativity. chatter, chatter. it was almost sickening. these voices were of too high a quantity. & I started to notice my reality was a pure reflection of all these thoughts I had. I just had no idea how immense the connection between my thoughts & my reality.

does anyone, do you?

I meditated more & more. it was beyond fascinating. I noticed the ways I excused my drug addiction by filling my brain up with lies about how it wasn’t affecting me, how it was okay because others did drugs too, about how I would stop soon. lies. liar liar, my head. I noticed how my lack of motivation or passion for other aspects in my life, & my huge untamed attachment to my childhood traumas led me to seek out the attention of someone who no longer wanted me & betrayed me often, & to tell myself I needed them. as if anyone “needs” anyone else. ha. I noticed how every negative circumstance of my reality was simply a manifestion of the thoughts in my head, ninety percent of which I ignored.total ignorance. I acted, instead of listening to the content of the directions I was giving myself.

I acted on my thoughts, without knowing what my thoughts were even saying.

if I would’ve looked at the map before I started moving, I wouldn’t have gotten so lost. I know this better than anything else now.

so what is meditation?

for me, it was a genuine life~force. ive never felt clearer.

I’ve never had such a sense of inner peace, or feeling of connection to everyone & everything. Or such a radical beautiful knowledge of the power I hold over my reality. yes, my whole life.

I’ve started writing new directions, on a new map.