Life with Fibromyalgia

Sometimes you see ads for medications about migraines, heart problems, and so many other disorders or illnesses. I can’t remember if I have ever seen one for fibromyalgia, but I can remember the handful of articles about which celebrities have it. And on paper it looks like this small thing that just means you’re in pain and you can take whatever medications and life goes back to normal as if there is nothing wrong. I hate to say it... but that is a very painful lie.

To get the diagnosis of fibromyalgia can take years. It took almost five years of pain and agony and test after test before I was sent to a pain specialist. My best friend has known someone with fibromyalgia so we asked the doctor if that could potentially be what the problem was. He was immediately irritated with us and gave me the nerve medication right away. Within three weeks my daily struggle of being anywhere between a 6-9 or 10 I was down around a 2 at most for quite a while. The medication helps, but I have to take it three days and I have to take a lot of it.

While my pain was managed it did not solve the biggest issues. The flare ups are pure agony. They make it hard for me to walk to the point I can be stuck in bed for hours and sometimes days. I’m exhausted constantly and struggle with headaches. My head gets so foggy I can barely function what I am doing. Imagine having a great day and suddenly feeling like you’re dragging around fifty extra pounds of weight that is slowly crushing you. It hurts to the point I can barely breath from time to time just because of how hard it is on my body and it does my asthma no benefits. I can feel myself dragging as if I’m wading through the ocean tide. Everything is moving, but there is resistance to every movement and with each step I am more exhausted.

I can remember the handful of times I have been put in the ER because of the pain before I was properly diagnosed. One of those times they gave me opiates for pain medication. I do not respond to opiates very well to start with as I am fairly resistant to a good number of medications. It did nothing and there was nothing truly wrong with me so they sent me home with some medical recommendations which I appreciated and followed up on with my primary. However, within two hours of getting home I was itching so badly that I scratched my skin bloody without realizing it. My husband gave me some allergy medication and stopped me from itching until it finished kicking in. I still have a scar on my leg from where I had scratched my skin raw and we now let my doctors know I have an allergy to it. I am actually allergic to essentially most medications doctors give you. I am extremely sensitive to Tylenol which means it is a toss-up on whether or not I will have a reaction to it. Which leaves me in a bad position with a lot of things, but I will say that pain medication does nothing for people with fibromyalgia related pain. It is the nerves, not the rest that hurt and most over the counter medications do nothing for it.

Most days I am exhausted before it even begins. But now that I am getting ready to start a family with my husband, we have learned that I cannot take my pain medication when I finally get pregnant. Meaning I will be back in agony and likely put on bed rest earlier in my pregnancy than I would like. This however is not something that will deter me from the prospect of starting our family. In fact, it solidifies my decision knowing that I will push myself through the pain to get what I truly want, a new family. Perhaps someday I will be able to take a pain medication while pregnant, but that possibility does not exist yet.