Iyawo

My life has turned into an ivory colored landscape.

Iyawo.

It is my name for the year.

I am wrapped in the color of Obatala. My crown belongs to Oshun.

Oshun and Obatala - my parents in Orisha. The Yoruba people’s spiritual messengers to Olofi (God/Divinity).

The year of Iyawo (a word that means bride in Yoruba, and signifies that you have married your life to your Orisha) - fills my every life second now. From my dreams, to the way I pray as early as 4:30AM at times, and the ways I dress in all white. I walk the streets of NYC. People watch and wonder why I am dressed like “this”. I am growing used to it. I told my wife: “From time immemorial anyone following a spiritual calling, and taking on the dressing of priesthood or monastery, has received double looks in passing. I am no different than buddhist monks, nuns, ministers with a collar, rabbis, catholic priests…any priesthood with a ceremonial robe. I am in good company.”

As different as I may feel at the moment, I can’t imagine not being in the protection of Obatala’s color. Sure I miss fashion and make up - but not enough to give up this experience. In the white clothing and white cotton we find the love that brought us to our mission on Earth.

So when you are fully immersed in your religious life, do you experience real calm?

Well…I would say: No. Not all the time.

Mostly because there is an adjustment period from living a mostly secular life with partial conversations to God/Spirit versus the immersion of every second. You are in the world but not of the world. You are very aware that many eyes are on you - when in fact all you want is to be alone with the energy who loves you the most. I would say that is our test in Iyaworaje--and in fact, that may be a main test for anyone joining monastic or religious life. Calm is the ideal outcome of living the trial. The test is part of our offering.

You are not caring about the Super Bowl parties and the clubs and the social gatherings. At least not yet. You are in fact in the real chrysalis - where before you may have been the caterpillar forming your cocoon.

I also realize that I used to form an edge with my secular clothing. A barricade against others. During this period the barricade falls in a very real way -- because, how can you be of assistance to anyone in life when you are hiding behind walls of irritation and unkindness?

If I am real though -- the most breaking down of the barricade has been with my own loved ones. I am learning how to be more intentional with my love. How can I be more grateful, loving, present, accessible, caring. All the things I receive from my loved ones that I sometimes assume they get from me to on a consistent basis. I know in some ways they do…but in some other ways I am finding the ways to improve. I am finding ways to not stay quiet when I want to express who they are to me, to reach out to show my care, to check in. My loved ones are my first ministry after all.

So I open the new chapters of my writing. Maybe I will keep these narratives for the bulk of it. After all, sometimes the person who takes the time to read our storytelling is who needs it the most at that precise moment. Whoever you are - religious or not - if any part of this writing resonates, you are not alone in your life’s journey.