Letting Go of Perfect

For most of my life, I chased a dream that wasn’t truly mine. The perfect life. The glossy, Instagram-filtered, success-story version of living that society subtly (and sometimes loudly) told me I needed to have.

You know the one: career climbing at the speed of light, a picture-perfect relationship, a stylish home with just the right touch of minimalism, and the kind of social life that made people think you were thriving.

And for a while, I had pieces of it. A well-paying corporate job. A long-term relationship. An apartment that looked straight out of a Pinterest board. Friends who called often. Family that boasted about me.

But inside? I was exhausted. Empty. Trapped.

Living the Script

Looking back, I realize I was living a script someone else wrote. I followed the rules: go to college, get a "real" job, find stability, get married, buy property, climb the ladder, retire rich.

I wasn’t raised to question this path. In fact, questioning it made me seem ungrateful or rebellious. So I didn’t question it.

I stayed busy. I said yes to promotions, even when they meant longer hours and less joy. I said yes to social plans, even when I wanted to sit alone in silence. I said yes to a relationship that looked good on paper but felt distant in person.

I smiled in pictures. I hit deadlines. I said all the right things.

Until one day, I couldn’t anymore.

Cracks in the Illusion

It started small. I'd come home after work and sit in my car for ten extra minutes, not wanting to go inside. I’d wake up with a feeling of heaviness I couldn’t explain. I’d go through entire weeks feeling like I was performing a version of myself I barely recognized.

Then the anxiety attacks came.

One afternoon, in the middle of a meeting, my chest tightened. My heart raced. I couldn't breathe. I excused myself and sat in the stairwell, trying not to cry.

I told myself it was stress. A rough week. A lack of sleep.

But this kept happening. My body was screaming what my mind refused to admit: I wasn’t happy.

And I didn’t know how to admit it out loud because, on the outside, my life looked enviable.

The Breaking Point

It took a friend asking me a simple question to shift everything.

"If no one was watching, would you still be living this way?"

The answer hit me like a gut punch.

No.

I wouldn’t be working 70-hour weeks to prove my worth. I wouldn’t be in a relationship that made me feel small. I wouldn’t be so afraid to admit that I wanted different.

Not more. Just different.

The Slow Unraveling

Letting go of the "perfect life" dream wasn’t a single, dramatic moment. It was a series of decisions that felt small but added up to something big.

I started with honesty. I told my partner I needed space to figure out who I really was. That led to a painful, but necessary breakup.

I told my boss I couldn’t keep pushing at the same pace. Eventually, I stepped down from a leadership role I had fought hard to get. I took a pay cut. I started freelance work that gave me flexibility—and anxiety about money.

I downsized my apartment. I stopped going to social events just to be seen. I unfollowed influencers who made me feel like my life wasn’t enough.

And then, I sat with the silence.

That was the hardest part.

Because when you let go of the dream life, there's a grief. A mourning. For what you thought you wanted. For the years you spent chasing it. For the people who may not understand why you're walking away.

But in that silence, I started to hear my own voice.

Discovering What I Actually Wanted

Without the noise of expectations, I realized I loved simple things. Morning walks without a deadline looming. Writing in a journal without an audience. Working with people one-on-one, not leading big teams. Spending time with people who saw the messy, real version of me—and loved me anyway.

I realized I didn’t want to be rich. I wanted to be free.

I didn’t want the biggest house. I wanted a space that felt peaceful.

I didn’t want to be busy. I wanted to be present.

And most of all, I didn’t want to be admired. I wanted to be whole.

Rebuilding on My Own Terms

Over time, I built a new life from the ground up. It’s not glamorous. But it’s mine.

I work less, but I create more. I earn enough to live simply. I have deeper friendships now—fewer in number, but richer in connection.

I learned to say no without guilt. I learned to rest without shame. I learned to listen to the inner compass I had silenced for years.

And slowly, I learned that letting go doesn’t mean giving up. It means making space for what actually fits.

What I Lost—and What I Found

I lost status. Some friendships faded. My parents still don’t entirely understand why I walked away from a "perfect" life.

But I found joy. Peace. Self-respect. And a sense of alignment I never had before.

I no longer live for applause. I live for meaning.

And every day, I choose the messy, honest, imperfect life over the polished, performative one.

The Moral of the Story

Letting go of the perfect life isn’t failure. It’s freedom.

The pressure to look successful can drown out the whispers of your own soul. But here’s the truth:

You don’t owe anyone a performance.

You don’t need to meet every expectation placed on you.

You get to define what success means for you.

If your dream life doesn’t feel like your life, it’s okay to let it go. You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re just waking up.

And when you do, you might just discover that an imperfect, authentic life is the most beautiful one of all.

You don’t have to live a perfect life. You just have to live your life.

That, I’ve learned, is more than enough.

Thank you for reading...

Regards: Fazal Hadi